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If you have the kind of parents who set a lot of rules and are basically just super strict about everything from grades to boys to friends, trust me when I say that I feel your pain. I love my parents to death and owe them everything, but when I was in high school, they made my life incredibly frustrating by being ridiculously strict.
My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. F’s? Forget about it. This was manageable. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. Fine, whatever. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. Actually, they hated them. This made things difficult, to say the least.
For one thing, I was never allowed to go to anyone’s house unless my mom called to talk to their parents first. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was humiliating. My mom would call my friend’s parents to check up on me to see if I was really going there or to see what we were doing.
The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense? One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. Trying to avoid the situation, I lied and said I didn’t have her number – so instead, she dropped me off and wouldn’t let me out of the car until she spoke to them. That was when L had to awkwardly explain to my mom that her parents couldn’t talk because they were taking a bath… together. I was never allowed to go over there again. Seriously.
Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock
I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful. Moving on to their attempt at ruining my first real relationship.
When I was 15-years-old, I started dating a guy we’ll call D. D and I got very serious very quickly and my parents didn’t like it. They didn’t approve of D, who was your typical insufferable emo teenager (my mom wanted me to date the blonde, tall, good-looking captain of the football team. No, this is not a movie – just my sad life).
D and I were obsessed with each other, but my parents weren’t having it. They quickly made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to see D during the week, only on the weekends… and even then, they’d find an excuse. Since we couldn’t hang out together Monday-Thursday, D and I would talk on the phone for all hours of the night. We literally used to fall asleep on the phone together. This was, for some reason, my parent’s worst nightmare. Even though it didn’t affect them in the slightest bit, they decided it had to stop.
So, what did they do? Oh, what any rational parent would do – collect all of the house phones (this was before all teens had cell phones) and hide them in their room, obviously. Guys, they would literally disconnect our phone connection every single night and hold all of the phones hostage so I couldn’t use them.
Many more things like this happened. There were points of my high school life where I literally wasn’t allowed to do anything. My parents and I fought on a regular basis, which I don’t even think needs to be said.
We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock
So, is there a happy ending to this story? Thankfully, yes. At some point during my senior year, my parents realized how completely insane they were being, took a chill pill and relaxed. They got to know my boyfriend and actually started to really like him. They started to accept my friends and realized they probably shouldn’t keep me away from them. My 11 PM curfew disappeared, replaced with… no curfew. I know, it was a dramatic turn.
The worst part about all of this? Okay, there are two worst parts. One: I was never even a bad kid. For real. When considering the other things most high school kids do and go through, my parents should have been on their knees thanking me for being the daughter I was. I got good grades, I never once got detention in my entire life, I had a part-time job all through high school, I never did drugs, I very rarely drank, I was in all sorts of after school activities… I mean, I was even voted Most Shy in high school, for crying out loud!
Sure, I did a few bad things because everyone makes mistakes, but for the most part, I was a great kid. It actually hurt my feelings that my parents were so suspicious of my very move, enough to feel the need to restrict me from doing anything. I worked my butt off to impress them and to do the right thing and it was never acknowledged. It was the worst. I get that they love me and just wanted what was best for me, and I appreciate their intentions… I just wish they had gone about it a different way.
The second worst thing? I have a younger brother and sister and guess what? They have literally always been allowed to do everything they want – and both of them are harder to handle than I was.
If you have parents similar to mine, the only thing I can say to you is this: it gets better. Usually. I mean, maybe not for everyone. But for most people, it does. My advice? Try your hardest not to rebel. Try to reason with them in the most rational way that you can. In the worst case scenario (like mine), you just have to wait it out. Hopefully, your parents will eventually realize that they can trust you… and then they’ll apologize. Hey, it happened to me!
Are your parents strict? Have they ever embarrassed you in front of your friends or boyfriend? What rules do they give you? Tell me in the comments!
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My mom is so strict. She watches me like a hawk and she asks me so any questions. Sometimes i feel I need to run away from home because I hate the way she treats me. Just because I am in grade 7 doesnt make me a kid!! Shes restricted the amount of phone I can use and wont let me use FB and stuff. I dunno why she is like that. I use the comp when I am at my friends place. Her older brother is such a cutie and he knows I have a crush on him. I wish I could be with him all the time. We have been really close and we been doing stuff. I hate to think what my mom would do if she found out. I hate my mom !
