Hey, Everyone With Super Strict Parents: It Gets Better (Usually)

If you have the kind of parents who set a lot of rules and are basically just super strict about everything from grades to boys to friends, trust me when I say that I feel your pain. I love my parents to death and owe them everything, but when I was in high school, they made my life incredibly frustrating by being ridiculously strict.

My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. F’s? Forget about it. This was manageable. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. Fine, whatever. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. Actually, they hated them. This made things difficult, to say the least.

For one thing, I was never allowed to go to anyone’s house unless my mom called to talk to their parents first. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was humiliating. My mom would call my friend’s parents to check up on me to see if I was really going there or to see what we were doing.

The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense? One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. Trying to avoid the situation, I lied and said I didn’t have her number – so instead, she dropped me off and wouldn’t let me out of the car until she spoke to them. That was when L had to awkwardly explain to my mom that her parents couldn’t talk because they were taking a bath… together. I was never allowed to go over there again. Seriously.

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful. Moving on to their attempt at ruining my first real relationship.

When I was 15-years-old, I started dating a guy we’ll call D. D and I got very serious very quickly and my parents didn’t like it. They didn’t approve of D, who was your typical insufferable emo teenager (my mom wanted me to date the blonde, tall, good-looking captain of the football team. No, this is not a movie – just my sad life).

D and I were obsessed with each other, but my parents weren’t having it. They quickly made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to see D during the week, only on the weekends… and even then, they’d find an excuse. Since we couldn’t hang out together Monday-Thursday, D and I would talk on the phone for all hours of the night. We literally used to fall asleep on the phone together. This was, for some reason, my parent’s worst nightmare. Even though it didn’t affect them in the slightest bit, they decided it had to stop.

So, what did they do? Oh, what any rational parent would do – collect all of the house phones (this was before all teens had cell phones) and hide them in their room, obviously. Guys, they would literally disconnect our phone connection every single night and hold all of the phones hostage so I couldn’t use them.

Many more things like this happened. There were points of my high school life where I literally wasn’t allowed to do anything. My parents and I fought on a regular basis, which I don’t even think needs to be said.

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

So, is there a happy ending to this story? Thankfully, yes. At some point during my senior year, my parents realized how completely insane they were being, took a chill pill and relaxed. They got to know my boyfriend and actually started to really like him. They started to accept my friends and realized they probably shouldn’t keep me away from them. My 11 PM curfew disappeared, replaced with… no curfew. I know, it was a dramatic turn.

The worst part about all of this? Okay, there are two worst parts. One: I was never even a bad kid. For real. When considering the other things most high school kids do and go through, my parents should have been on their knees thanking me for being the daughter I was. I got good grades, I never once got detention in my entire life, I had a part-time job all through high school, I never did drugs, I very rarely drank, I was in all sorts of after school activities… I mean, I was even voted Most Shy in high school, for crying out loud!

Sure, I did a few bad things because everyone makes mistakes, but for the most part, I was a great kid. It actually hurt my feelings that my parents were so suspicious of my very move, enough to feel the need to restrict me from doing anything. I worked my butt off to impress them and to do the right thing and it was never acknowledged. It was the worst. I get that they love me and just wanted what was best for me, and I appreciate their intentions… I just wish they had gone about it a different way.

The second worst thing? I have a younger brother and sister and guess what? They have literally always been allowed to do everything they want – and both of them are harder to handle than I was.

If you have parents similar to mine, the only thing I can say to you is this: it gets better. Usually. I mean, maybe not for everyone. But for most people, it does. My advice? Try your hardest not to rebel. Try to reason with them in the most rational way that you can. In the worst case scenario (like mine), you just have to wait it out. Hopefully, your parents will eventually realize that they can trust you… and then they’ll apologize. Hey, it happened to me!

Are your parents strict? Have they ever embarrassed you in front of your friends or boyfriend? What rules do they give you? Tell me in the comments!

 

Your complete guide to dealing with stress

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter


Posted in: Confessions
Tags: , , , ,
  • Celine

    Okay hey so I’m 15 years old and so as your mom she always calls the parents of my friends just to check on me before she actually lets me go. So anyway my big problem is that I have a boyfriend and my parents just don’t get it. They say I’m too young and it’s too early and stuff and they barely allow me to see him outside school so does anyone have any advice to give me to let them allow me seeing him more and like maybe let me go at his place?? By the way I’m a very good teen like you were.

