Hey, Everyone With Super Strict Parents: It Gets Better (Usually)

If you have the kind of parents who set a lot of rules and are basically just super strict about everything from grades to boys to friends, trust me when I say that I feel your pain. I love my parents to death and owe them everything, but when I was in high school, they made my life incredibly frustrating by being ridiculously strict.

My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. F’s? Forget about it. This was manageable. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. Fine, whatever. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. Actually, they hated them. This made things difficult, to say the least.

For one thing, I was never allowed to go to anyone’s house unless my mom called to talk to their parents first. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was humiliating. My mom would call my friend’s parents to check up on me to see if I was really going there or to see what we were doing.

The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense? One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. Trying to avoid the situation, I lied and said I didn’t have her number – so instead, she dropped me off and wouldn’t let me out of the car until she spoke to them. That was when L had to awkwardly explain to my mom that her parents couldn’t talk because they were taking a bath… together. I was never allowed to go over there again. Seriously.

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful. Moving on to their attempt at ruining my first real relationship.

When I was 15-years-old, I started dating a guy we’ll call D. D and I got very serious very quickly and my parents didn’t like it. They didn’t approve of D, who was your typical insufferable emo teenager (my mom wanted me to date the blonde, tall, good-looking captain of the football team. No, this is not a movie – just my sad life).

D and I were obsessed with each other, but my parents weren’t having it. They quickly made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to see D during the week, only on the weekends… and even then, they’d find an excuse. Since we couldn’t hang out together Monday-Thursday, D and I would talk on the phone for all hours of the night. We literally used to fall asleep on the phone together. This was, for some reason, my parent’s worst nightmare. Even though it didn’t affect them in the slightest bit, they decided it had to stop.

So, what did they do? Oh, what any rational parent would do – collect all of the house phones (this was before all teens had cell phones) and hide them in their room, obviously. Guys, they would literally disconnect our phone connection every single night and hold all of the phones hostage so I couldn’t use them.

Many more things like this happened. There were points of my high school life where I literally wasn’t allowed to do anything. My parents and I fought on a regular basis, which I don’t even think needs to be said.

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

So, is there a happy ending to this story? Thankfully, yes. At some point during my senior year, my parents realized how completely insane they were being, took a chill pill and relaxed. They got to know my boyfriend and actually started to really like him. They started to accept my friends and realized they probably shouldn’t keep me away from them. My 11 PM curfew disappeared, replaced with… no curfew. I know, it was a dramatic turn.

The worst part about all of this? Okay, there are two worst parts. One: I was never even a bad kid. For real. When considering the other things most high school kids do and go through, my parents should have been on their knees thanking me for being the daughter I was. I got good grades, I never once got detention in my entire life, I had a part-time job all through high school, I never did drugs, I very rarely drank, I was in all sorts of after school activities… I mean, I was even voted Most Shy in high school, for crying out loud!

Sure, I did a few bad things because everyone makes mistakes, but for the most part, I was a great kid. It actually hurt my feelings that my parents were so suspicious of my very move, enough to feel the need to restrict me from doing anything. I worked my butt off to impress them and to do the right thing and it was never acknowledged. It was the worst. I get that they love me and just wanted what was best for me, and I appreciate their intentions… I just wish they had gone about it a different way.

The second worst thing? I have a younger brother and sister and guess what? They have literally always been allowed to do everything they want – and both of them are harder to handle than I was.

If you have parents similar to mine, the only thing I can say to you is this: it gets better. Usually. I mean, maybe not for everyone. But for most people, it does. My advice? Try your hardest not to rebel. Try to reason with them in the most rational way that you can. In the worst case scenario (like mine), you just have to wait it out. Hopefully, your parents will eventually realize that they can trust you… and then they’ll apologize. Hey, it happened to me!

Are your parents strict? Have they ever embarrassed you in front of your friends or boyfriend? What rules do they give you? Tell me in the comments!

 

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Posted in: Confessions
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60 Comments

  1. avatarEmber says:

    i totally relate im only 14 but my parents won’t let me have a boyfriend till im married.yeah.not allowed to drive till im 25.i go to a private school where only my family goes to.yeah.and they pretty much control me.i have to go to bed at 9:30 and i have a D in Social Studies and a C in Math so im grounded i have to keep my grades up or they will take up my ipod.NOOoooOOOOO!!!!!!!!

