Stop Calling Me A Cougar! Why Dating A Younger Guy Is No Big Deal

dating younger

Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart seem happy! | Source: Judy Eddy/

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of questions from you guys about dating a younger person. A lot of you are wondering if it’s weird/creepy/not okay to date a dude who’s younger than you. I can totally understand your concerns. But as a girl with a younger boyfriend, I’m here to tell you guys a little secret: it’s seriously no big deal.

I’ve been dating a guy who’s three years younger than me for a little over two years now. I’ve dealt with constant criticism, shocked reactions, confusion as to why I would go younger and questions about what it’s like. Honestly, I’m so sick of people making a big deal about the fact that my boyfriend is younger than me. His age doesn’t matter to me, it doesn’t matter to him and it has never affected our relationship… so why do people care so much?

When I first started dating my boyfriend, my friends were all super excited for me. Everyone asked me the usual questions: what does he look like? Where does he work? Where’s he from? How old is he? The second I said his age, the majority of them raised their eyebrows. “He’s younger than you?” they would ask, confused expressions taking over their faces. “That stinks.”

My reaction to that? I’m a pretty non-confrontational person, so I usually shrug and say, “It’s really not a big deal.” What I really want to do is say, “You’re extremely rude” and walk away, but… that’s not the point. The point is, why do people think it sucks to have a younger boyfriend? I know that typically, girls mature faster than guys, and so a lot of people think younger guys are more likely to be immature and to act like a bad boyfriend. But that’s not the case, at least not for me.

The first time I went on a date with my boyfriend, I’ll admit that I was a tiny bit worried about his age – but my worry was more about what my friends would think than anything else. I knew they were going to tease me about how old he was, but for me, age had always been nothing more than a number, so I decided that I didn’t care. I had several best friends who were a few years younger than me and I got along with them better than I did with some people my own age. How could this be different?

Turns out, it wasn’t. Our first date was amazing and our second, third and fourth dates were even better. Over the last two years, I’ve barely given our age difference a second thought – in fact, I usually forget that he’s younger than me. Sure, he has his immature moments… but so do I! And, sure, he was in sixth grade when I was a freshmen in high school and that sounds creepy. But the more important thing is that we get along really well and he’s my best friend. So, really, his age doesn’t matter. 

So, to all of the people who continue to make fun of me for “being a cougar” and going younger: you sound lame. No, seriously, you do. If you’re going to let an age difference of a few years stop you from getting to know someone legitimately cool, that’s something you need to work on. It’s the same as judging someone for their looks or for where they work – it’s unfair. Let’s all agree to stop making age a huge issue and to focus more on someone’s personality than their birthday date. Sound good? Good.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Would you? Do you think age difference is a big deal in a relationship? Tell me in the comments.


Confession: I dated an older guy

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Posted in: Relationships
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  • Ritu Jangra

    Hey Jessica.. it was a good read.. I am dating a guy younger than me.. it’s really good.. as u mentioned about immature moments I want to know about how to handle situations like that.. he is pretty curious type and I after a heart break before him, I am becoming kinda reluctant.. I want to clear everything make it a good one..but I am nt able to answer his questions the safe way or fullfil his doubts.. I really want a advice..

  • Abby

    I became friends with one of my brother’s friends. I really like him a lot. He hasn’t directly told me that he likes me yet, but I found out that he does. I am one of the youngest people in my class. I’m 16 and he’s 13. What should I do? Even though we’re both minors so it wouldn’t make a difference anyways, I do not plan on having sex or doing anything sexual whatsoever. There is a girl the grade below me dating a guy in the same grade as my brother and crush. That’s two years, and no one makes a big deal out of it, so does an extra year make a difference? Should I go for it, or should I wait until we are both in high school? Help?

  • Courtney

    I’m 23 and intend to get a boyfriend that’s 18-21 years old! I love them younger and just a lot more comfortable around them. I keep getting bothered by men in their 30’s and 40’s, even 50’s, and it grosses me out. I do not like older guys!

  • Hannah Spiller

    Omg your right, I’m dating a guy about 3 years younger than me and people will be picking on me because of it. But we are really in love and he is super sweet, I love him so much❤️

  • jamie

    My boyfriend is 2 yrs and 4 months younger than me but he can’t seem to get over me being older. I am 18 almost 19. And he’s 16 almost 17. He’s a junior in high school and I’m a freshman in college. I dont understand at all. One day he’s like it doesn’t matter it just a number and the next day it’s a problem. I don’t know what to do. I talk to him about it.

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  • ashton

    My boyfriend is 3 yrs and 19 days younger than me I am 22 and hes 19 we been together 6 months and living together for one and I get alot of criticism for it as well. Ive never dated a guy this much younger than me before I’ve always dated older. For his age he has his life together unlike some guys I’ve dated 6 years older than him. He has his own new car,apartment,pays his own bills and has an amazing job! most guys I know older than me or my age don’t have what he does. We have the same goals in life and a ton of things in common we connect on every level 🙂 I honestly do not see why people make such a huge deal over age! The way i see it is if you love
    someone and connect with someone and you two are extremely happy together then forget what others think!

  • Tamz

    So refreshing to come across a convo that’s so pro-love of younger guys…
    Snowgirl your comments were most appreciated! As a 29 year old female with a 22 year old boyfriend I HATE the fact that people feel it’s perfectly appropriate to air their views about robbing the cradle or stealing a guy’s 20’s when they know nothing about your personalities or relationship. My guy is more emotionally mature than any guys I’ve been with previously. He has been clubbing since he was in his teens and has sown more wild oats than I have. We’ve been together for almost 2.5 years and couldn’t be happier. Neither of us have kids yet but we moved in together 3 months ago and are quite settled down. He pays bills, he does chores, we look after each other and he loves it. I lost my mom to cancer 3 years ago and this guy came along and saved me from myself in a way that no other man possibly could have. I’d never dated a younger guy before him but I have not a single regret. He is my other half, our souls know no age. We may not be a Disney movie but we come pretty darn close and I agree with the comment that some people just feel the need to rain on our Disney parade because it makes them feel better about themselves lol #couldntbehappier

    • msjay

      Glad to see this. Very inspirational, since Im dating a 25 yr old and im now 31. I met him when he was 24, but he is so much maturer than the guys my aged. Ive never dated younger but this one is so different than any other guy I have dated. It feels like we are soul mates. I have never loved like this and have been loved the way he has showed me. I am absolutely happy. We get along so well, and never argue about anything. We are the happiest when we are with each other. He is even great with my son who adores him. My man is responsible. Has been at the same job for 7yrs, has his own car, and apartment and also dresses so stylish and very handsome and charming. We are both leos, so we have so many things in common, especially dressing and looking good. He treats me like some type of rare jewel hes never had. Im simply bliss. Love my younger man, and I definitely have no regrets. His age is def not a big deal. I wouldnt go any younger than his age, but with the age difference there is no age on love. Simple as that.