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People grow apart in life, and sometimes friend breakups are really dramatic. Sometimes there’s a fight and expletives and “I’m never speaking to you again!” moments. But usually you get back together. I’m in the middle of a friend breakup right now, and it’s the worst.
There was no fight. We just haven’t made time for each other, are constantly flaking and we don’t talk anymore. We’ve grown apart. While I’d love to fix it, we both know it’s going to feel forced. Friendships shouldn’t feel like work, and they shouldn’t be exhausting.
I feel pretty helpless. I tell my close girlfriends everything. You can say that your boyfriend is your best friend, but there’s no substitution for a BFF. Girlfriends understand you in a way that no guy can because they’ve felt the things you’ve felt and understand your perspective.
I have hundreds of pictures with this friend who now is just someone I get updates on from her Facebook timeline. I have friendship bracelets and notes and years of birthday presents. This friendship was longer than most of my relationships. Now phone calls and texts are ignored, Instagram likes are no more and shared weekend plans are a thing of the past.
It’s so tough for me to not be able to text her something funny that happened. And you’re breaking up with someone that you would talk to about a break up. It’s hard to talk to mutual friends about it too because they’re going to pick sides. When you break up with a friend, there’s no “We can still be friends” because you can’t. It’s just over. I feel like I’m mourning a death, and technically I am.
Yes, I have other friends. But this person was one of my best friends. I would have rather had a big fight and makeup than have the slow decline that forced us apart. I miss her, and it’s past the point of no return.
Have you ever gone through a friend breakup? How did you deal with it? Do you think it’s worse than breaking up with a boyfriend? Tell me in the comments!
I hope I don’t get lonely and sick from this
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I recently lost my bestfriend too and it is the worst feeling ever. I spent my whole life with her and only her i didnt pay much attention to my other friends just her and now i have no one to talk to. I only had her while she had plenty of other bestfriends too, so she got bored of me and started spending all her time with her. She became more mean with me and seemed bored and the only time she would call me to hangout is when she needed a favor like to go someplace with her only because all her other friends were busy. I was her last choice even after being bestfriends since kindergarten and we are now in highschool. She was the only one that new my secrets and all the crap about me and my family and my situation she helped me get by and deal with my pain until she became my pain.
Know the feeling oh so well. I broke up with a friend with whom I share very fun but also very painfull memories. At some point she just lost interest in me and I had to make an effort to have her still talking to me. Not only did she leave me hanging when I needed a friend the most, but also treated me like worthless trash. With her I lost all mutual friends, because they picked her side. I know I’m better off without her, but the hurt and anger still remains because I was left being the idiot in the whole affair. It’s so much harder to trust people now.
Hey, don’t give up! You just need to rekindle your friendship, remember there is always hope! I restored an old friendship, pretty sure you can too!
ugh happening with me ryt now. idk if she even care abt me nowadays
Its so weird to stumble upon this article because, this is exactly what I was realizing today. My bestfriend and I have been bestfriends since freshmen year and now we’re freshmen in College. We spent everyday together, always on the phone for hours, her family became my family as did mine to her. It wasn’t till recently that she had gotten a new boyfriend last year that I’ve notice our hang out, texts, calls diminishing. We like to blame work for keeping us apart but, we really know thats not the truth. Its so sad, I have so much memories with this girl, she’s basically a sister. Yesterday, I asked if I could go over and hang out. It was agreed but, only for a while because she had plans to go out. Me feeling like I was being a bother decide just not to go. Then this morning I saw on instagram she had pictures with one of our good mutual friends and her boyfriend. It angered me and depressed me because she took no effort to invite me when I clearly reaching out. I made the decision to not even try anymore. To not reply, nor answer, I’m done. As much as hurts me, its just not the same anymore. I have realistically no other true friends and its makes me feel utterly alone now.
I’m going through exactly this right now, she doesn’t call even though I try to call her, doesn’t even bother spending time with me anymore, she only talks to me if she runs into me at school; this is all since she got a new bf. So I’m not even going to bother, if she isn’t going to make an effort, then why the hell should I, I’m done wasting my time on someone who’s just going to forget all about me at the drop of a hat, time to make some new friends!
my ex best friend and i fell out because her ex and i decided to be friends with benefits. he’d messed her around pretty bad and i came to my senses before anything happened between me and him but i ended up willingly confessing to her about it. she seemed okay at first but now we just don’t acknowledge each other. i made all the effort i could with her afterwards but after 7 months of trying my hardest i decided to stop making the effort. it’s sad that someone i once considered my sister is no longer there for me, at times when in truth i probably needed her the most
I’m probly going throw something worse my BFFL for 13 years now has picked her boyfriend over me. They meet online and only saw each other for 6 months.
Like anytime im with her she text him insted of talking with me. I don’t like him at all and I know why. He has taken my BFFL away from me and it really sucks. DX
You can always talk…if it’s that painful, then hopefully you still have something. You have nothing to lose. Good luck.
Ugh, I feel your pain. This happened with my ex-BFF. It was slowly dying, and it had a lot to do with her boyfriend – I made all the effort to try and hang out, and sometimes we would plan things two weeks in advance. I’d be looking forward to out hangout day all week. We’d get together, go somewhere, and it was fun… until she dropped the “I only have until like 5 because that’s when will be home.” and I’d get kind of upset, because… hey, this was supposed to be our day. Then she’d get upset with me, and say things like “I thought a few hours would be enough” and made me feel all bad for getting upset, even though I knew deep down she was putting her boyfriend first, all the time. We eventually had a huge falling out, and we haven’t spoken in over a year. Sometimes I still miss her, but I know the friendship was in tatters before the fight, and all in all, it’s probably for the best that it’s over.