You like him, he likes you, you’re having a rad time . . . and then the check comes. Who should pay for a date? Is it always the guy? Is it whoever asked the other person out? Is it whoever makes more money?
It shouldn’t matter that much.
I know it’s customary for the guy to pay, and believe it or not, a lot of guys actually like footing the bill for the girls they like–it makes them feel accomplished, chivalrous and, well, like a man (their words!). But they shouldn’t be expected to do it all the time, otherwise they’re going to feel like you’re only after their wallets, and they may even start humming a certain Kanye West song in your presence. Not cool, right?
Similarly, if you happen to have an after school job and your crush doesn’t, and you pick up the tab for your pizzas and movie tickets, it may not bug you–but if you do it constantly, you may start to resent him if he doesn’t say thanks or show his appreciation in other ways.
Further complicating things? The recession. Dating is tricky for some of us now, because we’re making more money than the guys who ask us out. That can make insecure guys feel emasculated, and it can make you feel a little guilty if a dude wants to pay for a date you when you go out if you don’t think he can necessarily afford to blow that money on you.
The solution is pretty simple: Always bring enough cash to cover both of you and be sure to offer to pay for a date. If the dude insists on footing the bill, let him and be sure to thank him (but don’t feel obligated to repay him in other ways if you’re not into it–lest that make you essentially an escort). You may offer to pick up the check next time, or if he springs for movie tickets, let him know the Raisinets are on you–you get the idea. If he offers to go dutch, no harm, no foul. If he lets you pay for a date, that’s fine too. And if you’re not into that? No worries. At least you know early on enough to cut him loose!
The key is just to appreciate, but not expect. When you both feel like you’re being genuinely appreciated by one another, whether it’s for plunking down a few bucks for pancakes at midnight or for just giving good ear, no one’s going to feel resentful. Then instead of worry about who’s going to pay for a date, you can just focus on whether or not you like each other.
Who do you think should pay for a date? Do you think a guy should always pay for a date or that whoever asked should pay for a date? Should you guys go dutch to pay for a date? Tell us in the comments!