How Do You Stop Being Jealous?

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SecretUnicorn said:

Ok so, I’m the type of person that doesn’t want to leave my boyfriend’s side. In school we spend all break and lunch hugging, holding hands and sometimes we kiss (not much, our friends make a big deal out of it). I seem to get really moody when he’s too busy to hang out with me or is doing something with his friends. I mean I know hes entitled to spend time with his friends or whatever, but it still annoys me. I hate myself for being moody over something I shouldn’t be.

Another thing is that I’m really easily jealous, especially when it comes to his exes or girls he’s liked in the past. I know he would never cheat, and I trust him with everything but whenever he talks to or hangs out with his exes I keep thinking, “Does he still like her?” or “Does he think shes prettier than me?” and stuff like that.

I really need to stop this because I know our relationship won’t get far if I keep being moody with him for no reason. I know that I’m the one in the wrong, but I cant help it.

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4 Comments

  1. avatarJenni says:

    I know how you feel,I have a boyfriend and this is our 9th month together and it’s long distance plus we just started High school so it’s tough considering we both go to different schools and I don’t know girls over at his school so much..But a relationship just involves trust,I’ve been having the same issues,and my boyfriend knows I’m the jealous type and just overall paranoid and afraid,but the best thing you can do is just think:Well why is he with me ?He must like or love me since he hasn’t broken up with me for some other girl in our circumstances..So just try thinking positively no matter how paranoid or negative you may think,try to expect the best of him and not immediately the worst,he’s with you for a reason otherwise he wouldn’t even be with you.
    -Hope this helps girlyyy!(:

  2. avatarDon't bother says:

    Hey secret unicorn. I was in the same situation just last year. And it didn’t end well. My boyfriend and I broke up cause I tend to get jealous and doubt too much.. How do you stop being jealous? You trust him don’t you? Think of the reasons why you trust him. That’s just it. And if he talks to his ex or whoever and you think he still likes her, ask yourself ‘Why is he still dating me?’ WHY WOULD HE BE DATING YOU IF HE STILL LIKES THE GIRL. Always be positive in your relationship. Because negativity leads to nowhere, my friend. One more thing, if you love him let him go. If he comes back, he was always yours. If he doesn’t, he never was. The situation isn’t exactly the same, but it’s the logic that matters.

    • avatarstephaaa says:

      I’m having that issue right now. My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me because I’m always jealous and getting on his case… You said “let him go, and if he comes back he’s yours, and if he doesn’t, then he never was.” How did this go for you? I’m just wondering because I REALLY want my boyfriend back. we just literally broke up two days ago, and I just can’t let him walk away frm me.

  3. avatarGen says:

    Maybe you should talk about “deeper” with your boyfriend. The way you just talked about your situation, you do seem a little clingy but at the same time (unless you’re affectionately dependent) it’s not normal for you to feel that way. You have to trust your boyfriend with his exes (they are exes actually, so it’s over, don’t worry about it!) and his girl friends the same way he does with you and your guy friends. Wouldn’t you feel hurt if he always doubted your love towards him only because you hang out with your guy friends? Also, if you still feel troubled towards his relations with his exes, you must talk to him about it and let you know how it makes you feel. He may not want to cut the bridges right away with them (and don’t force him to, they might still be really good friends!) but you can ask him not to be too “physical” with them when you’re around, or whatever stuff he does that makes you feel jealous.

    It’s normal to be a little jealous sometimes, but like you said, it’s not normal for you to be like that most of the time and yes, it can affect your couple. Trust is the base of a relationship, and it’s important you trust him as much as he trusts you!

    Take care!

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