Hey, Everyone With Super Strict Parents: It Gets Better (Usually)

If you have the kind of parents who set a lot of rules and are basically just super strict about everything from grades to boys to friends, trust me when I say that I feel your pain. I love my parents to death and owe them everything, but when I was in high school, they made my life incredibly frustrating by being ridiculously strict.

My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. F’s? Forget about it. This was manageable. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. Fine, whatever. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. Actually, they hated them. This made things difficult, to say the least.

For one thing, I was never allowed to go to anyone’s house unless my mom called to talk to their parents first. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was humiliating. My mom would call my friend’s parents to check up on me to see if I was really going there or to see what we were doing.

The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense? One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. Trying to avoid the situation, I lied and said I didn’t have her number – so instead, she dropped me off and wouldn’t let me out of the car until she spoke to them. That was when L had to awkwardly explain to my mom that her parents couldn’t talk because they were taking a bath… together. I was never allowed to go over there again. Seriously.

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful. Moving on to their attempt at ruining my first real relationship.

When I was 15-years-old, I started dating a guy we’ll call D. D and I got very serious very quickly and my parents didn’t like it. They didn’t approve of D, who was your typical insufferable emo teenager (my mom wanted me to date the blonde, tall, good-looking captain of the football team. No, this is not a movie – just my sad life).

D and I were obsessed with each other, but my parents weren’t having it. They quickly made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to see D during the week, only on the weekends… and even then, they’d find an excuse. Since we couldn’t hang out together Monday-Thursday, D and I would talk on the phone for all hours of the night. We literally used to fall asleep on the phone together. This was, for some reason, my parent’s worst nightmare. Even though it didn’t affect them in the slightest bit, they decided it had to stop.

So, what did they do? Oh, what any rational parent would do – collect all of the house phones (this was before all teens had cell phones) and hide them in their room, obviously. Guys, they would literally disconnect our phone connection every single night and hold all of the phones hostage so I couldn’t use them.

Many more things like this happened. There were points of my high school life where I literally wasn’t allowed to do anything. My parents and I fought on a regular basis, which I don’t even think needs to be said.

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

So, is there a happy ending to this story? Thankfully, yes. At some point during my senior year, my parents realized how completely insane they were being, took a chill pill and relaxed. They got to know my boyfriend and actually started to really like him. They started to accept my friends and realized they probably shouldn’t keep me away from them. My 11 PM curfew disappeared, replaced with… no curfew. I know, it was a dramatic turn.

The worst part about all of this? Okay, there are two worst parts. One: I was never even a bad kid. For real. When considering the other things most high school kids do and go through, my parents should have been on their knees thanking me for being the daughter I was. I got good grades, I never once got detention in my entire life, I had a part-time job all through high school, I never did drugs, I very rarely drank, I was in all sorts of after school activities… I mean, I was even voted Most Shy in high school, for crying out loud!

Sure, I did a few bad things because everyone makes mistakes, but for the most part, I was a great kid. It actually hurt my feelings that my parents were so suspicious of my very move, enough to feel the need to restrict me from doing anything. I worked my butt off to impress them and to do the right thing and it was never acknowledged. It was the worst. I get that they love me and just wanted what was best for me, and I appreciate their intentions… I just wish they had gone about it a different way.

The second worst thing? I have a younger brother and sister and guess what? They have literally always been allowed to do everything they want – and both of them are harder to handle than I was.

If you have parents similar to mine, the only thing I can say to you is this: it gets better. Usually. I mean, maybe not for everyone. But for most people, it does. My advice? Try your hardest not to rebel. Try to reason with them in the most rational way that you can. In the worst case scenario (like mine), you just have to wait it out. Hopefully, your parents will eventually realize that they can trust you… and then they’ll apologize. Hey, it happened to me!

Are your parents strict? Have they ever embarrassed you in front of your friends or boyfriend? What rules do they give you? Tell me in the comments!

 

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Posted in: Confessions
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78 Comments

  1. avatarJADELIPPYlips says:

    I soo can relate its like they jus want to mess me up loads all the time I do everythin always wrong in ther eyes laze and dad thinks I am a dirty lapper or worse he sed lk I was all dressed to go out and jus b4 I got to the door he yelled get bak up stairs and dress properly lk I was a prozzie or something yet he pervs on the nieghbore which hne fancies and mum jus dnt realise it and baks him up soo I end up losin everytime its so upsettin rlly I think their so unfair

  2. avatarJanice says:

    Wow I can relate to this so much. I am a 14 year old girl and because of my parents be strict and over protective I am facing with depression and I have social anxiety. Is that normal? I don’t know. I love them… I really do, but everytime I get the courage to even ask to go over to a friends house, they start screaming and ranting about how I could get raped or brutally murdered if I go. And I’m scared to even ask them anymore. I don’t think I’m a bad child. I get A’s and B’s, I listen to them, I follower their rules, and I stay on the sidelines, I never date, I don’t go to parties, I just stay home and watch tv and that’s fine, but I am compared I am judged I get the “why did I ever give birth to you if you can’t do anything?” and I hate it. I don’t know if I’m over thinking this, when ever I tell my friends they just brush it off and I feel alone. My parents won’t even let me go to collage, my brother constantly reminds me how useless I am, my families no different either. I cannot wait to get out of here.

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