When it comes to a clean breakup, you want to make sure that your soon-to-be ex clearly gets the message. That murky area of “Are we totally over?” or “Wait, are we just on a break?” can linger and cause some big-time drama you don’t want.
So how do you make your breakup message loud and clear? Well, I guess you could (should?) have an actual conversation with your guy about wanting to call things off.
However… when it comes to dumping someone there are some lazier ways that take less emotional and mental preparation. Considering that, here’s ten tips about what you should (not?) do to say bye-bye to your ex for good:
Be Very LiteralIt's best to be very straightforward, and if I've learned anything from English classes, it's that literal language is the easiest to understand. Rent an actual dump truck to make a pit stop past your boyfriend's house and have them deliver the news. I'm not sure that your decision to dump him can be made more clearly than with the visual representation of a dump truck parked in his driveway. Source: Shutterstock.com
Plan A Birthday BreakupOn his birthday, he'll have a lot of good things going for him - presents, cake, his friends and family nearby. This is probably the best time to break up with him because he has so many good things going on that will cancel out the badness of you breaking up with him. Even in your break ups, you want to be sensitive with timing, and I think this will really nail it. Source: Shutterstock.com
Say It In A SongSimilarly to the birthday, taking him to his favorite band's concert is a good way to make sure he'll be in a good mood. He'll be even happier when they shout out to him and say they are going to play a song dedicated to him from you! He may be less happy when he realizes you paid the band to play their most well-known break-up song for him, but remember how nice you were before they did that? He probably will too, and voilà, a smooth breakup! Source: Shutterstock.com
Ease The TransitionSpin dumping him into a positive! Rather than flat out saying you don't want to date him anymore, start announcing his newly single status to the school - over the loudspeaker, in the cafeteria, at the afternoon pep rally! The fact that you are helping him find a rebound means that he should take getting unexpectedly and publicly dumped by you that much better. Source: Shutterstock.com
Fake AmnesiaJust be completely confused by who this person claiming to be your "boyfriend" is - if you have no recollection of dating, then you don't really need to go through an official breakup. He'll just have to accept that you aren't an item. He will also have to learn to ignore the fact that for some curious reason, you still remember your friends and your class schedule... Source: Shutterstock.com
Put It In (Sky)writingHire a skywriter to help put together those words you can't seem to say yourself. Won't this be more respectful than a breakup note you jotted down on a piece of notebook paper before school? This is obviously your only other option. Plus, in case he missed the message, nearly everyone else in the town could fill him in. Source: Shutterstock.com
Go Big Or Go HomeI feel like it is nearly impossible for people to say "No" when asked a question at a sports game via Jumbotron, which is why I think some people choose to propose over them. In your case though, you'll be doing very much the opposite. Put that breakup message up there on the big screen, and it's unlikely that your now-ex will try to protest your decision in front of the millions of fellow fans watching the breakup go down. Source: Shutterstock.com
Flip A (Trick) CoinSay that things aren't really working out, but be sure to explain that it's not just you, but you really think that fate feels the same way. Demonstrate with a dramatic coin flip - heads means that breaking up is the right decision. Well, you can always make sure the coin lands the way you want with one of those trick coins! Again, no blame for you, because this is really just what fate had in mind. Source: Shutterstock.com
Take Advantage Of Opposite DayIf you dump him on "Opposite Day," then it's really not your fault because by that logic, you were the one dumped. Right? Right?! Okay, technically Opposite Day is January 25, but instead of basically waiting another year, just do what you used to do in elementary school and just declare that any day is opposite day. You avoid all dumping responsibility! Source: Shutterstock.com
Twist Valentine's Day AroundValentine's Day candy is great because it has the caring messages right on them. To dump someone, you may be surprised to learn that you can use these pre-written messages to your advantage. Use a little icing to add "Don't" before "Be Mine" on a cookie, or just make like this picture, and leave the broken one in his locker. It's a pretty clear message that you won't be valentines anytime soon, and you barely had to do anything! Source: Shutterstock.com
Have you ever dumped someone? How did you handle it? Tell us in the comments!