  • Banu Ahmed

    Ok so i am a muslim and muslim parents can sometimes be too strict. They always worry that something is gonna happen to me . It is so annoying. I cant have my friends numbers.I cant go to there houses.I cant go to school trips that are far away. I cant walk to the shops by myself or with my friends. I cant take my phone to school and so much more. Im really fed up but i dunno what to do. They keep telling me that i need to be careful out in this world. I want independance and freedom. I am 14 btw.

  • abbyroberts

    my dad and step mom dont like my girlfriend and they dont want me to be with her. what do i do.

  • LilMissTeenager

    We have almost the same situation, I also have a little brother and sister who gets away with everything and can do whatever they want. Meanwhile, my parents don’t trust me at all! I’m one of those “one of the boys” kind-of girls and they would always think that the boys I hang out with wants me or likes me, I mean what!? And it’s weird that I have a curfew and my brother doesn’t. He can go home at 12 pm and they wouldn’t really care that much, while I get grounded when I get home at 7 pm! They always see my mistakes instead of the things that I actually do for them. There’s this one time where they’d bought me a phone and after like 2 months they confiscated it saying that they are just gonna borrow it then bam! they sold it. Now, I’m the only girl in grade 9 who doesn’t have a phone. :l talk about being out of place.

  • Ubuntu

    Well my story’s like this: Im 15 and I’m finally in a relationship with someone I genuinely love. My mom saw the 2 of us standing together after school. She told me to go home immediately and she said something to him and drove away. My mom and dad said they didn’t want to see me with “boys” and they want me to go home immediately after the bus dropped us off after school. I don’t understand what the big deal is because all we were doing is talking. We didn’t have our tongues in each others throats. I am a good child in school and I never let anything affect my marks. They didn’t even care how much I LOVE this guy and they didnt give me a chance to speak and whenever I tried to get my point across, they said I was being disrespectful.
    Are my parents being reasonable? What should i do?

  • Kateri Blackwing

    my parents were not strict with me so there when I was 21 they cut me loose

  • Lily

    Omg this is exactly what is happening to me. My parents are so strict, I HAVE to get A’s in school and only ever go out with friends like 10 times a year. Recently I have been talking to some guys from other schools and I got invited to a party of theirs but of course my parents won’t let me go because they have not met the parents. My mum said that I would only be allowed to go if SHE CAME. No way. I’m 14 and she doesn’t understand me going out with anyone and told me that i am not allowed to. She doesn’t even understand liking someone? And if I talk to her about it she just ignores me. Help!

  • Shiann

    My mom is on the verge of abusive. She actually withdrew me from high school at 16 without my knowledge and took away all my access to phones, internet, and friends. She enrolled me in online schooling. I now have to get a GED since ecot does not give you a diploma. ECOT does not come with access to the internet on the computer so I am supposed to get an ipad to ask questions online and research answers. My mom wont give the ipad to me because she is afraid I will get online and talk to friends, boyfriend, or get on facebook. I need help! I just turned 17 in October but I dont know if I can take another year of this. I can go to my dads but by the time he fights for custody, I will already be 18. Who can I call? (Columbus Ohio – Franklin County)

    • Bridget Rose

      hey my parents are really strict too. im also 16 and i need to talk to someone that understands cause im thinking of moving out.

  • CHONG! JOJUN! BALSA!

    My parents are way worse I’m not even allowed to have any social media or any friend’s number (I know u r wondering now how I’m using disqus. Well I have this account without them knowing) I only have gmail and it is my school’s email and I can’t use it only for asking my friends about homework.i have a youtube account which I’m really happy about.i have never seen my friends outside of school and my parents r very strict with grades. I’m absolutely perfect at school (btw I’m 15)and I’ve never had a detention all I get is praise. Al so because of my parents treatment I’m very shy at school and u know high school students talk a lot about social media and things like this and I’m not socialised with them coz I have no idea what they talk about. I’m not allowed to go to shops by myself also at school, Lunch times we are allowed to go out. Unfortunately my house is near by so i have to go home im not even allowed to stay at school only if i have homework to do there. Also I discussed with my parents about sixth form and university and told them I might go to one that is far away if I have to they told me they’ll drop me there and pick me up. I’m so upset and sometimes I get angry and start crying in my room remembering how even with my best friends I don’t get included a lot with their conversations because most of the things they talk about are far out of my reach and as u said I hope as I get bigger my parents will come to understand. Sorry for how much I wrote I just got angry and wrote this much so maybe I can feel better.

