7 Signs You’re In A Rebound Relationship

Ever heard of the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?” Yeah, it’s a little vulgar, but it’s also a common way people attempt to get over a breakup – by hooking up with someone else. And sometimes they take it even a little further and find themselves in a rebound relationship. 

What is a rebound? To put it simply, it’s basically a distraction to keep a guy or girl from thinking about their recent breakup. If a guy goes into a rebound relationship, he’s looking for a quick way to get over his ex by being with someone else. But what he’s really doing his projecting his feelings about his ex onto a new girl – in a sense, he’s using the new girl.

People who go into rebound relationships don’t go into them with the intention of using someone or hurting someone else. They usually think they’re helping themselves… that’s what makes rebounds so tricky. Have you ever felt like your new BF maybe isn’t over his ex? Do you think you could be a rebound? If you’re suddenly freaking out, here are 7 signs to look out for: 

Do you think you’re in a rebound relationship? Have you ever been in one? Have you ever been the one rebounding? Tell me in the comments.

 

Why are guys SO afraid of commitment?

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18 Comments

  1. avatar sthe says:

    I worry he us not ova his baby mama & thou he goes out if his way to secure me I’m still insecure I want more than his word that hes ova her if it tru. He wnt hv a problem committing with atlist an engagement ring. Am I being ridiculous

  2. avatar Vicky says:

    Is it possible to be a rebound for two years?

    My boyfriend and his ex were only together for like 5 months and she cheated on him with one of his good friends – the relationship ended about 3 months before he got with me. Our relationship moved rather fast- we hooked up the night we met, and he just never left my apartment. He told me he loved me about 2 months after we became official. In the beginning, our relationship was amazing- we had tons of fun together, he would always tell me how I’m the love of his life and he wants to marry me and have kids some day. We have been together for almost 2 years now and after I went out of town for a few weeks to visit family, our relationship has been kind all arguments and I don’t feel close to him anymore. A few days ago, my phone died when I needed to contact one of my friends, and so I asked my boyfriend if I may use his phone- through text and Facebook messenger to try and contact my friend- he had no problem with it and gave me his phone. I forgot to mention that throughout our relationship he had told me that when his ex and him broke up they cut all contact between each other, and that he hasn’t spoken to her since the break up). Well, I found a Facebook message between him and his ex whom he apparently hasn’t spoken to since they broke up. I’ve never been an overly jealous girlfriend not have I ever gone through someone’s phone, in any of my past relationships- however; I couldn’t shake the guy feeling something was very wrong and that I should look at their messages. Turns out- they have been messaging each other ( although remaining not friends with each other on Facebook). the entire time that him and I have been together (around 2 years!) . Their messages ranged from a weird pattern of her telling him her relationship problems with her new man, while he told her fake relationship problems he was having with me, then when he would tell him that her and her new man were doing amazing and how in love they are- he suddenly would tell her that me and him solved our supposed ” problems” and he’s very in love with me and super happy in our relationship, it was like some weird competition of who’s most happy and in love with their new partner. The worst was the latest messages sent around the time I went out of town- he sent her texts asking her to get drunk with him at the beach at night and have sex with him ( he told me he dosnt drink when I try to go out to the bars with him), also texts saying how he misses ” the good times” they used to have and begging her to hang out. She at first wrote back ” don’t you have a girlfriend?” And his response was that I was out of town and he suspected I was cheating on him ( bullshit, I found messages between me and him the same day and he was at the same time writing me telling me how much he loves and misses me), when she felt bad for him and wrote ” that sucks I hope she isn’t!” , he suddenly wrote back right away saying ” I dunno. Some times she acts weird, but she is way too in love with me to ever cheat on me.” Yet, after his inapproiate texts to her, she started flirting back with him too, yet she is still with her man and telling my boyfriend how he is the only guy who gets her and the only person she can stil count on. When I asked him about the messages he first tried lies and excuses saying he did it out of spite cause he thought I was cheating on him, then finally and painfully admitted that he had planned on having sex with his ex while I was out of town ( I was and always have been down to have sex with him whenever he wants), and when I asked why he would do that, he told me even he dosnt understand why he did it or what he was thinking, but that he loves me and it was a huge mistake and he will stop talking to her completely for me to stay with him because he loves me , not her. ( she’s not very attractive and is 19 years old and they are from the same small town, I’m his age- 26 and not to be vain, but many men find me very attractive, and I’m from NYC). I am hurt and do not understand the situation, and he gets almost violently angry if I even mention it again now. He’s weird about his phone now and we have been very distant although we still live together ( now I live at his parents place with him I couldn’t afford the apartment ). Is it possible I have been a rebound for 2 years?!

