12 Comments

How I Got My Annoying Ex To Leave Me Alone

Tuesday, February 19, 2013 by Caitlin Corsetti

Dealing with a clingy ex is a sensitive situation because you don’t want to hurt their feelings more than you already have by dumping them. Well, I had to be the bad guy once and while it certainly wasn’t fun, it worked.

I told my boyfriend that I needed some space and wanted to take a break for a few months. He was obviously upset. I felt terrible, but he was smothering me. I was honest and told him I felt trapped and just needed to breathe for a while.

I expected not to hear much from him while we were apart for the summer, but I was wrong. Instead, I got regular texts and calls as if nothing had ever happened. That’s not space, bro!

I would take forever to respond or just give really short answers, but he kept on keeping on. His clingy behavior from our relationship seemed magnified during our breakup, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

One day when I felt particularly bothered, I just snapped.

I told him that I wasn’t kidding around and his chances of getting back together with that kind of behavior was absolutely zero. I said I wasn’t playing hard to get and that I did not want to speak to him at all.

Brutal honesty seemed to work in my favor because he listened and left me alone. It was hard telling someone that I cared about that I didn’t want to talk point-blank, but I felt even more smothered during the breakup than I did during our relationship.

I’m not a fan of being mean to exes. But being blunt is a totally different story. And it works just fine. I don’t think there’s a need to say “I hate you and never want to speak to you again,” but saying “I seriously don’t want to communicate at all,” gets your point across.

You can be the bad guy without actually being bad.

Have you ever dealt with a clingy ex? How did you get them to leave you alone? Did it work? Tell me in the comments!
 

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Posted in: Relationships
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  • Brittnee Williams

    I recently just broke up with my boyfriend, about 4 days ago. We were at a party together on the 4th of July and we were having a great time. Of course, I was showing a little more and guys noticed, so he was acting jealous all night.. It was very frustrating and hard to deal with when you’re drunk. Anyway at some point in the party I gave my weed to my friend because she was going to roll it (I had fake nails) and she gave it to her friend, a guy, and he rolled it.

    Right after, the cops showed up and everyone had to go inside. I met my boyfriend in the kitchen and he asked me where I put my weed because he was going to hold it for me. I told him that the guy had it because he’s rolling it. He completely lost his composure then and literally flipped shit. He began screaming this dudes name looking for him and pushing people to find him. When he couldn’t find him he started punching doors and managed to punch through one. He put a hole in one wall as well. While all this was registering in my mind I was trying to calm him down but it was far too late and he wouldn’t calm down for ANYTHING. Several people came up to him and tried to tell him the situation but it was just NOT getting thru to him.. I don’t know if he was too drunk but there really is no excuse.

    I had to push him into another room just to get him to calm down and once he realized that he just ruined our relationship his face went from hulk smash to a puppy? I have never seen someone’s expression change so quickly in my life I was absolutely at a loss for anything. I was embarrassed and angry. At that point he began crying and begging for my forgiveness but I told him that it was too late and that I am completely over him. he was obbing as loud as he could so I had to get tf on and leave. EVERYONE in that party was staring at me as I left.

    But now, were not together and he continues to act like nothing happend. He says that he realized what he did, but what he doesnt realize is that im really done. He keeps texting, calling, all the yards, but I am just not a mean person. So I text back, answer and comfort. I do this because I know what it feels like to be alone in the world without anyone who cares about your situation. I can’t leave him to deal with this alone, but I don’t want to be with him at all. He’s far too jealous and far too clingy for me. Im 18 and hes 22 btw, so it’s very weird that he depends on me so much. I have no clue what to do. Should I be his friend and help him or should I cut him off?

  • Hannah

    Gosh my ex doesn’t leave me alone after 4 months we broke up. I’ve blocked him, snapped at him and nothing works it’s frustrating.

  • melody

    So I broke up with my boyfriend 2 days ago because he was super clingy and i just didnt have those type of feelings for him anymore. He is constantly bugging me, asking why, saying things that make me feel bad about breaking up with him, bugging me in school, he also said i made a ‘retared decision’. And after i blew up on him today he said i was overreacting. He has made me so mad!

