When I was two years old, I got smacked in the face with the handle of a Red Flyer wagon while playing in my backyard. My mom fondly says I “looked like a bulldog puppy.” She raced me to the ER and because my cartilage wasn’t fully formed, they basically molded my nose back into place.
A year later, I was sporting some jellies that were too big for my feet. My brother and I were in an intense game of tag. I chased him across the street, tripped over those beautiful pink, sparkly sandals and face-planted into the curb. Literally face-planted.
Again, I was rushed to the ER for a broken nose. This time my cartilage was a little more solid, so there wasn’t much the doctors could do. I remember my mom trying to rub Vitamin E oil on my cut up face. Thanks, Mom!
The second time was more serious and left me with a deviated septum, a crack in my nose (I still have it) and a little bump. We weren’t quite sure what I was going to look like as I got older.
When I was in middle school, I had a big awkward phase. (Didn’t we all?) I got taunted for being super skinny and for my nose. Sometimes my ears too because they stuck out a little. My nose didn’t bother me as a kid until other people started pointing it out and then it became this huge insecurity.
I hated my nose and was really distraught about it. My parents told me that if I truly wasn’t happy and wanted to get it “fixed” that I could, but it was my decision. I always appreciated that. I would circle celebrity noses that I liked and became obsessed with this ski-sloped button nose. I had nose envy over my BFF Meredith. She has the cutest nose, even today I’m like “Mere your nose is adorable.” I would Photoshop pictures of myself to see what I’d look like with different noses.
When I hit sophomore year of high school, the braces came off, the unruly hair became manageable and I started growing into myself. I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be happier if I got my nose fixed, but I didn’t want a drastic change anymore. I just wanted it shaved down a little.
I started doing serious research about rhinoplasty, checking out doctors and costs. Then one day I saw something about Jennifer Grey on TV, and I didn’t even recognize her. She starred in Dirty Dancing and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (two movies I LOVE) and had this iconic nose. She was known for her unique look, much like Barbara Streisand. But she got two rhinoplasty procedures and didn’t look like Jennifer Grey anymore. She’s still beautiful, but I didn’t want to not look like me.
Insecurities are so difficult to get over, but I started embracing mine. I realized that with my nose, I look like Caitlin Corsetti and not anyone else (although Sara Bareilles is my celebrity doppelganger). I realized that there wasn’t anything to “fix” because there was nothing wrong with me.
I am so glad that I decided not to go through with it. I still have nose envy over some people, but I would look ridiculous if I had their noses. If I had a different nose, I think I would feel the need to change my personality to match, and I’m not up for that. I love my broken nose and myself just the way we are.
Have you ever thought about plastic surgery for an insecurity? Have you gotten plastic surgery? Were you going to but never went through with it? Tell me in the comments!