  • Hope Carla

    my parents to a certain degree are overprotective.They don’t want me to have a bf and am sixteen. I was forced to break-up with my bf of 6 months who I dated behind their back until I was caught by some crazy guy. I practically lead a terrible life of only youtube and reading stories online and spending time with my older sisters btw we are all waiting for the D Day
    when we will leave the house and be free can’t wait just two more years

  • Alexandriajfjwn

    im 13 and i know thts still young but next year ill b going to highschool and my parents wont even let me walk to the library which is literally up my street. i get good grades, im even in this advamced program, i play an instrument, i barely swear, i’ve never gotten a detention before so it pisses me off when they wont trust me to even let me sleepover my friends house. They always say its not you i dont trust, its other people. but its such a dumb thing to say bcuz theres no reason for u to trust ppl u dont no in the first place. compared to most kids in my school im an a n g e l. ok, angel. im in 8th grade and there r girls skipping class, swearing up and doen the hallways, twerking everywhere, carrying around actual purses(legit leather bags ur mom has)and showing lots and lots of skin. I DONT UNDERSTAND. forget sleepover, i hav to beg 23 times on my hands and knees, giv 5 reasons y they should let me go, and all info of where i will be, what i will do, and whos going to be there to even stay at friends to just hang out. i just want to have some freedom without them hobering over me. let me liv my youth. the most aggravating thing tho is when i mention about sleeping over a friends or walking literally anywhere, you know what they do? They laugh. its so much worse then them yelling at u, cuz they wont even take u srsly. lik ur a joke. A FRIGGIN JOKE. to some i may sound lik a spoiled brat, cuz my parents provide me with everything i hav and need. but they hav to understand tht i can b trusted not to make stupid decisions or get influenced by other ppl easily. bcuz of my age they think im VERY naive and i probably am, but im defintely smart enough to know right from wrong and to be safe. when i talk to them calmly about it they laugh, when i get angry at them about it, then they yell at me. its a never ending cycle. its gets so frustrating, i honestly cry sometimes. all i want to do is have fun with my friends and live my CHILDHOOD or what little is left of it. and im pretty sire its going to get worse from here since they strongly believe in the teenage rebellious phase.

  • kc6712

    i live with my mum and she’s nuts. if i don’t text her back within thirty minutes she’ll call me and then i’ll be grounded, like yesterday i was at school after a week of holiday and i spent every spare minute with teachers catching up, then after school i went to my boyfriends house for his birthday (very special occasion in my family culture) since i never text her back cause j didn’t have my phone on me as it doesn’t fit in my sport shorts, when she picked me up i got yelled at the whole trip home and wasn’t allowed to see him the next time i asked, JUST for that reason. One time i missed the bus, and was with a friend so i got home an hour late, she lost it at me, yelling at me for a solid hour and then she threatened to never let me go out like that again even tho it was just to the shops. I get so mad cause she’s so controlling and it’s so unfair cause she always thinks she’s right and ignores my valid points.

  • priscilla romo

    I live with my grandparents and if I get home a minute past 7 pm my grandma says for me to just relocate. And want to put the old locks so they can lock my door at night and quoted ” its so older people won’t get out of their room at night if you don’t want them to” I’m 18 years old almost 19! My grandma also told me going out once a week with my boyfriend is to much and we should only go out once a month. Also got mad because I wanted to go to college tutoring and said ” you’ve been out in the callé*road* all day , I don’t want you to go rest is more important”. How is sleep more important than school like ever?!?! She doesn’t let me get a job so I can’t leave… I had one and went long hours so I can live on my own but forced me to quit or she would take everything she provides away from me