7 Ways To Deal With Your Boyfriend’s Family

When I was a kid, I was constantly hearing from my parents and every other adult about how annoying in-laws were. I always thought, what could be so bad about your significant other’s family? I wondered, could they really be that annoying? I was very skeptical of this, for some reason. I couldn’t wait to meet a guy and get a second family of my own. It sounded great!

These naive feelings lasted until I started dating a guy who had one of the most annoying families ever. Suddenly, I understood why everyone complained about their in-laws. It’s one thing to be stuck with your own sometimes annoying family, but it’s an entirely different thing to be stuck with a family that you don’t even have to be stuck to. At least your family is flesh and blood! 

Okay, so not every other family is annoying. I’m sure there are plenty of in-laws or soon-to-be in-laws out there who are perfectly lovely. But if you’re dating someone who happens to have the kind of family members that make you bite your tongue, there is help. Here are some tips on how to deal with your boyfriend’s family, from the pain in the butt little brother to the over-protective mom:

In the end, keep this in mind: you really can’t change your boyfriend’s family. They are who they are! The best thing you can do is learn how to deal with them and accept that they might sometimes annoy you. Remember: you’re dating your boyfriend, not his family. If he’s worth it, then that’s all that matters.

Have you ever had to deal with a boyfriend’s annoying family? How did you do it? What kind of family members did I miss? Tell me in the comments.

 

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14 Comments

  1. avatarBrittany R. says:

    i don’t know if my problem applies.. i’ve been with my boy for 5 years. Ever relationship has their roller coaster tragedies. i just happen to stay on this ride.. his family was cool but then.. i guess I say stupid things.. or they just naturally don’t like me.. but every time i see one of his family members they ignore me, his brother and sisters turn their heads. even when i say hi. Its making me want to end it with my boyfriend. Cause he tells me its just them being shy or themselves.. but how would you feel if you were constantly ignored? i obviously am not liked.

  2. avatarMpumi says:

    I m dating this wonderful man he introduced me to he’s parents at first everything was fine than things changes when time goes by so now they hate i cnt even go to visit them i dnt knw what to do to fix things

  3. avatarSiobhan says:

    Hey, I had to leave a comment to know if I’m still a normal person! I’ve been living with my bf and his mum and her two twin teenagers for almost 4 years now and I think I’ve hit the point were I’m so over there crap, I’m 19 and I feel like I’m stuck with this family forever I just can’t seem to pack my bags and move out? His mum is a “nutter” like I’ve never meet someone like her in my life she drinks and smokes all the time is never happy and treats her son my bf like her husbnd or something it never use to bother me and I’ve tryed to like her but I just can’t its impossible she’s always talking about my bf and it’s like I don’t care! She’s crazy she’s an abusive mother to her kids and they all think its fine because that’s there life I can never change them or him but I really don’t know what to do or how to leave I’m not the happy person I use to be :/

  4. avatarnazlene says:

    I don’t like my bf Mother she always had a problem with me even I do my best to keep them all happy but no more its like she jelous of me and don’t want me for her son ,me and my bf have one kid and is almost 8years In This relationship. But still me and his family will never have peace she always want to see me unhappy and fighting with my bf about her she don’t even treat our child like a grand child she just worry about her other grand children

  5. avatarNathaly says:

    The grandma! She always wants the best for her grandchildren n apparently I’m not what she wanted for him..! What I do? I walk away bit is so annoying..!!

  6. avatarChristina says:

