How To Have An Orgasm: 8 Tips You’ll Love

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from spending the last two years reading questions from you guys, it’s that orgasms can be tough. Movies, TV shows, porn and books make orgasms seem like the most magical thing a woman can go through (and, okay, they sort of are!). But if you’ve never really experimented with sexual stuff before, it can be hard to know if you’ve actually, you know, had one or not. And it can be even harder to figure out how to have one.

If you’ve ever wondered how to orgasm, don’t worry: you’re totally not alone. It’s really easy for guys to get off, but unfortunately, it’s not so simple for us girls. Things down there are a little bit more complicated. So, how do you have an orgasm? We might not be able to tell you exactly what to do, but we can give you some tips that will definitely help you out. Ready to orgasm? Check out our tips:

Do you ever have trouble having an orgasm? Do you think these tips are helpful? What would you like to add? Do you have any other sex questions? Tell me in the comments.


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  • Elizabeth Gordon

    Hi, I’m Elizabeth! About 5mins ago, I orgasmed for my first time like 5 times!!The method I used was easy! First I got used to it by spitting on my fingers and putting them down there so it would get wet(you can also use water!) Next, I took my pointer finger and you will feel a little circle ball thing. Put your fingers just above it and rub with your pointer finger back and forth really fast. Suddenly, you will feel an amazing ticklish feeling where your clitoris (the circle ball thingy) is, keep rubbing, trust me, your lower abdomen will feel great! Now, concentrate on the ticklish feeling, and think about the person you would like to have sex with, keep rubbing, imagine you and the other person having sex. Suddenly, you will feel an explosion of awesomeness in your stomach and vagina! Your body will shake the longer and faster you rub. You will know when to stop, just don’t rub for too long after you get the ticklish feeling!
    Good luck orgasming! – Elizabeth Gordon

  • Aimee

    I’m 17 and I can get an orgasm in like ten minutes as all I do is just rub myself and then wet my fingers and the slowly at first rub my clitoris and then kind of build up my speed when it feels right and then it feel good and your fingers automatically just keep going and you don’t want to stop so I hope this helps you kind of get an orgasm

  • As I guy, my advice is that if any other guy or girl tells you not to masturbate to just ignore them. It’s not cheating and it’s definitely easier for girls to orgasm if they masturbate and know their bodies well.

  • Stefan

    Faking orgasm is really bad thing. That mean that you are not enough conformable with ur partner, that you are not relaxed and not enjoying it.
    It’s in mind, when u reach that kind of state with ur partner that when u are vurneble u feel conformable, u will have best orgasm ever.

    Also there is Yogasm, where you girl can reach orgasm without touching her clitoris or stimulating. There is video of girl getting orgasm without touching herself on (care its NSFW)

  • Niobe Thalia

    I am offended by your terrible advice to watch porn. The majority of women in porn are there against their will. They are victims of sex trafficking. It is not mentally healthy to get off on seeing women being tortured and humiliated.

    • Jalee Noir

      Um, no offense, but you do know that most porn isn’t sex trafficking victims right? It’s a CHOICE to be a porn star. Those women CHOSE to exploit themselves whether in their own home or on a bogus set. Yes there are some who are forced into it, but they’re not porn stars, sex trafficking is the dirtiest kind of prostitution, not porn.

    • Tyler McCail

      You might want to fact-check that lol. I know you’re wrong, and you posted this 2 years ago, so perhaps you know better now too but holy shit haha. How could possibly have ever thought that? Porn is a big industry consisting of many big companies that would be…ya know…torn apart by their executives and performers being put in prison for very long periods of time, if what you said were true. Nope, sorry, porn is a legitimate industry, like anything else. Porn actresses are no more forced into performing in porn movies than regular actresses are forced into performing in regular movies.

  • Suzan

    If a woman masturbates with a dildo or other object internally while still a virgin, can a man tell when she eventually does lose her virginity?


      Wel,i dnt tink “DOIN IT”means ure cheatn on him! its all based on”EXPLORING MY BODY”znt it!

    • Niobe Thalia

      Virginity is a social construct. Also the gspot is a lie. Penetration is painful for most women to some degree. Very delicate tissues. You should be critical of what society has brainwashed women into doing. Don’t let yourself be pressured into penetration. You don’t ever have to do it. In my opinion the risk are not worth the perceived pleasure.

      • Jalee Noir

        The G-spot is not a lie Niobe Thalia. Google search female anatomy focusing on the G-spot and then come back and resend your comment please.
        The G-spot is a somewhat spongy spot about two inches into your vaginal area and if you turn your fingers in a come hither motion you’ll feel it.

