From The Message Boards: Birth Control Without Telling Your Parents

Birth control is always a pretty popular topic with you ladies. I saw this post in the boards about how to get birth control without telling your parents. Should you get it without their permission?

Let’s see what y’all had to say:

loveadell100 said:

Does anyone know any idea in how I would get birth control pills without having to tell my parents? And if they’re not free can you also list prices if you know any?

flamingoccm said:

Go to the doctor? Planned Parenthood? You have to get a prescription. They’re NOT going to be free, and the cost depends on what your insurance covers and the brand you get, so I really cannot give you a list of prices.

alegnatm said:

Get a friend or another trusted adult to give you a ride, at Planned Parenthood they have a sliding scale, and it shouldn’t be that expensive.

I’m all for birth control, but it’s also something you should never take without a prescription. I understand that it’s scary to talk to your parents because they might not get where you’re coming from. But I think it’s really important to talk to them about this.

You don’t have to tell your parents if you get birth control from your doctor. However, I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t talk to my mom about it beforehand. She discussed some of the trouble she had with birth control which helped me make my decision on which one I wanted to take.

I went on birth control because I had really terrible cramps and a very irregular cycle, but talking it out with my mom opened a new dialogue for us. I discuss pretty much everything with her now, and it’s so comforting that I have her to go to.

So while you don’t have to discuss it with your parents, I think it’s worth it. And if you can have a mature discussion about why you want to go on birth control, they might see you’re more grown up and can be responsible.

What do you think about getting birth control without telling your parents? Did you talk to your parents about birth control? Tell me in the comments!

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  • Joanna

    Just because some comments dont fit the norm or the general politically correct mould does not give anyone the right to name call.
    “freedom of speech and thought” is the hall mark of an advanced society. Censorship is being restrictive and narrowminded.
    The post by “disgusted” reeks of narrowmindedness. Many comments to her, may appear inappropriate. This does not give her the right to call anyone names. This site is for everyone. Me and my friends from school, when we get together sit and reply to various posts on here. Just because our comments are posted from the same site, does not mean those comments came from the same person. Some of my comments in the past have been criticised too. But productive criticism is so different from the comments from “disgusted” Those comments were unnecessary and so uncool. Shame on “disgusted”
    This site is great only because we can come on and make comments without the concern that we may be judged or condemned. As teens we have our own thoughts, concerns, anxieties and at times we may make comments that may not agree with everyone. Such is debate and sharing of opinion. Thats what makes a site so good. Being a conformist and saying what is politically right or what is deemed goody goody and fits with the expectation of society and old minded folk will make this site boring, uninteresting and mundane. It is so important to have a differing view point and to stimulate discussions. STOP NAME CALLING.

  • cookie gurl

    This is not fair calling people names. I agree some of the comments are a bit crude but we should all be able to make comments on here without worrying about others judging and name calling.
    I know 2 of my friends when they were 12 had sex. I knew about it because I used to hang out with them. I even saw one of them lose their virginity.
    I dont think she should go on the pill but she should tell the guy to use a condom.

  • Disgusted. . .

    The comments on this entry are completely disgusting. It reads like the same sicko pedophile wrote all of them as a fantasy. A 12 year old being taken advantage of by an older guy is nothing to encourage. The owner of this blog needs to remove the comments.

    • astonished

      The girl has already started doing stuff. Isn’t it therefore important that she is taught how to take precautions? I am not sure why the over reaction.
      Has she even mentioned or alluded to being taken advantage of?
      She seems to be enjoying the relationship and seems to be okay. I agree 12 may be quite young but still these things are taking place in society these days.
      I doubt you can prevent this happening but you can make sure they are safe and take precautions. I think we need to be balanced in our opinions. This site is popular with teens only because they can come on and make comments without being judged. Take that away and this site is doomed to fail

  • Lollipop Puppet

    I totally agree with this post, that you should discuss it with your parents beforehand. My older sister recently started taking the pill because she has horrible cramps, so she, my mother and I were all talking about it one day. I’m only 13 at present, so this isn’t much of a concern for me at the moment, but when I’m older, if I start having sex I’d much rather go to my mom and have an open discussion about it. I don’t wanna ruin my life so soon, and I figure that if I came to her about it as a responsible adult it should be a much easier conversation. I totally say that talking about it with your parents is a-ok. It’d also be a lot less stressful than having to tell them that you’re pregnant.

