Pregnancy scares are bad enough on their own – if you’ve ever experienced that overwhelming sense of panic that only comes from the possibility of something happening that you feel like you have no control over, you know what I’m talking about. Well, my first pregnancy scare was even worse than normal because I also managed to make it one of the most awkward and embarrassing moments of my life.
Allow me to share the cringe-worthy details.
When I was 16-years-old, I was dating this dude we’ll call D. D and I were basically obsessed with each other and spent most of our time together making out in my basement while my little brother and sister spied on us. When it came to hooking up, we had done everything but have sex… we were both still virgins and I was planning to stay that way for a little while longer. You would think that since we weren’t having sex, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. You would be wrong.
See, I am a huge worrywart and a very panicky person. It’s a fun combination (JK). One month, my period was late. When I say late, I mean it was two days behind schedule. Despite the fact that my period had never been very consistent in the years since I’d started getting it, I went into full on freak-out mode. The week before, D and I been fooling around practically naked and, you know, stuff happened. I was convinced that I had somehow managed to get myself pregnant without actually having sex.
The third morning when my period didn’t appear, I panicked. I tried to calm myself down, but in my head I was like, “OMG I’m pregnant. Somehow, his sperm traveled into my vagina and fertilized an egg.” I had no idea how it could have happened, but in my freaked out state it seemed possible.
A quick Google search of “can I get pregnant without having sex” and “how long does sperm live once it hits the air” revealed that there actually is an incredibly low chance of getting pregnant without doing the deed. A very common belief is that sperm dies the second it hits the air, but that’s actually not true. As MayoClinic explains, “sperm ejaculated outside the body might survive in semen — the fluid released during ejaculation — up to a few hours.”
Of course, I immediately convinced myself that I could be pregnant. Never mind the fact that I had been wearing underwear at the time or that we had obviously cleaned things up pretty quickly or that there wasn’t even sperm near the place it needed to be. All rational thoughts flew out the window. In my mind, I was already pregnant. I was like the Virgin Mary, but modern and not holy, and I was going to have to explain to my child one day that I was still a virgin. Why would I have to explain this? Ask 16-year-old Jessica, because I don’t know.
Obviously, I faked sick, stayed home the entire day and cried. When my mom came home from work, she nagged me for hours about why I was upset. Finally, the stress of my unplanned pregnancy and the idea of disappointing everyone I’ve ever known and being a pregnant virgin got to me. I told her what was going on.
When I said I was late, she put her head in her hands. “You’re having sex?” she asked, sounding miserable.
“OMG Mom, no!” was my response. I mean, obviously.
She picked her head up and stared at me. “Then what are you talking about, Jessica?” she asked. The idea of telling my mom that my boyfriend and I had made out almost naked was horrifying. I shrugged and stopped answering questions. Finally she hissed, “Did his penis go inside of you?”
My mom asking me that was too much to handle. I screamed no and ran into the bathroom crying. My mom probably thought I was insane but she’s also a panicky person, so she went out and bought me a pregnancy test. As we waited for the test results, my mom told me she was going to have D arrested (she didn’t like him very much) and I told her that wasn’t possible and also that we were in love, so to leave him alone.
The test results were negative – obviously. I wasn’t pregnant. I was thrilled… my mom, not so much. The next day she made an appointment with a gynecologist to get me on birth control pills (she didn’t believe I was still a virgin, which was pretty infuriating). We never talked about it again, but all in all, it was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done to myself in front of my mom. PS: I got my period the next morning.
Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Would you ever tell your mom about it if you did? Have you ever been worried about getting pregnant even if you haven’t had sex? Tell me in the comments.