      • Tyler McCail

        Virginity is a social construct… um… ya, I guess lol. It’s also a thing. If you have sex, you aren’t a virgin anymore. The social construct aspect, is the stigma attached to it. Feminism is 100% bullshit at this point. Stop drinking the cool aid. I hope you’re less ignorant than you were when you posted these ridiculous comments. Just because some feminist says some crap, or writes it a book, doesn’t make it so. Learn about science, not feminist theory.

  • Haily

    I still can’t have an orgasm 🙁

  • akouassi97

    awesome tips

    • David c pat

      Wow I have a girl friend that we have good sex . She had started taking some anti de present meds and after that it was impossible to make her come . I tryed a lot and talking some gentle spanks she likes , kissing her pussy , vibraters, bath tub , rubbing my cock all over her .i tryed a lot of new and all the past things she likes . After the med changes !!! All good . Her new doc have her some new mess for hormones inc testosterone . Women girls need that to . Or you may have the wrong partners . Keep it up 🙂 and take your time don’t try to hard or talk yourself onto you never will. Try some adult movies ??? I have no idea about you but I hope I can or have given you some new ideas !!

  • Sheanybird

    If I don’t orgasm within a few minutes, my fiance gets soft and falls asleep. He has implied that it’s too hard to do and takes too long. He loses “steam”. He has a window of opportunity to have sex or he loses interest and his erection. Pressure much? yes. I am a very affectionate and passionate woman and I’m attractive. He says I need more hair down there (no, I don’t shave the main stuff, just what creeps onto the legs). He also says I don’t have a smell…I’m “too clean”. I shower once a day and refuse to let my hygeine go. No fishy smells for me.
    It just really seems like it’s more about his pleasure than mine. His body..not mine. Emphasis seems to be on his erection. No foreplay, not much touching on his part, though i know every bump and hair on his body. I have to initiate, kiss, touch..etc. He is receptive, but only touches me long enough to see if I’m lubed enough to insert. Then, it’s magic and stars for him. I enjoy it, but would really like to have satisfaction too. Yes, I’ve talked with him about it. I’ve introduced toys, sexual instructional videos, books, ambiance, music, lingerie, suppliments, viagra, etc. He has reached complacency and is done wooing. He blames it on being old…he’s 46. I’m 43. He finally has the woman he’s wanted and the relationship he dreamed of for so long but doesn’t want to take the time to please me? Falls asleep while I’m working the toy to get some kind of satisfaction? Really doesn’t want any part in bringing me to orgasm unless it happens quickly? Yes, I give PLENTY of feedback when he is “working” on me. Now that I know it it “work” to him, it makes me even more paranoid. I have already faked it many times to boost his moral and keep it from fizzling. When I really want to acheive an orgasm, I end up having sex with myself while he snores. Very frustrated….talking about it only yields more excuses. I’m feeling the need to back off of the affection I show and rethink my adoration for him. I love him deeply and I know he love me, but this is a real issue.
    I certainly don’t want o be ignored or feel like my pleasure is a burden to him.

    • Jack

      My god you sound like the perfect woman. Dump him and marry any other man.

  • MabelPines

    I don’t really have trouble reaching orgasm and can usually do so in about fifteen minutes. If there is one thing I would say is that give yourself a break otherwise you’ll just get desensitised. I find that every other day works for me.

  • pinkheart

    Since we dont talk about it like guys, I do think its important to hear what works for other gurls. I dont have any problems now but when I first started I couldnt orgasm whenever I wanted but after learning a few techniques that worked and getting my mind on the right things I havent had a problem since. I agree with watching porn, it can be a big help but its not for everyone, and toys are the same but a dildo or a vibrator can rally make orgasming easier and better. Its not as hard as you think to get a vibrator so if you want one I would do it because of the sensations you can feel from them.

    So to answer your questions,
    NO, I dont have a problem orgasming.
    YES, I think the tips are helpful, very helpful.
    I would like to ADD, it would be great if there was more porn for women, like girl friendly stuff. Dont take the men out of porn but have hotter, younger guys with less body hair and obviously nice looking penises.

    And I do have a question. My question is, Is masturbating with a dildo or vibrator frequently amount to cheating if I dont let my bf know what I am doing?

    • kaii

      No, its not, i use mine quite a bit and,my boyfriend likes it

    • Not Magical

      Of course it’s not cheating! The bare minimum for cheating is another person, not a sex toy. It’s none of your boyfriend’s business unless you choose to tell him.

  • Not Magical

    Okay, seriously, we hear enough about relaxing and ‘exploring our bodies’. Let’s get practical. Vibrators*. Good strong shower heads. A dazzling variety of porn. Less celebrating my womanly flower, more jerking off.

    * Silicone’s good. Cleans easily, carries vibration well, soft without being useless, and mine aren’t that noisy.