Sexy Sex With Shallon: Is a Facebook Relationship Status Lame or Necessary?

facebook relationship status

A cloudy day but we felt very sunny!

Well gurlyy Gurls, I am back from my Jamaican vacay with B and it was… kind of a fiasco, to be honest. First of all, it rained about 80% of the time we were there, then I went and got food poisoning. HOW ROMANTIC! I mean is there anything sexier? And of course it hit on our last day, the only sunny day the entire trip. And I just had to sit there, propped up on a pool chair like a crumpled bug, totally green and nauseous. But B did something totally unexpectedhe took care of me. Like, as if he were my own mother.

“Babydoll, this is what love is,” he said as he lead me, feverish and staggering, through the airport. “What, did you think I’d cut and run when you got sick?”

Uh yeah actually I did. The last trip I took with a boy was to Puerto Rico with my old (awful) BF, J. During the trip I got kicked by a wild horse (long story) and thought I broke my elbow. J told me I was “ruining our vacation” because I didn’t want to have sex that night–my arm was broken–and insisted we go off-roading, purely out of spite.

But B was the opposite, and beyond. So in spite of the dysentery and the dreary weather, just being with him was amazing. Have you guys traveled with a boyfriend before? It’s SO different than a getaway with your friends, right??

The weather :/

The weather :/

This might sound weird, but it’s way more like going on a trip with your family than with your BFFs–you do mellower things and read more. It’s more of a relaxing time than a OMFG YOU GUYZ LET’S RAGE situation. But we all know those are fun too 🙂

But the BIG NEWS is that… we said I love you!! You guys voted that I should let it slip out if I was really feeling it, so I decided to be bold and brave and tell him I loved him the next time it bubbled up. But as fate would have it, he said it first! The way it happened was, well, interesting:

We were boarding the plane to Jamaica and this big burly guy started berating a flight attendant–who probably weighed all of 110 pounds–because she couldn’t lift his suitcase into the overhead bin! She was on the verge of tears, so I, ever the hothead, stepped in and told him to man the F up and lift his own suitcase.


Taking advantage of the rare sun.

“Just mind your own goddamn business, this is her job,” he hissed at me. Big mistake.

“Hey BROSEPH,” I hollered back, “If you can’t hoist your own cheap-ass suitcase that’s probably full of beef jerky and Valtrex, you are not a man, which makes you a girl…which makes us evenly matched. And trust me, I’m a lot crazier than I look or sound right now. So apologize to her and sit your ass down.”

People actually clapped. The guy was so stunned–I mean really, Valtrex? Where was I going with that?–he just kind of plopped into his seat, open-mouthed as I glared him down.

“That was,” started B, and I braced myself for a serious scolding, “the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I love how fiesty you are. In fact…I love you. I’m completely in love with you, Shallon.”

“You…really?” I stuttered. “I…I love you too!” And I do. SO MUCH! So we got to spend the entire trip saying ILY to each other like dorks, even through my sickness. Weeee I’m so happy!


To status or not to status?

But as always, I’m facing another relationship quandry–Facebook. Some of my friends keep asking my why I’m not listed as “In a Relationship” on FB. The thing is, B isn’t on Facebook so I kinda think it’s weird to list myself as coupled up with no significant other listed. Or worse yet, a name that links to nowhere, like I’ve made him up and spend my nights dressing my body pillow up in a boy’s hoodie and spraying it down with Abercrombie cologne. Not that I’ve done that…

Tell me: should I list myself as off the market or not? Is being in an FB relationship important or less so as you get older? If your BF didn’t have his status as coupled up, would you hit the roof?


Tell me your thoughts in the comments, and don’t forget to visit me at my website and follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’ll blindly obey and be back next week with a fresh new update!


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  • gg

    Just do what you want.

  • gg

    I really don’t think it matters.

  • bakerychaz

    I think once you’ve said “I love you”, that’s permission to update your facebook relationship status.