  • Doko

    Something similar is happening to me right now, only it was my boyfriend breaking up with me. I accepted it, cause there is no use in continuing a relationship if the other person is not fully commited to it.
    The next day he texts me as if nothing happened. I told him to please not contact me in a while, cause I needed time to get over him – preferably without being reminded of him constantly.

    He left me alone for about a month, and then asked, whether or not we could talk again. I asked him about what. About us. There is no us anymore, I said.
    Appearently he didn’t consider that breaking up with me means breaking up with me, e.g. not getting me back the moment it suits him.

    I told him off (quite consicely, no need to respect his feelings if he doesn’t respect mine), but he keeps pestering me with messages.

    I was being pestered daily with several messages and phone calls, unitl I had to deinstall the programm we were using to communicate from my phone (he lives in another country, so we had to use Viber to make phone calls). I had peace for about 4 days, then the whole shit started on Facebook.

    Told him off again; I wasn’t being nice this time either, even threatened to block him.
    That worked for around one day, then he totally ignored what I said and started again, begging me to give him a chance, to talk to him, telling me how much he regreted breaking up and how much he loved me.

    I blocked him.

    Now I get the messages per mail…It has developed to the point that he wants to marry me and move to my country for me. Someone’s spiraling down in his own misery, I’d say.
    And nothing I do stops his behaviour. After a final, really long and brutal mail, where I told him how happy I am with breaking up and most definetly don’t want to marry him, I’m down to good old ignoring.

    At least the number of mails has dwindeled, but they still come. Right now he is taking time of in another country to build back his selfesteem (which was the reason he broke up with me, btw.), and I’m not sure whether he realized, that this too won’t help with getting me back…

  • Browngirl

    When someone answers you, PLEASE!!! let me know. M situation is worse because we do have a 5 year old daughter, and I’ve been trying to move on for at least 4 years. TRAGEDY, so sad!!!

  • Alicia Prettywreck

    The best thing to do, is to work out, and get strong. A healthy body, leads to a healthy mind. You are less likely to get trapped into the same old bullshit again! Stay STrong Sisters!

  • kamil

    well my bestie is dealing with a similar problem..actually she was in a relationship for more than two years but she realized that their ‘thing’ was going nowhere…so she decided to tell him to break up..initially he accepted it but after a couple of days he strted texting her…calling her…he didn’t seem to get it…he started being very very annoying..actually he started acting like a psycho..he said very bad things to her and he even threatened her…she did everything to convince him that it is over but he refuses to understand it…WE DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO…anny suggestions?

    • plastikitten

      This happened to me with an ex (threatening & many many texts, calls, etc.) I contacted the police and he was eventually (after being warned by the cops and then contacting me through his friend) charged with criminal harassment.

      Hope your friend has found closure.

  • savana

    okay, i have a very clingy ex he texts me:
    -when he wakes up
    -during school
    -after school
    -durning the day
    -and befor he goes to bed
    and i seriously just broke up with him yesterday, i cant rlly “get away” from him easily… i was with my cousin and he kept texting me so:
    -she took my phone
    -called him
    – and said: hey um…savana is getting rlly pissed off so stop talking to her
    i couldnt hear with what he responded to but i think he started crying
    #1 bc i wouldnt give him another chance
    #2 bc now he knows i dont wanna talk to him
    #3 my cousin blew uo on him XD
    it was funny at first but now i feel guilt
    he always said:
    -i was the only thing keeping him alive
    -i was his only friend
    -i was his “true love”
    now 8 months befor that we lost communication
    and one morning he calls me saying:
    -hey babe i miss you!
    and of course i didnt want to be mean so i played along for a few weeks but then i felt guilty, i felt smuthered…
    i think i did the right thing
    my mother, sister, & friends are all happy tht im not dealing with his bullshit anymore but idk ._. i feel horrible but i also feel like a weight was lifted from my shoulders…

  • C

    You told him you wanted a ‘break’, which implies that you may get back together. If you didn’t want to talk to him at ALL, you should have just broken up in the first place. Obviously.

  • bubble_pie

    my ex broke up with me…. but acts like nothing ever happened!!! i still want to be friends but, seriously dude? i thought you wanted me to be gone from your life! HE STILL WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIES AND THE MALL!! its like we are still in a relationship.

    • Kelly

      He probably just wants your frienship…