Hey, Everyone With Super Strict Parents: It Gets Better (Usually)

If you have the kind of parents who set a lot of rules and are basically just super strict about everything from grades to boys to friends, trust me when I say that I feel your pain. I love my parents to death and owe them everything, but when I was in high school, they made my life incredibly frustrating by being ridiculously strict.

My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. F’s? Forget about it. This was manageable. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. Fine, whatever. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. Actually, they hated them. This made things difficult, to say the least.

For one thing, I was never allowed to go to anyone’s house unless my mom called to talk to their parents first. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was humiliating. My mom would call my friend’s parents to check up on me to see if I was really going there or to see what we were doing.

The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense? One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. Trying to avoid the situation, I lied and said I didn’t have her number – so instead, she dropped me off and wouldn’t let me out of the car until she spoke to them. That was when L had to awkwardly explain to my mom that her parents couldn’t talk because they were taking a bath… together. I was never allowed to go over there again. Seriously.

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful. Moving on to their attempt at ruining my first real relationship.

When I was 15-years-old, I started dating a guy we’ll call D. D and I got very serious very quickly and my parents didn’t like it. They didn’t approve of D, who was your typical insufferable emo teenager (my mom wanted me to date the blonde, tall, good-looking captain of the football team. No, this is not a movie – just my sad life).

D and I were obsessed with each other, but my parents weren’t having it. They quickly made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to see D during the week, only on the weekends… and even then, they’d find an excuse. Since we couldn’t hang out together Monday-Thursday, D and I would talk on the phone for all hours of the night. We literally used to fall asleep on the phone together. This was, for some reason, my parent’s worst nightmare. Even though it didn’t affect them in the slightest bit, they decided it had to stop.

So, what did they do? Oh, what any rational parent would do – collect all of the house phones (this was before all teens had cell phones) and hide them in their room, obviously. Guys, they would literally disconnect our phone connection every single night and hold all of the phones hostage so I couldn’t use them.

Many more things like this happened. There were points of my high school life where I literally wasn’t allowed to do anything. My parents and I fought on a regular basis, which I don’t even think needs to be said.

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

So, is there a happy ending to this story? Thankfully, yes. At some point during my senior year, my parents realized how completely insane they were being, took a chill pill and relaxed. They got to know my boyfriend and actually started to really like him. They started to accept my friends and realized they probably shouldn’t keep me away from them. My 11 PM curfew disappeared, replaced with… no curfew. I know, it was a dramatic turn.

The worst part about all of this? Okay, there are two worst parts. One: I was never even a bad kid. For real. When considering the other things most high school kids do and go through, my parents should have been on their knees thanking me for being the daughter I was. I got good grades, I never once got detention in my entire life, I had a part-time job all through high school, I never did drugs, I very rarely drank, I was in all sorts of after school activities… I mean, I was even voted Most Shy in high school, for crying out loud!

Sure, I did a few bad things because everyone makes mistakes, but for the most part, I was a great kid. It actually hurt my feelings that my parents were so suspicious of my very move, enough to feel the need to restrict me from doing anything. I worked my butt off to impress them and to do the right thing and it was never acknowledged. It was the worst. I get that they love me and just wanted what was best for me, and I appreciate their intentions… I just wish they had gone about it a different way.

The second worst thing? I have a younger brother and sister and guess what? They have literally always been allowed to do everything they want – and both of them are harder to handle than I was.

If you have parents similar to mine, the only thing I can say to you is this: it gets better. Usually. I mean, maybe not for everyone. But for most people, it does. My advice? Try your hardest not to rebel. Try to reason with them in the most rational way that you can. In the worst case scenario (like mine), you just have to wait it out. Hopefully, your parents will eventually realize that they can trust you… and then they’ll apologize. Hey, it happened to me!

Are your parents strict? Have they ever embarrassed you in front of your friends or boyfriend? What rules do they give you? Tell me in the comments!

 

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Posted in: Confessions
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83 Comments

  1. avatar Kaliyahxoxo says:

    Well my mom is stricter than my dad. My dad lets me do more stuff than my mom so I understand how that feels when your parent or parents are strict.

  2. avatar kelsi says:

    My parents will never admit they were wrong. Right now, I’m a junior and I have a boyfriend. He is attractive but not the quarterback my mom wants me to date. They have not given him a real chance, besides meeting him once. ONCE. He has come over like 3 times, with my mom there. And she said he was apparently cocky. But she just finds reasons to not like him because she doesn’t want me to date. This is actually my first real relationship, amd it is ruining. HELP ME

  3. avatar ................. says:

    I am never aloud out fair enough on school nights but Fridays and weekends are off limits to .Even if i ask a week in advance to sleep at a friends they say yes at first but the night before they’ll magically change their mind every Friday i look after my cousin by the way shes 13 and i am 14 Saturdays i look after my brother Saturday nights cant sleep over friends as the next day is Sunday, supposedly family day we don’t go any where we just sit in the house and do nothing.But the worst part is my parents are constantly working so don’t have time to have a proper conversation and if we do it usually ends up in an argument .Because of all this me and my closest friend are growing apart since we rarely go out or meet up she starting to only talk to me at school and people think i am some sort of weirdo because i never go out they think i have barley any friends outside of school when really i do .