  2. avatarJess says:

    Wow, we practically have the same life… I’m still in high school and my parents are literally living my life. I’m not allowed to go to parties, not even my family members birthday parties or weddings! It’s insane. My mom takes my phone constantly to look at my messages and a couple of months ago when I started talking to my crush through text, she literally started talking to him through my phone pretending to be me, and she said horrible things to him. I get grounded if I get any grades lower than an A and I’m only allowed to see my friends outside of school if they come over to my house and we stay under my mom’s supervision. My dad isn’t even that strict, he just kind of agrees to everything my mom says, as if he’s scared of disagreeing. It feels like crap, and sometimes I feel like they should just let me have my own experiences and make my own mistakes in life, so I can learn from them. I also feel like I won’t be able to live in the real world when I go to college (if they even let me go) because I’ve always been so sheltered. It’s scary and I get scared of sometimes just bursting out and doing something crazy, just to see how they’ll react. I honestly don’t know what to do to get a bit more freedom…

  3. avatarSamantha says:

    Hey, I’m 17, and I have some seriously strict parents. Yet you know what? I love them to death, and I’m so very glad they’ve been as hard on me as they are. They make me appreciate having parents that care about me. SO many people today have parents that let them smoke, have sex whenever they can, come home when they feel like, and let them get horrible grades. When you see where those people go in life, you realize why your parents may seem strict. Of course it can be challenging at times, but it’s totally worth it. If you have strict parents, good for you! That means you’ll have a good career choice, and you’ll have great guidance to help you make tough decisions. I’m not allowed to date, but I’m fine with that. Before when I dated a boy we almost had sex, and afterwords I felt awful and incredibly guilty for coming close to giving something away that I want to save for my husband. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend should really NOT be a focus point in your life, you need to focus on grades, work, and setting a good path for the future! I’m well known throughout the school, no one picks on or bullies me, I have one close friend in a group of five, my grades are average, and I’m doing fabulous in our religion. The going has been tough, but I feel like once I’m off into the real world, I’ll have the knowledge and advice to make it. Hopefully you can see that strict parents are definitely not a bad thing to have!

  4. avatarilyana says:

    This is so me

  5. avatarCat says:

    Dang.
    I thought my mom was strict. I can totally understand the calling your friend’s parents before you can go over to their homes thing. I always thought that my mom was over-protective. She’s not and I understand where she’s coming from. It’s a dangerous world and she doesn’t just want to send me over to some stranger’s house to hang out w/ a kid she’s never met. It’s not that she doesn’t trust me. She just doesn’t trust this world. & I am ever so grateful that she cares for me so much to have my back and watch over me(not in a stalker fly on the wall way) but as a mother who cares about her child’s well-being.

  6. avatarKyler says:

    I’m 16, male, don’t do drugs or drink. And I know what it’s like, too. My mom doesn’t let me do anything. My curfew, ha.. I can’t go anywhere without giving her exact detail of where I’ll be (not allowed to drive yet so I can’t go very far), how long I’ll be gone (typically an hour max), and who I’ll be with (cannot be a female). Added to that, confiscated always are my phone, iPod, and whatever else might be of value or communication. I get a lot of crap for my grades, even though I usually end up on the honor roll. Tonight I was kept from a party because I’m missing a couple assignments which can easily be made up. My mom also holds religion over my head, even though I don’t do anything against our religion, nor do I even have the same morals as her. Plus, that’s not even fair grounds to control me with. She made me sign a contract that binds me to certain responsibilities, as the only means by which I can obtain the privileges that most normal teens have. I need to get out of here. I can’t earn trust, and I can’t break my mom into giving it to me. I’ve tried everything, and I fear the only way out of this is to just wait another year and a half. Maybe emancipation. Honestly, why do parents even do this?

  7. avatartamy says:

    I can really rlate to you. My parents aren’t letting me go to college. They are making me take a course so im stuck at home and they can actually keep their eye on me ALL the time. my curfew is yeah this is a good one- 5:45 pm!!! yes i know ten year olds who have a better curfew. I’m twenty years old, and they still determine what time i sleep and what time i get up. The question of them liking y friends doesn’t come into picture because- yeah they made sure that i don’t have ANY. I live in a neighborhood where there isn’t anyone my age.

  8. avatarNao says:

    My parents are so strict they sent me to an all-girls highschool and they forbid any dating until I graduate from college. They always try to discourage me from getting a boyfriend telling me that I would get pregnant easily. HELLO I WOULD IMMEDIATELY DUMP THE GUY IF HE EVER DOES ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE TO ME. I am not a screw up like my big bro and cousins. It’s super frustrating!!!!

    • avatarOriGurl says:

      Dear Nao,
      I totally getcha. I have parents who make me go to bed at 9:00, expect straight As, never have let me get a boyfriend, won’t let me have one until I’m 35, won’t let me drive until I’m 40, discourage all my friendships and overlook me because I have an older sis who is super popular. I’m not kidding, they won’t let me wear makeup until I’m 40.

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