7 Reasons Why I Think Being Friends With Benefits Is A Terrible Idea

According to a Match.com yearly survey, 47 percent of single people have been in a friends with benefits relationship at some point in their life. I’m not surprised by this – actually, I might be just a little bit surprised that the number isn’t higher than that. I feel like being friends with benefits is so common… but I don’t think it should be. Why? I think having a FWB is a terrible idea. 

Yeah, that thought comes from my own bad experiences, but it also comes from the bad experiences I’ve witnessed from friends, family members, people I barely know and, of course, movies. There’s a reason a friends with benefits type relationship almost never works out: it is basically a recipe for disaster. Yes, having an FWB can work just fine for a few people. But for most of us, combining the intimacy of sex with a casual relationship just doesn’t mix too well.

If you’re considering starting up an FWB relationship, take these cons into consideration. Trust me, I know it can be tempting… but it can also be asking for heartbreak. Check out my 7 reasons why being friends with benefits is a bad idea and then let me know if you agree.

Do you have a FWB? Have you ever been in a friends with benefits relationship? Do you think it’s a good or bad idea? Tell me in the comments.

 

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6 Comments

  1. avatarKatherine says:

    I had a fwb relationship for about a year with my guy best friend. it was great at first because we were so comfortable together and it made our friendship stronger. but i eventually fell for him and he said he didn’t want a relationship. i’ve now moved on and have been with another guy for almost 4 months and my guy friend has confessed to being in love with me and regretting not realising he wanted to be with me.

  2. avatarpixie says:

    Yeah I have and it sucked coz I got attached after the sex and he claimed he only wanted to be friends. I got insecure and lonely and it pushed him away and he said I was insecure and naive. He dint have feelings. I felt he had someone else and dint want md anymore. I felt sick. We text fought for twenty-four hours and I told him we needed a tine out. After that time out, he has never talked to me since. I miss the friendship , I tried to reach out when I was over it but he wont respond so u let it go

  3. avatarreina says:

    I agree that friends with benefits can lead to bad outcomes . I want to know if it’s normal to still friends with benefits but act together but not wanting a relationship . I’ve been friends with benefits with my bestfriend for about two years , we kinda stopped when we both started going out with somebody , but during that time he always asked that if he was single would he have a chance with me , that he loves me , he wants to be with me but I didn’t quite believe it until he actually started showing it but I really never got attached because I knew it wouldn’t work out . Up to this point everything is fine an nothing really changed except the fact that he wants us to have sex , at the same time I want to agree but I can’t because I don’t want to and I’m not ready , bit what if he tells me he’s developing feelings for me ? but he goes around flirting with other girls ? how can I believe if it’s real or not ? Is it possible to confront him about it and know what he really wants or if he just wants to get laid and leave ?

  4. avatarvan says:

    This article is spot on. I feel like it was written for me. I went throught this exactly. Thry work for only a small minority. I ended up getting attached and liking him only to get burned. It only benefitted him in the end. Its a horrible feeling to like someone who sleeps with others and will end up having a relationship just not with you. I don’t recommend it. Nnever again

  5. avatarSusie says:

    No, I do not think it works unless you have a wall up. I did not want to feel right after my divorce but had a friend who kept asking me about FWB. But I already cared a little for him and hoped he would start caring more for me. I did get emotional and jealous when we went out with our group of friends, and feltl more connected than he did. At first I got the morning after phone call which was considerate, but later, not even that. It didn’t work for me, even at a time when I didn’t think I could connect emotionally. It is settling for less. You are possibly missing out on an opportunity to meet someone who will truly care for you and treat you special.

  6. avatarAmy says:

    I totally disagree with this. My BFF has had a FWB relationship with a guy and she’s so happy! She says one of the reasons it is so good is because they feel comfortable with each other – she’s not worrying about what he thinks about her body etc and they get on really well and talk to each other (This answers the safety question because they both know how many people the other has been with which you might not with random hookup). Another thing she mentioned was that she doesn’t feel guilty about going after other guys or even dating them (she would never have sex with her FWB while dating another guy though). She just get’s to have fun without all the responsibility that comes with a relationship.

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