Is Polyamory The Secret To Having An Awesome Relationship?


Would you be cool with this? | Source: ShutterStock

What’s the secret to being in a successful, happy, loving long-term relationship? New research says it might be polamory, which is a kind of open relationship where partners can be with other people besides just each other. While it may seem like something like that would only harm a relationship, new studies are showing that it might actually be the thing that can make a bond even stronger.

Before I get into this, let me just clear up what polyamory is, because it’s not the same exact thing as an open relationship. In an open relationship, you and your BF would be allowed to casually hook up with other people without it being considered cheating. Polyamory is more about having more than one intimate, close relationship at the same time. It’s about more than just a quick hookup with someone else – it would almost be like having two boyfriends at the same time.

Sounds kind of crazy, right? But before you judge, consider these facts. According to LiveScience, an estimated 4 to 5 percent of Americans are in some sort of open relationship like this. That’s more than I thought!

So why are researchers saying that these kinds of relationships may be better than a traditional monogamous relationship? For one thing, couples who look outside each other for love and hookups and all that good stuff are apparently better at communicating and being honest… which, I mean, obviously. If you’re going to be in this type of relationship, you have to be the sort of person who can be totally open about pretty much everything. Studies also suggest that people in these relationships are really well-educated – they apparently have more master’s and doctoral degrees than the general population.

Here’s my opinion: choosing polyamory and deciding to be an open relationship might work for some people, but I can’t see it working for everyone. Personally, I could never imagine being in an open relationship. I can’t even think about sitting at home knowing that my boyfriend is out with another girl. I can’t imagine giving him the okay to go out and have sex with other people. Call me close-minded, jealous, insecure, whatever… I couldn’t deal with this and I know it. Also? I’m fine with that. I don’t think it makes me close-minded or insecure (although I will admit to being too jealous sometimes). I’m just not a girl who could do something like this.

Honestly, I don’t really see how these open relationships can work too well. While it may be true that these couples are more honest with each other, still – everyone gets a little jealous once in a while. How do you deal with that jealousy when you’ve agreed to be in this type of relationship? And how do you know when too much is too much?

At the same time, I’m never going to judge anyone who does this. I guess this can work if you’re really open to the idea and if you find the right person to do this with. But for me, I’m perfectly happy with being with just my boyfriend. I don’t feel like I need other people outside of my relationship to make it better. I guess it just comes down to your personal opinion.

Would you ever be in an open relationship? Have you ever considered polyamory? Do you think you’re a jealous person? Tell me in the comments.


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  • Kittyinlove

    I kinda like this idea where you have someone but your relationship is open just because I prefer to not be fully serious but my boyfriend is all for a very serious relationship where we don’t even look at someone else of the opposite sex. It’s very frustrating.

  • Megg

    I think it can really work in the cases of “Vicky Christina Barcelona”

  • shelli_k18

    My girlfriend had 3 guys she “dated” before we went out. I’m bi, and been with many guys n girls before, sometimes group things happened. My daddy got married 3 times, practically no time between marriages. I don’t put much belief into the “nuclear family”. I’ve had gf’s who cheated, I’ve cheated, guys have shared me. I am gonna say that polygamy is a great idea, but it has it’s problems too…

    play safe, and don’t let them use you, unless your into that.. grin.