  4. avatar Folashade says:

    So my life is like this but so much worse. My parents never used to be this strict before. I mean I know i was not allowed out without my parents there when I was younger and also because I am girl and its dangerous out there so I understood DURING THAT TIME!! But now I am 19 going 20 in November 2014 and my parents are even more strict especially my dad. I am currently working as an apprentice and going to uni on Saturdays part time. I am tires as I have always done everything good which is never recognized anyway. I know yes I argue with them and I lie about things coz if I tell them they truth they will blow the bloody roof so it does not make any difference. My work finish at 5:30 but sometimes I dont want to go home as all i do is either watch TV, sleep or stare at my room walls. All my dad talk about is negative stuff like being raped and murdered. I was not enough allowed to go to prom at secondary school or 6th form like wtf. He said that a boy could put something in my drink and rape even though I told him there will be security. I am fed up of this shit. What worse is that my mom took my bank card from me as she said as I was over spedning my money when I was not so I fought and fought for my card and now my step dont want to talk to me as she says that am trying to say that she stole my money (yes she is my step mom my real mom and my dad dnt get along~)

    My dad asked me to move out on the day my apprenticeship finishes but it didn’t happen as I ask for forgiveness (coz I dont have a permanent job and because of my dad’s scary raping comments I even too scared to have my own place in case God forbid someones rapes me. I have been depressed since the age of 16. I lost alot of weight and now its very difficult for me to get it back as I am not happy at all.

    I have no friends as they say that my parents have issues and I cant go out. Even when I had to perform an offsite work in Aberdeen my dad said no that Aberdeen is an isolated place and i could get raped. He is needs fucking leave alone as I am tired. I think my Dad has got issues. No 1 I have never told any one this but when I was 12/13 my dad used to come into my room and touch my breast and bum and I hated it and I told my step mom and she says am lying since then I have rebelled secretly inside I just one day want to kill both at times as I dont fell love I feel stressed out.

    Everyone my age are not as responsible as I am at the age of 19. I cant do anything without my dad asking for emails and phone calls even if there is one he doesn’t want to know. Its really frustrating. I thought everything will change but no it has not. Do you know my parents lock their room door and kitchen door just because my mom said someone stole a chicken from the pot when we wouldn’t do that knowing our situation will get worse? Ia understand yes my younger brothers steal food like ribena and all of that coz we always eat the same food (before we started voluntary word) and since that time they have been locking the kitchen door and their room(- just because we decided to watch the TV coz we were bored).

    As I said. I am tired. I am going to continue to rebel and rebel from now on until I have enough money to move out coz this situation will not change. Me and my brothers tried talking to my dad but all he does is shout about all the bad we have done since the day we were born. They say we do not change but how is that possible when you are not letting us? and also if we do something good they dont acknowledge it one bit. I got good grades at GCSE but failed my A levels as I suffer from depression and social anxiety. I always think every man that talk to me is a rapist or murderer.

    When the time gets dark I start running for my house as I become scared that someone will kidnap me.

    Gosh guys. I am only allowed to work, church and shopping and any errands they want me to go to.

    I am so tired guys. I normally put myself to sleep just to pass the time(which i always do all the time since the age of 16 and am nearly 20 (in November and now its September).

    I am not allowed makeup until I am in my final year of uni. Yh right I am still wearing it to work when my parents are not around (my brothers dont say anything).

    May God help me but I will stop being a good child as I see it only gets worse. I think my dad is crazy sexually sometimes I hear sex noise coming from his table (yes porn). My dad is 57 and mom is 56.

    I cant wait till a job offer come even then I might be too scared to even leave as my dad said I wont be able to survive it cause of the economic crisis and he says if anyone of us leaves that we should not come back that he will come and visit us and he also says he is not looking for any child to look after him when he is old as he says he knows we all want to leave. UR DAMN FUCKING RIGHT WE DO!!!

    Also he says if we do not take care of our family cemetery when he is gone that nothing good will come our way that he will torture us (yes I am a Nigerian from the Yoruba traditional and the JUJU ways is till being used in 2014) so if my dad says a curse now, it will surely happen thats why i am trapped. My aunties and uncles are leaving a sad life coz of this one of my aunty is mad (she was a mayor of London before).

    This has terrified me so guys you guys have life better off than me as i see that there is no way out for me. Yes my dad is catholic but my family still believe in the old JUJU traditional ways (as I was born in a shrine- yes like in the Nigerian movies) I am not joking.

    Good night guys I need to pack up and leave work now as I dont want to be late reaching home in case I get told off (I have to be home by 7:15 I finish work at 5:30 I have four minutes left to pack up).

    You guys pray for me:(

  5. avatar JADELIPPYlips says:

    I soo can relate its like they jus want to mess me up loads all the time I do everythin always wrong in ther eyes laze and dad thinks I am a dirty lapper or worse he sed lk I was all dressed to go out and jus b4 I got to the door he yelled get bak up stairs and dress properly lk I was a prozzie or something yet he pervs on the nieghbore which hne fancies and mum jus dnt realise it and baks him up soo I end up losin everytime its so upsettin rlly I think their so unfair

  6. avatar Janice says:

    Wow I can relate to this so much. I am a 14 year old girl and because of my parents be strict and over protective I am facing with depression and I have social anxiety. Is that normal? I don’t know. I love them… I really do, but everytime I get the courage to even ask to go over to a friends house, they start screaming and ranting about how I could get raped or brutally murdered if I go. And I’m scared to even ask them anymore. I don’t think I’m a bad child. I get A’s and B’s, I listen to them, I follower their rules, and I stay on the sidelines, I never date, I don’t go to parties, I just stay home and watch tv and that’s fine, but I am compared I am judged I get the “why did I ever give birth to you if you can’t do anything?” and I hate it. I don’t know if I’m over thinking this, when ever I tell my friends they just brush it off and I feel alone. My parents won’t even let me go to collage, my brother constantly reminds me how useless I am, my families no different either. I cannot wait to get out of here.

    • avatar dalliya sanjai says:

      hey i can totally relate i cant wait to move out either my mom naggs alot and my brother who is 25 gets all the special treatment. im 14 and get treated like im 8 i cant wait to leave uhhh

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