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Lately, I’ve seen a lot of questions from you guys about dating a younger person. A lot of you are wondering if it’s weird/creepy/not okay to date a dude who’s younger than you. I can totally understand your concerns. But as a girl with a younger boyfriend, I’m here to tell you guys a little secret: it’s seriously no big deal.
I’ve been dating a guy who’s three years younger than me for a little over two years now. I’ve dealt with constant criticism, shocked reactions, confusion as to why I would go younger and questions about what it’s like. Honestly, I’m so sick of people making a big deal about the fact that my boyfriend is younger than me. His age doesn’t matter to me, it doesn’t matter to him and it has never affected our relationship… so why do people care so much?
When I first started dating my boyfriend, my friends were all super excited for me. Everyone asked me the usual questions: what does he look like? Where does he work? Where’s he from? How old is he? The second I said his age, the majority of them raised their eyebrows. “He’s younger than you?” they would ask, confused expressions taking over their faces. “That stinks.”
My reaction to that? I’m a pretty non-confrontational person, so I usually shrug and say, “It’s really not a big deal.” What I really want to do is say, “You’re extremely rude” and walk away, but… that’s not the point. The point is, why do people think it sucks to have a younger boyfriend? I know that typically, girls mature faster than guys, and so a lot of people think younger guys are more likely to be immature and to act like a bad boyfriend. But that’s not the case, at least not for me.
The first time I went on a date with my boyfriend, I’ll admit that I was a tiny bit worried about his age – but my worry was more about what my friends would think than anything else. I knew they were going to tease me about how old he was, but for me, age had always been nothing more than a number, so I decided that I didn’t care. I had several best friends who were a few years younger than me and I got along with them better than I did with some people my own age. How could this be different?
Turns out, it wasn’t. Our first date was amazing and our second, third and fourth dates were even better. Over the last two years, I’ve barely given our age difference a second thought – in fact, I usually forget that he’s younger than me. Sure, he has his immature moments… but so do I! And, sure, he was in sixth grade when I was a freshmen in high school and that sounds creepy. But the more important thing is that we get along really well and he’s my best friend. So, really, his age doesn’t matter.
So, to all of the people who continue to make fun of me for “being a cougar” and going younger: you sound lame. No, seriously, you do. If you’re going to let an age difference of a few years stop you from getting to know someone legitimately cool, that’s something you need to work on. It’s the same as judging someone for their looks or for where they work – it’s unfair. Let’s all agree to stop making age a huge issue and to focus more on someone’s personality than their birthday date. Sound good? Good.
Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Would you? Do you think age difference is a big deal in a relationship? Tell me in the comments.
Confession: I dated an older guy
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So I’ve been doing my research too on this whole age difference thing & wow!! It’s very inspirational to me. But I still get that ugly feeling one day I’m gonna get ditched for a younger bombshell…it really hurts that I actually think of that because I’m scared to face that if it does happen. I’ve never been so soo happy in any of my relationships..I can be me & he let’s me speak freely & express my thoughts & feelings..he don’t judge me its wonderful. So he’s 27 yrs old we are going on 2yrs dating this July2013. We started out as friends only 3months, I finally let the guard go down since I knew he was a good friend of my brother’s. It was like by the 3rd time my bf asked to go out on a date I decided why not this should be interesting…then went out many times later. Now I’m wondering about things…I know its my own insecurities but I catch him looking at other chics! I know its normal to look because that’s just natural to do. I’m a ppl watcher too but when u buy a shirt of a hot young chic makes me think like damn!! I’m a hot 40 something never married, no kids, have an amazing personality, easy going, pretty I feel, smart, I work, responsible of my own things. I take care of business, I’m very energetic, I don’t feel old I look like I’m in my mid 30′s on a good day early 30′s so I’ve been told by others. And not to mention he has a beautiful 6 yr old daughter& was married 6yrs ago. I live with him & his family for now & he’s gonna go to school soon. Omg I need some inspiration here please. Thankyou for reading this story:-)
Correct me if I am wrong, but to me a Cougar means like a 20+ year age difference and the guy has to be like 23 or younger. I’ll admit age stuff get be kinda weird, my BFs best friend is dating a girl almost four years younger than him. My issue? She’s still in high school and he graduated college already. Once she graduates it’ll feel less weird (also my brother, and his little brother is the same age as her so it seems kinda off to me). And really now, 3 years is not that big of a deal. Your friends suck.
So you feel uncomfortable? isnt that your problem and NOT the high school girls issue. See this is the kind of crappy judgement and opinion that people impose on others. So what if her boyfriend has finished college? It is their choice. Their duty is not to please you but to do what they feel is okay with them. Their lives dont have to revolve around whether you approve of it or not. You have a problem and you need to get over it. I am still in school and my boyfriend has completed his postgraduate studies. My relationship has been fantastic. Ive been with him 2 years now and weve managed to keep it quiet though this has been a challenge. I think there are too many people sticking their beaks into other peoples businesses. I dont give a damn what others may think. I just dont want him to get into trouble.
i think that if you DO have a really good relationship, then people will want to find AT LEAST one thing wrong with it, even if it’s something stupid, so they look for things to make a problem out of just so they can rest assured that you, in fact, are not a Disney movie. It makes them feel better about themselves or something. I’ve gotten a ton of “whaaat?!”s and “wow somebody’s into older men!” and my boyfriend’s only a year older than me. whatevs.
So.. I agree there is nothing wrong with an older woman dating a much younger guy. So if this is okay with women why is there such a big problem and difficulty in understanding that it SHOULD be okay for an older guy to go out with a much younger girl.
The first thing is that age differences DO NOT MATTER. Relationships are about the meeting and acceptance of two minds, hearts, souls and spirits. If there is an age difference, SO BE IT.
Why is there such a big fuss. What is all the drama about. Why is there such a social stigma attached to such relationships. Why is society so paranoid. Love happens and happens in the strangest of ways.
So when I have a much older boyfriend, I want society to accept me for that and NOT penalise the guy for going with someone who is much younger. To me its a choice made by the ones in the relationship and has nothing to do with what others think or if they approve or not.
There are bigger issues to get busy and worried about. When two people are in love, just give love a chance. Leave them alone for god’s sake.
We have become such a paranoid society and so goddamn politically correct, even our love lives are being governed by society and law makers. Shameful!!
The only two guys I have ever been involved with have BOTH been younger than I am … It felt strange at first, considering the taboo that younger guys are so ‘immature’, but it really just depends on the person! I know guys my own age and older who have been much less respectable than the two younger guys I went for. And honestly, in the midst of flirting and conversation and generally LIKING someone, age is one of the last things that crosses my mind.
AMEN! You said it! That’s almost the same as me…