  • lilstarryeyedangel

    r u my age amy? I so dont want my mom finding out tht I have been having sex. I dunno, sumtimes he uses condoms but mostly he pulls out. We been doin it a lot especially wen I am with him at weekends. Can I get the pill? I dont want ne 1 to know tht I am wit an older guy. I really like him a lot. He says at 12 I am safe becoz..ummm..he explained sumthn.

    • megan

      your mom can only find out if you tell her or your friends talk about you and your older boyfriend. I am with a much older guy too but no one knows except 2 of my very very closest friends and I know for sure they wont tell.
      What he prolly means is tht you are safe becoz you dont have your periods yet but you must b careful becoz you will know ehen you are abt to start your periods for the first time, you will start having a real heavy whitish thickish discharge for a few months before you actually start your periods.
      I know its so kewl to be with an older guy. I know how u feel. Does he know u r 12? If he dont know dont tell him how old u r. So u been wit him all weekend? wow! have u fu**** all weekend? Its the mose awesum feelin, like u wanna sleep but u r so excited n wanna do it more n more.

    • lili

      I would personally not go on the pill yet. You are still very young. Condoms would be preferable. Does he pull out or does he cum inside you? I know he thinks you are safe because you havent started your period and some guys think it feels better without condoms. If you have developed boobs and pubes you are likely to start your periods soon. Also as Megan has said, you will start having a lot of discharge a while before you start your periods. So be safe. try and get him to use condoms. Tell him you are worried about getting pregnant. Seems like you guys do it a lot. Your weekends must be pretty busy. HEHE :P Just be safe and you will enjoy it even more.

    • maria

      Pulling out is okay and then you can suck him or jerk him off to make him cum. I know guys like that a lot and being older he probably has the experience and control to do that. But being 12, even if you havent started your periods yet you are very likely to be starting them soon. Have you had a thick white discharge for a while? Like first thing in the morning when you wake up and you go for a pee, do you find you have that stuff on your undies or when you wipe yourself? What about pubes and boobs? wow you guys are having a lot of sex! I am glad you havent gotten prego. I know it feels really good especially if the guy makes you enjoy it. Just be careful and get him to use a condom. Seriously.
      I dont think your mon will fnd out unless something major happens like you falling pregnant. So just get him to wear a condom.I think it might be difficult to get the pill especially if you havent started your periods. Once your periods start then you can get the pill. You dont have to tell your mom. You can ask the Health Nurse at school but dont let her know you have an older bf. You dont have to go into details. Have fun.

    • MissKnowAll

      I think you are too young for the pill honestly. Tell him to use a condom. I have read somewhere that there is a foam you can apply in your vagina. It is called delfin foam. I am not sure if this is safe But some use this if they are allergic to condoms. For pulling out to be successful he needs to pull out in time and then you can jerk him or suck him to make him cum. I guess he is a lot older and so he knows how to control himsef before he cums. This is a problem with younger guys who have no experience.
      Have your boobs developed? As the other girls have suggested, you will know your periods will start in 6 to 12 months once you start having a thick white discharge.
      I had the same dilemma when I started having sex at 12. But like you my bf was a lot older and he was so sweet and caring and he took real good care of me and never got me into trouble. I know how much you enjoy the fun that you guys are having. It feels so good doesnt it? How do you hide it from your mom? You must have really great friends to cover for you. The weekends must be awesome. Just be careful sweety. No one will know but make sure you dont get into trouble that then opens a can of worms. The law is not kind to older guys and younger girls. Crazy I know and it sucks but thats the way it is.

    • Allie

      Have you started your period? If you havent, he probably thinks you are safe and wont fall pregnant. Yes guys like the feeling without the condom but sweety, you are 12 and if you are anywhere close to starting your periods you could certainly fall pregnant. Things like thick white discharge, fullness of boobs, appearance of pubes and other things that the others have posted are signs you are about to start your period.
      I think you are still too young for the pill but you must insist on him wearing a condom.
      Your relationship with him will be discovered if you fall pregnant and then he will be in big trouble. If you want your relationship to remain a secret then make sure such things dont happen and the best way is for him to wear a condom.
      I am sure he will enjoying doing things like oral sex on you especially with your age which he must find appealing and cute. Such things are a huge turn on for guys. Also as someone else mentioned you can suck him, which I am sure you do a lot, and make him cum that way. There are loads of things you both can do to enjoy yourselves. Once you are older you can then go on the pill and at that stage if you are confident he doesnt have any STDs you can engage in sex without a condom.
      I guess he is a lot older than you. Nothing bad about that as long as you both enjoy each other and like each other. He seems to be a nice guy if you like being with him so much. Go for it but keep safe and that way your relationship will remain a secret.

