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If you’ve just hooked up with someone who isn’t your long-term boyfriend, the moments right after a hookup can be sort of tricky. Once the passion dies down and you guys are just laying next to each other, semi embarrassed over what just happened, conversation doesn’t always flow so easily. What are you supposed to say? Are you supposed to just cuddle and not talk? Or are you supposed to compliment him? UGH!
One thing’s for sure: you should absolutely not say these 10 things. Saying any of the things in the list we’ve compiled below is either going to a) offend the dude, b) make him think you’re a little crazy or c) both of the above. So, to sidestep any awkward situations, we’ve put together a list of what not to say after sex:
"I feel SO fat right now."
Guys NEVER want to hear you talk about how you feel fat or how you think you're fat. Never. They especially don't want to hear you talk about it right after you've had sex and you're both naked. It makes them uncomfortable and it also makes them doubt why they hooked up with you in the first place... even if they don't think you're fat. Plus, guys get really turned off by low self-esteem. Oh, and by the way? You don't look fat! Source: ShutterStock"Was that good for you? Are you sure? Promise?!"
Once again, this is an issue of low self-esteem... and dudes love confidence in a woman. It's totally normal to wonder how a guy felt about a hookup, but if he's smiling and seems happy, it probably means it felt great. If you want to see how he felt about it, say something like, "Man, that was great!" and see how he responds. But don't ask over and over again if he liked it - you probably wouldn't like that being done to you either. Source: ShutterStock"Wow, that was SO much better/worse than my ex!"
Talking about your ex in front of a new guy is never a good idea, and the worst way to do it is by comparing the two of them, even if you're saying the new guy is better. You might think it sounds like a compliment, but it just makes him wonder why you're thinking about your ex at all. Also, it will make him wonder what you're going to say about him in the future... Source: ShutterStock"I can't wait to tell my friends about this!"
I feel like a guy's worse fear is finding out you told your friends everything about him, sex-wise. It's totally fine to dish to your BFF's about the dude you hooked up with, but you probably shouldn't tell him you're going to do it. Source: ShutterStock"You're a lot smaller than I thought you'd be! No offense."
Ouch. Don't ever tell a guy his penis is small - that's a low blow. If there's one thing I know, it's that guys take their penis size very seriously. In fact, I wouldn't comment on it at all unless he asks. At which point, maybe being honest isn't always the best idea... unless you want to intentionally hurt his feelings. Source: ShutterStock"Wanna meet my parents tomorrow?"
There's a time to have The Talk, and right after sex isn't it. Your guy is busy feeling all relaxed and happy, and you're about to totally freak him out. Think about it: would you like to have a ton of pressure put on you at a moment you feel vulnerable? Probably not. Save this question for a better time. Source: ShutterStock"That was... fast."
Really, anything negative about the sex doesn't belong in this moment. Insulting a guy about what just went on is just plain mean. If it was bad, then just don't do it again... but there's no need to put him down. Source: ShutterStock"So, I think we should just be friends."
While it's super important to be up front about what you want, it's also important to get that out of the way before you do something as intimate as have sex. Don't go into that without letting him know what you're looking for first. That's how people get hurt. Source: ShutterStock"I should have brought this up earlier, but I'm seeing someone."
Okay, this is just everyone's worst nightmare. Don't get someone to be "the other man" without even letting him know it's happening. Rude! Source: ShutterStock"Are you thinking what I'm thinking? CHEDDAR CHEESE!"
I don't know. This just feels like a really weird thing to say when you're cuddling naked with someone. On the other hand... totally something I would say. Source: ShutterStockHave you ever said any of these things? What did we miss? What’s the worst thing a guy has ever said to you after sex? Tell us in the comments!
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The cheddar cheese comment made my day. Lol
The cheddar cheese one was weird…