You think they may have been tough on you, but I think they do this because they care. They don’t want you to get into situations that may have a bad result for you. I don’t think that’s bad. There are parents who let their children do anything they want, and those children don’t behave well as a result. Everyone needs at least some rules in their lives, or else they’re not truly free.
I never experienced sleepovers. Going to the beach with my friends? I have to tell them a week before so I can beg. I don’t even bother to ask them anymore because I know they won’t agree. I never had a “real” boyfriend. I’m having some sort of thing with a guy right now and they’ll probably kill me if they found out. They nearly did the first time.
i snuck out one night and now im on lock down no school trips no church and no staying anywhere my parents are that bad
Wow! And i thought my parents were bad!!!
I’m not allowed to go out after school with my friends, because I am forced to do all my homework and music practice straight after school, and then when I’ve finished it’s ‘too late’
My parents also, whenever I’m going to a friends house asks hundreds of questions “What’s her name? Who’s going? Does she try hard at school? Is there going to be boys? Will her brother/sister be in? Will her parents be in? What will you eat? When will you leave? When will you be home? How are you getting there? Can I talk to her parents?” It really, really annoys me that mum INSISTS on talking to their parents..when she knows all my friends are sensible and have nice families etc.
I’m not allowed out after dark,and I have to keep in touch. So tell her when I’m on the bus etc.
though I thought this was bad,others seem to have it MUCH worse–so I’m quite thankful in a way.
this article literally described my life. except she has more freedom. i never go out -_- NEVER. not even to my friends houses that my parents know. absolutely no body. the only place im allowed to go by myself is home and back. its unfair and i hate it. im a good kid. i dont get into trouble, i try my hardest (even though my grades have slipped since getting into high school). i honestly hope my life gets better because if it doesnt, im going to have to move out early. im not even allowed to get a job! wtf?? its embarrassing. my friends dont even ask to hang out with me anymore because they know what my parents would say. it hurts my feelings that they dont trust me. i cant wait to live on my own.
i meant school and back. :T ive never even slept over at a friends house because im not allowed
If I ask my mum to go round a friend’s house this is basically the response I get:
“Who’s this friend? How old is she? Will her parents be there? Will other girls be there? Will there be boys there? What time will you eat? When would you be going to bed? What’s her home number? I’m calling her parents.”
Sigh. It’s worse if it’s my gay friend. She thinks I’ll be influenced by him, which is kinda awkward since I’m bi so when I come out she’ll think it’s his fault… :-S I hope it’ll get better.
Ladies,my parents are the same, my mom doesn’t trust me AT ALL she took away all my electronics (phone, computer etc) for just being “not ready” for a stupid oral recitation for English in which my teacher emailed my mom which she got even more mad at me, plus a couple weeks ago my dad punched me for no reason at all and he left a bruise (he’s a body builder anyway) this has been happening for over 3 years and I’m sick of it, I chat with this really nice and sweet guy on this app called kik and he goes through the SAME exact things as I do and we really connect it’s like the while world disappears when I talk to him and vise versa he’s really sweet and amazing and I call him baby to make him feel wanted in the world because he tells me how his parents treat him and how he doesn’t have any friends and pretty much to him I’m his only friend, he makes me feel good about myself even though my mom brings down my self esteem she told me n exact words “are Fs gonna get ū anywhere?? Huh in about 4 years yOur gonna b an adult and living under a tree if u don’t get your Act together ,your gonna b working at McDonald’s. and your collage friends are gonna walk in and be like hannah ??you work
here???” She brings down myself esteem and doesn’t understand whaT my school is like
, I go to a charter school that consists of collage level education and I’m only in 7th grade my subjecTs consist of English,Spanish,physics,biology,chemistry,Algebra ,rhetoric,and AP world history and my history teacher assigns us 8pages front and back of notes that WE have to write down ourselves a NIGHT and assigns us a test every week about that chapter and everyday I have homework in every class….can u help me understand or relate??!!