  • Amy

    When I read stuff like this it kind of makes me appreciate that I don’t have to deal with it, living in the UK. Over here anyone of any age can go to their GP or family planning clinic and get a prescription for the pill or any other contraception and condoms for free (on the NHS) unless there is a medical reason why you shouldn’t. They will usually advise you to tell a parent or trusted adult but if you don’t want to they can’t force you. They are also completely confidential unless they are worried about your health or wellbeing.
    But please, if you do live elsewhere, it’s better to let your parents know now rather than them finding out when you’re pregnant!

  • lilstarryeyedangel

    is it easy for a 12 yr old to get birth control? I dont want my mom finding out. I have started having sex. Plz plz pl I dont want anyone telling me or advising me or judging me. I already have parents who are getting a divorce and huge family probs. I have a nice bf and I dont want him getting into trouble becoz of me age. :(

    • Jill

      I understand you fully. You dont need to tell anyone and you need to do what is best for you. Is your bf older? We have all been there sweety. I had an older bf too and was about the same age as you when I had a pregnancy scare. Fortunately it was just that. Dont worry as long as he treats you well you have nothing to worry. Plz dont let anyone find out because that will cause a lot of problems for him because he is older and you only 12. Seems like you are having a lot of sex. You can get the pill but only after you start your periods and no one needs to know you are taking them. As those other girls have pointed out you will know when you will start your periods from the way you are developing and with pubes appearing and yes that discharge which happens about 6 months before periods start.
      I also think you are too young for the pill. Talk to him. Seems like you get on well with him. Tell hm of your concerns about falling pregnant. I think he will understand. Condoms would be a good idea for the present moment. Has he ever cum inside you?

    • browneyedgurl

      AWWWWWW dont worry sweety. If you dont want anyone to know just dont tell anyone. Your secret is yours and no one else need to know. I agree with most of the other posts. He prolly likes the feeling inside you when he f***s you. You are very young and many guys like that feeling. Look, while you havent started your period yet you are prolly safe but you never know and it would keep your mind at ease to get him to use condoms. I know how you feel about your older bf. I wish society could be more accepting of relationships like yours.

    • missymegan

      So he is older. Like in his 20s?? Dont panic. Thats very alright. I know what it feels like to be with an older guy who loves you.
      Have you turned 12 yet? Have you started your period? Do you think you might be starting your period ( you will know that is going to happen when you start developing pubes, boobs get bigger, hips get more shapey and as someone else said the “white discharge” from your vagina)
      Does he not wear a condom? when he fucks you does he cum inside you? Like when he fucks you does he stay inside you till he has completed squirting inside you or does he pull out and jerks off or makes you suck him till he cums?
      You must be careful if he completes his job with his cock inside you. guys love that. I understand you because I went through that situation when I was 12. The guy was in his late 20s and he loved cumming inside me because I hadnt started my periods. Thankfully I didnt fall pregnant. He was right. If he cums inside you without pulling out that can make you pregnant
      I think it is cool to have an older guy but he needs to be careful not to complete the job inside you when he fucks you. He could get into a lot of trouble if you get pregnant.
      Get him to wear a condom.

      • Disgusted. . .

        A guy in his 20s having sex with a 12 year old is NOT alright.

        • astonished

          try telling that to the 12 yr old having sex with the 20 yr old. You will then send the relationship underground with severe consequences that you can ever imagine. Already, the incidence of chlamydia it seems is being reported frequently in 12 yr old girls. Recent stats prove that. Introducing laws and penalties dont seem to be working too and will never be effective. Where there is a will there is a way. So, what we must do is to educate and teach girls how to be safe and how to take precautions. Crushes, emotions, relationships happen all the time. You cannot dictate with whom and when girls can have relationships with.

  • Julia

    If your insurance is under your parent’s as a “dependent” (aka if u r under 18) and you have insurance cover all/some of it, your parents will find out, just FYI. It would be best to pay for it without insurance if you want to keep it secret.