Here Are 7 Ways Men Know If We’re Good In Bed

Men are always trying to figure us women out, like we’re some kind of experiment. The guys over at Men’s Health have come up with a list of ways to tell if a woman is good in bed. Because bro science.

They actually consult Helen Fisher, Ph.D, author of Why We Love about these totally foolproof ways of determining which ladies are little sex monkeys. It’s all very insightful.

Let’s go through these signs shall we?

1. She suggests Thai for dinner: Men’s Health says that if a woman makes a decision on what to eat, she knows what she wants in the bedroom. So I guess the whole, “I’m not craving anything, let’s eat whatever” thing that I’ve been doing means I don’t know what I want sexually. That’s unfortunate.

2. She eats it up: I’m sensing a food trend here. “If someone eats slowly, it’s likely that they like to make love for a long time.” Oh really? Because sometimes I’m starving and shovel food into my mouth, and the guy I’m sleeping with very apparently enjoys himself.

3. She screams for ice cream: Your awesomeness in bed directly correlates with your taste in ice cream. “Coffee-ice-cream lovers—found to be dramatic, seductive, flirtatious—are most romantically compatible with strawberry fans.” Um. What?

4. She talks like you: Basically if you speak at the same tempo as a guy or match his verbal habits, you’re good in bed. But if you’re shy and maybe don’t talk that much or you change the subject, OH WELL NO SEX FOR YOU.

5. She knows who Sid Vicious is: Sid Vicious was the bassist for the Sex Pistols in the ’70s. Mostly older women will know this, specifically menopausal women who are “more assertive and demanding, and many of them become more interested in sex.” Oh and young women “aren’t relaxed enough to have an orgasm” so I guess until we’re in our 40’s we’re just no good under the sheets.

6. She gives good lip: If you’re a good kisser, you’re good in bed. Now, this is a decent cue but have you had a really steamy makeout sesh with a guy and he’s terrible in bed? It happens. Oh and the girls who are the best “start with baby kisses, and then maybe lick your top lip and suck your bottom lip.” Because nothing says I know how to use my vagina like licking a guy’s mouth.

7. She’s a good dancer: Because dancing is the same as sex, obviously. So if you can Harlem Shake like nobody’s business, you are a sex goddess!

The truth is, you can’t tell if someone’s good in bed by what they order to eat or what kind of ice cream they like or their age. The only way to know is if you sleep with them, and you like it.

What do you think of this list? Do you agree with any of their “scientific” cues? Tell me in the comments!

Trying a new technique didn’t quite work out for this girl

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Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships
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  • Hadja

    Personnally poufffff all those are like guesses. dammmn I don’t talk that much. I hate ice cream and if I have to eat it it have to be chocolate ice cream. I don’t even try dancing because oh well… I don’t feel crazy enought. But I know god damn well I will fuck good.
    Sorry I am a virgin:D

  • So yeah

    This is rediculous on so many levels.
    Ignoring the fact that none of these cololate with sex in ANY way, the fact is, its a matter of taste. A girl and sleep with a guy and get nothing out of it, and then another girl sleeps with him and its mind blowing.
    You can’t label someone as “good” or “bad” at something that different people have different opinions on.