    Rachel, I definitely have a very similar situation that you have. My only problem is that I got kicked out of my moms house because I did not get along with her boyfriend, and my boyfriend and his family allowed me move in with them because I have no where else to go. I know they have a good side to them because they were nice enough to open their home to me when I had no where else to go, but after living here for almost a year and a half, things have gotten very bad. My boyfriend’s oldest brother lives next door in an apartment with his fiance, and for some reason he absolutely hates me. Although he has never come out and said anything to me or my boyfriend about it, you can just tell. He walks into the room and says hi to everyone but me and even on my birthday when we were all over here celebrating (including his fiance), he chose to stay home and not even acknowledge me. This kills me because all I want is a good relationship with every one, and I don’t know what I did wrong to deserve this. I have spent countless nights crying and talking to my boyfriend about this because all I want to do is b accepted. Also my boyfriend’s mother is very annoying. My boyfriend is 21 years old and she still questions us about where we are going all the time. We can’t even go to the store without getting questioned about every single thing. She also will not let me do my own laundry, and she comes in our room at 5 in the morning to look for clothes to wash. She repeatedly shrinks and ruins my clothes every time she washes them. She will also make our bed for us even though I am capable of doing it myself, and she gets mad when she cooks dinner and my boyfriend and I want to go out for dinner. We also have an exchange student (THAT SHE PICKED OUT) and everywhere my boyfriend and I go, she always invites him to go with us without even asking us first, when all we want is alone time together since we are constantly burdened by her and everyone else. I really don’t know what to do because it isn’t my place to say anything to his mother and I am afraid that it will start a war if I do, and I have no where to live and don’t want to be away from my boyfriend. I work and go to college full time, I am doing everything I have to do to be a good person. I would give the shirt off my back for someone if they really needed it and it just kills me because I feel like no matter what I do I will never be good for his family. Also, my boyfriend loves me very much, but he has a hard time saying anything to his family about me, as I assume he doesn’t want to have to deal with a war being started as well because they are the type of people to get very defensive if you were to bring something up to them. My boyfriend’s mother and brother are also teachers and they gossip abo everyone and everything. His mom cannot keep a secret to save her life and will tell anyone anything just to have something to talk about, which makes me very insecure because I always wonder what they say about me all the time. Sorry for this comment being so long, but I have been dealing with this for a very long time and I am very sick and tired of it so if anyone has any advice for me please let me know thank you.

    • avatarfolashade says:

      You sound like a relly nice person and i really feel for you. I can understand you love your boyfriend and it would be nice if hes family just acccepts you. I think hes family has already accepted you if not, they wouldnt let you live in their house, hes mum wont want to wash your cloths if she doesnt like you. Remember your boyfriend is still hes mum’s son and he still lives with his mum. Better still, you guys should get your own apartment as you are both old enough. I think thats just the way your boyfriends mum and brother is and you have to accept that. Your boyfriends brother probably treats you that way because he feels his brothers girlfriend shouldnt be living in the same roof with him and his mum for one reason or the other. why dont you guys get your own apartment.

  7. avatarStephanie says:

    Oh god my boyfriends mom hate me. She ignores me when I try to wave at her and turns her back to me. She also sends some rude comments about me to her son when we are together and I’ve read the texts by accident and just burst into tears. I don’t know how to deal with this lady, I’m polite and nice every time I see her because I don’t want to give her a reason to actually hate me but it’s getting to the point where I just don’t even want to look at her. The rest his family loves me.

  8. avatarRachel says:

    My boyfriends family constantly talk trash about people and too each other. They have done some nice things for me in the past, but nothing to go really out of their way to make me feel welcome and at ease. It drives me a little crazy sometimes because I would like to have a good relationship with my boyfriends family. Its hard for me because sometimes I over obsess about it. But I realise, they are going to be the way that they are, rude, and immature, liers, and bullies. They have their good sides of course, but I feel like I dont see it enough. And I would like some respect. But life is not perfect, and this is something that I am going to have to learn to deal with. Bummer. But hey, I have a great boyfriend.

  9. avatarKaty says:

    O my god my boys sister is such a bitch! We have been dating for two years and i just drove off from his house pissed off because he basically told me to get over it!! So fresturating when you just wanna be with someone but don’t want to be in such a hostile enviroment and the one closest to you doesnt understand that so it makes it so hard to be with him! My family is psycho enough i cant deal with his family too…HELP ME.

  10. avatarthamilish says:

    i luv my bf s parents dey treat mi wel…nd also my bf really do luv mi

  11. avatarKaisha says:

    I absolutely hate my partner’s family. In the beginning there were all smiles n I w asha s too naive to see past their grins. Vile people they are, hmph hateful. His mother is worst than any evil stepmother in fairytales

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