If there’s one thing I’ve learned from spending the last two years reading questions from you guys, it’s that orgasms can be tough. Movies, TV shows, porn and books make orgasms seem like the most magical thing a woman can go through (and, okay, they sort of are!). But if you’ve never really experimented with sexual stuff before, it can be hard to know if you’ve actually, you know, had one or not. And it can be even harder to figure out how to have one.
If you’ve ever wondered how to orgasm, don’t worry: you’re totally not alone. It’s really easy for guys to get off, but unfortunately, it’s not so simple for us girls. Things down there are a little bit more complicated. So, how do you have an orgasm? We might not be able to tell you exactly what to do, but we can give you some tips that will definitely help you out. Ready to orgasm? Check out our tips:
Relax!The number one secret to having an orgasm? Five little letters: R-E-L-A-X. If you're stressed about having one or not having one, um, you're probably not going to have one. Thinking about it or worrying about it isn't going to help. So just take a deep breath, calm down and enjoy whatever is happening - if you orgasm, awesome! If you don't, there's always next time. Source: ShutterStock
Set The MoodIn order to relax or get in the mood, you might need to change up some of your surroundings. If nice lingerie gets you in the mood, put some on. If you want a more romantic atmosphere, light some candles and put on some soft music. Want some serious alone time? Go in the bath. Until you can learn to tune out the distractions around you, make your environment super relaxing. Source: ShutterStock
Explore Down ThereAnd I don't mean masturbate (yet). There's a lot going on down there, and you should get to know your body. Sit in front of a mirror and check out what's happening. The fastest way to masturbate is by stimulating your clitoris, so try to figure out where that is. But I wouldn't bother looking for the elusive G-spot. Just focus on figuring out what's what and where everything is. Source: ShutterStock
Be Willing To ExperimentSometimes the first thing we try when attempting to masturbate won't work. If you haven't been able to masturbate through fingering or intercourse, don't feel like you're weird. Just be open to trying new things - look into sex toys, maybe watch porn or think about different techniques. The same things don't always work for everyone, so be open to the possibility that you might need to experiment a little. Source: ShutterStock
MasturbateOkay, now you can masturbate. Exploring your own sexuality is one of the best ways to figure out how to orgasm. Masturbating is great for so many reasons - it's healthy, it will make you feel good and it will teach you more about yourself, just to name a few. Don't forget to relax and enjoy yourself - it may take a while before you get into the right groove. Source: ShutterStock
Do KegelsYes, you can do exercises for your vagina. Kegels will strengthen your vaginal muscles and can make it easier for you to orgasm. Do them by tightening and then relaxing your vaginal muscles (think about what you do when you really have to pee). You can do these anywhere at any time without anyone noticing. Source: ShutterStock
Don't Fake It!When you're with a partner and you feel like the big O just isn't going to happen, don't resort to faking it. First of all, if he finds out, he'll be really hurt. Second of all, that's not going to help you in the future - if a guy thinks he's doing the right thing (but he's actually not), he's just going to do it again. Instead, instruct him on what to do. Believe it or not, guys love the advice. Source: ShutterStock
Just Be ConfidentThis pretty much goes hand-in-hand with relaxing. Maybe you're not orgasming because you're worried about what you'll look like, what you'll say or basically just what will happen. But don't worry about that. Who cares what your O face looks like? Who cares what kind of noises you make? If you're with a dude, he'll be so thrilled you're into it, he won't care. And if you're by yourself, whatever! The orgasm is worth it. Source: ShutterStock
Do you ever have trouble having an orgasm? Do you think these tips are helpful? What would you like to add? Do you have any other sex questions? Tell me in the comments.