    • avatar Amanda V says:

      Had the almost exact thing happen but I GOT PREGNANT got married have two kids now getting a divorce because he Beat me but he Was on pain medicine he kinda has some disabilities anyway I always thought I wasn’t good enough for a Normal person And wanted a reason get out of my folks place and he as medically retired I lost my job and quite school because I couldn’t focus because he Was Always there but long story short I met him the day after my break up 2 weeks later ended up dusting Him ended up engaged within 2 months and got Pregnant 1 month after living with Him but fact is Rebound relationships are bad and it’s hard to break the habit…

  3. avatar Anna says:

    I just broke up two days ago.ma boyfriend told me dat he wants to stop pretending he is so into me while he is not into me at all. am just shattered and insecure now

  4. Pingback: Signs You’re In A Rebound Relationship | Kristine Angeles

  5. avatar becky says:

    My case is a little complicated.. I was in a relationship since I was 15(now 21).. It went on for 4 years .. A comitted relationship but the guy turned out into a complete asshole n I broke up after 4 years… Never really got over him n ended up Patching up with my ex after one and a half years ( I know stupid ryt?.. All this only to discover what a scumbag he still was.. Broke me real bad.. But ryt in the middle of all dis ,, a friend of mine feel in love with me.. Hez an amazing guy n helped me a lot to see the truth n hold myself.. Dis was the time when I was coming out of the ‘X’ phase..we started going out when I wasn’t totally over my past… He helped me alot to get out of it.. After more than 2 months,, I realized I was in love with the new guy.. V have been in a committed relationship for 6 months now but my bf finds himself alone in the relationship n feels m not really into him.. Also, I don’t understand him when he really needs it .. and difficult times or fights make me feel tired ( even if its my fault).. But I really love him!
    Are there any chances I am in a rebound?? :( m scared

    • avatar : Amadeus. : Moisl. says:

      DO NOT WORRY SO MUCH, COMMITING YOURSELF TO SOMEONE ELSE IS EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO AND IF IT TURNS OUT THAT BOTH SIDS ARE NOT HAPPY ANYMORE, THEN SAY GOODBYE.
      YOU ARE A SMART PERSON AND YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW LIFE IS WITHOUT YOUR BF… IF IT FEELS LIKE A FIRE THAT IS BURNING NOW THAT WOULD CONTINUE BURNING IN A WAY OF FEELING LONESOME, KEEP ON COMMITING TO THE GUY.
      IF IT FEELS MORE LIKE YOU GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER, BUT ALL YOU ARE NOT COMMITING TOWARDS YORSELF AND EACH OTHERS IS THAT REALLY YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS EXISTENT BY BOREDOM ONLY, GIVE UP THE FIGHT AND END THE RELATIONSHIP. BETTER SOONER THAN LATER.

  6. avatar dawn says:

    ok i have a question.i was in a relationship for 12 yrs and we have 3 kids together.5 mons ago he left and 6 days later he was living with his gf..he changed so much.he bought expensive shoes,colored his hair blue and then green,pierced his ears,bought new clothes and started doing off the wall kind of things.i believe she manipulated him and thats why he left us..he says its over BUT i am getting mixed signals from him..when he visits with our kids he stares and makes eye contact with me and more recently he met our son ata pizza place and asked if i would like to go inside with him.and when i text him and than i have to go he asks WHY???..is this a rebound relation

  7. avatar vangjel kapbardhi says:

    i got dumped on v-day:(

  8. avatar Mel says:

    I guess I’m the odd one out here; I started seeing this guy only a few months after a messy, painful, break-up after an 8 year relationship. Initially I was looking for a distraction of sorts, but definitely not a replacement. The ex left me with a lot of unwarranted self doubt. (I found out he had been cheating on me for our entire 8 year relationship with all kinds of whores…) I joined a dating site, met a few guys, went on a few dates, but nothing serious. Then a little over a month went by, and I met this great guy and there was instant chemistry. He is nothing like my ex, and we have SOO MUCH more in common. My concern now is that I don’t want to inadvertently rush to fill some void left by my ex with my new guy. I genuinely want to give this a shot and not fall back into some pattern that I had previously. Do I just proceed with caution and take things slowly? Do I smack myself, apologize to the new guy and call this off? I don’t want to, but I care enough about the new guy that I don’t want to inadvertently pull him into my psycho world. I am still very angry with my ex. I don’t talk to him, his family or his friends, I don’t stalk him online, but I do still think about it only because I might feel better if I know he’s miserable. I also know that it would hurt me more to find out that he is with someone else already too. . . I do find myself comparing the two of them silently in my head, although it’s usually “ex would have taken forever to do that, awesome!”, or “Wow, new guy gets it, ex never would have”. . . Me & new guy have talked about the future and it isn’t weird at all. Neither one of us are afraid of commitment, although I do keep hitting the brakes, just trying to pace things. Damn our subconscious mind. I am totally falling for this guy, but I just want to be sure that I really am falling and not just eager to fill a hole….

    • avatar Chad says:

      Sounds like you are following your heart and your mind. Don’t regret it at all if you learned from a bad relationship and it led you to a good relationship. Keep pacing yourself and let love naturally happen. And good luck to you!

  9. avatar Steven Nothers says:

    Am i in love or seeking security? loved one woman but she chose security and dumped me big time i have lied and hurt many MY SELF PRESEVATION Of half truths have gained me status in the community but am an empty shell that takes and destroys. because of rebound.

  10. avatar Luzi says:

    Im Sad after read this … If i would have new it, i would not have stay there so long.
    I find myself mirrored in all that is described in my latest relationship.
    I though it was real.
    But considering he was hurt and literally he run out of Au to take some fresh air and away of her ex from 6 years, he said he was not ready for commitment as she wanted and they split, so she got into a guy (despite he say she state to love him the most) and later at some common friends ( more than 40!) reunion she show up her affections to the new guy after splitting since 6 months already, so he felt like dying, and then realise he wanted to leave the country.
    We meet then and after two weeks start something, he supposed to leave after one months, end up staying 7 moths.
    I have never before hear about this rebound relationship… so i end up hearing the same, like ex stories so often, them i get tired of and have to forbid the stories, Only then he start to focus in us.. but every time he came back to AU to face circle of friends and her into her serious boyfriend… he became cold and weird… then comeback to me and trying to enjoy his time abroad, sometimes i felt like he was running aways once more… he was very please to me, and kind, and generous like if at all cost he wanted me to feel supported and loved… It worked good for another 6 months.. then he left again.
    Then last time just came back to say good bye, something happened and change after he attend to the goodbye party of his ex, she move out of city to work in another state side opposite to the country!
    Later days this, all his plans change towards our relationship and he was in urgency to come to say goodbye for ever.
    So after two years, now i find that just one month after we finish he hook up with another girl and tell me straight i should start dating someone to over come him.
    As per i saw she is so looking a like the gal i am, which is not very pleasant to see.
    Surprise…surprise! How things turn out in the end, by finding i was the rebound relationship for him, due now he overcome his ex and is able to be with someone new after me.

  11. avatar Jazz says:

    I’ve recently been set up with and talking to this guy who’s really sweet and all, but he just got out of a long term relationship and it kinda weirded me out at first. Since then, our mutual friends have convinced me their break up had been a long time coming and nobody would be a rebound. We’ve even talked about it and agreed to take it easy because it would be weird with him so fresh out of a relationship… but some of my friends make me feel bad just for hanging out with him and talking to him because they insinuate one or both of us are sluts and I just get really confused about the whole thing :/

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