Oh lord , my parent arent that strict they just care about school . and to lose my virginity
You just summed up my life in that…well mostly.
my curfew is 8pm
Not allowed to watch anything above rated G
Not allowed to listen to anything except for Christian music
Not allowed to hang out with anybody from the LGBT community (it’s funny cause I’m bi…..they don’t know it though)
Not allowed to go anywhere that’s not somehow related to church
And if I want to go to someone’s house or hang out with them somewhere, the parents have to talk first.
Not allowed to have facebook until I am 18
Not allowed to be on forums, virtual worlds or anything like that (I’m sneaking this, just like everything else I do)
I once asked if I could go to church with my boyfriend, they said no
I once asked if I could join archery, they said no
I’m not allowed to play video games
Not allowed to go on a walk, which is also funny considering that I live in the country
They are very reluctant to letting me do after school activities
I have TONS chores to do. Feed the animals, clean my room, dishes, laundry, lawn, clean bathrooms, etc…. I feel like a maid
I’m not allowed to hang out with guys, and with girls they’re still pretty hesitant
I’m not allowed to eat caffeinated foods or any food that has sugar
I have two cats, but are not allowed to pet them or play with them
Not allowed to be in my room alone for long periods of time
Not allowed to wear jeans on Sunday morning service for church
Omg, I feel like I have to ask to even use the bathroom!!! It’s soo embarrassing!
One time I was with some of my friends from church and they asked me if I wanted a Pepsi, I had to say no because I’m not allowed. God, I ‘m not even allowed to watch Spongebob! I’m am almost 16, I need room to breathe! I tried talking to them countless of times! But nothing works! You may say that it’ll get better, but that’s just a lie. Sorry, I know that was mean but it true.
I have sneak to anything I want to do! If I want a snack after I get done with school, I have tip-toe into the pantry and take one thing. They, litterly count how much food we have!!! I’ve snuck out of the house plenty of times. They’ve turned my into some sneaky girl who knows how to rob a bank and get away with murder (not that hard as some of y’all might think). And no, I haven’t done any of THAT stuff.
I guess the main reason why I rebel is to get her attention like saying “Hello! Your strategies are NOT working here! See? Look, I just smoked a joint! How about THAT!”
I just realized how long this is…sorry, I’ll stop now
ohymygosh that really sucks youre parents are insane.
tell them how depressed you are becuase of them and make a huge scene, thats what i would do
have parents like that and trust me, they CAN NEVER back off
I went through the same things mentioned in the article, my parents never backed off, especially my mom. I was even going through depression and self harm and they thought it was for attention and made jokes about it. I am the youngest of my siblings. I got sick of everything with them that i got into drugs. And eventually my depression lead me to develop an eating disorder, so now i am anorexic as well.
I know it sounds dramatic, but yeah that’s my story. I am 20 years old now and still struggling.
omg i understand everything this article made me feel better that im not going through this alone thank you so much for the advice
My parents are pretty strict and stuff. My mom even still calls hanging out with my friends a playdate! It’s so embarrassing!! But I did dance for 10 years and I even went to state, but I got 1 B on my report card ( It was a high B too!! An 89.2%) And I have never done dance since. I was so disappointed, but my mom has to know the parents before she lets me out, but that has slowly died down over the years so it’s good…
My parents are evil. I don’t even have a boyfriend. And all my friends are straight-A students. I usually get As too. I don’t drink, smoke or even hang out past 7pm (when I’m allowed to). My parents don’t let me go on girl’s day out or sleep overs. I can’t wait to leave them and live independently.
My brother is a terribly irresponsible person and they don’t even care about him going wherever he likes.
YES OMG YOU JUST DESCRIBED MY PARENTS EXACTLY!!! They’re gotten to the point now where Bs aren’t accepted, and if I get one, my extra-curricular COMMITMENTS are cut off. Because I got ONE B on my report card a few weeks ago, I’m now not allowed to listen to music when I do my homework (which is something I need in order to help me focus, long story). I have to ask my parents to go outside for 5 minutes to take a break. I’ve been approached by 5 teachers in the last two days to join the badminton team (I’m really good and they need a few more girls) and to all 5 of them I had to tell them no, because I’m not allowed. Ugh. Super embarrassing! I hope it gets better soon!
i have to ask to do ANYTHINGGG..but its getting better. i cant hang with my boyfriend on school days but hey atleast i get to see him period