The Traumatizing Moment That Made Me Hate Valentine’s Day

Okay, so before I start this story, I have to point out that it really wasn’t that traumatizing. I mean, yeah, for me it sort of was, but now that I’m older, I can look back and wonder why this was so important to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t like Valentine’s Day… and it’s all this story’s fault.

Here’s what went down.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had just started dating my very first boyfriend, D. Obviously, I was really excited to finally have a Valentine’s Day that involved more than just roses and chocolate from my dad (although, looking back…). D was romantic, so I pictured bouquets of flowers being sent to me during class, boxes of chocolates waiting by my door and a diamond necklace in a pretty little package. You know, the normal things 15-year-olds do for each other.

In my school, we had Candy-Grams every year on Valentine’s Day. You could buy a Candy-Gram for $1 for someone and they were delivered to the class at the beginning of every period (picture the candy cane grams scene in Mean Girls and you’ll see what I’m getting at). I figured D would get me a few Candy-Grams and the day before, I wondered how many I would get… I settled on a minimum of four but was open to the possibility of more than that.

Um, let’s just say things didn’t go as planned. First period came along, and a student came into the class to give out bags of Candy-Grams. I smiled, waiting for mine… and it never appeared. Second period happened, and still no Candy-Gram. During homeroom, my friends ate their chocolate and asked me why I wasn’t eating mine. “Um… I didn’t get one. Yet,” I said.

I mean, was it so hard to get one of these?! | Source: ShutterStock

I mean, was it so hard to get one of these?! | Source: ShutterStock

By fifth period, I still hadn’t gotten one and I was pissed. Everyone in my classes knew I was dating D and everyone kept asking why he hadn’t bought me one. Every time they asked, I tried to act nonchalant on the outside, like “Oh, we’re so above Candy-Grams”, but on the inside, I wanted to start crying. Every other girl who had a boyfriend had gotten a Candy-Gram… except for me.

The worst part was that all of my single friends had bought each other Candy-Grams, but no one had bought me one because they figured I would get a bunch from my boyfriend. During lunch, my best friend was mortified and tried to explain, “I’m sorry, J,” she said, her cheeks pink. “I really thought D would get you some.”

Well, D never got me one. At the beginning of 9th period, I waited, thinking maybe this was a joke and he had gotten me some for the end of the day to surprise me. But the Candy-Gram dude came and left, and I was still empty-handed. That was it. I hid in the bathroom and cried.

At the end of the day, D met me at my locker as usual. “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe!” he chirped, like everything in the world was fine and happy.

“Happy Valentine’s Day? Happy Valentine’s Day?!” I seethed. “Are you kidding me? If you don’t want to be with me anymore, you could at least just tell me.” Then I ran out of the school crying. What can I say, I have a flair for the dramatic.

When D called me frantically trying to figure out what he had done wrong, I confronted him about the Candy-Grams like a sort of normal person. He seemed confused, saying that he had no idea the Candy-Grams were such a big deal, and if he’d known, he would have gotten me some. The apology barely helped… I was embarrassed. The whole school had seen him publicly diss me! It sucked.

It's about who you're with, not what you get. | Source: ShutterStock

It’s about who you’re with, not what you get. | Source: ShutterStock

Ever since then, I’ve learned to manage my expectations for this holiday. I know it sounds like a silly story, but at the time, it wasn’t silly to me. It made me realize a lot of things and also made me hold a grudge against the holiday forever.

Here’s why I dislike Valentine’s Day: there are so many expectations, especially for gifts. But now, in my mind, V-Day is a day dedicated to celebrating the love you have for someone awesome. I feel like it’s turned into a day dedicated to who can get the sweetest gift from their BF, and that’s not what it should be. (Also, I was a waitress for 7 years, and as this is one of the busiest restaurant days of the year, it’s never been super fun.)

Since my Worst Valentine’s Day Ever, I’ve stopped putting so much pressure on my boyfriends to get me amazing gifts and I’ve started viewing it as just a day where I can enjoy them as people. Yeah, I like to get some candy (because I like candy!), but the holiday just isn’t something I’m big on.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? What are your bad V-Day stories? Would you be upset if this happened to you? Tell me in the comments.


Why you might hate your V-Day gift

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  • Sara

    Two years ago was my first Valentine’s Day with my first and only boyfriend ever. I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day because of the cute little heart and flower stuff, and I love making cards for people. Now, my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, which can definitely complicate things.

    I made him a beautiful handmade card with a long and extremely heartfelt message in it. It was my masterpiece. So a couple days before Valentine’s Day, we were talking on the phone and I asked him what he’d done that day. He said that he went to the store and got some Valentine’s Day stuff for his mom, and I asked, “Did you get anything for anyone else?” and he said, “Maybe…” in that happy, don’t-be-silly-of-course-I-got-you-something kind of tone. So I told him I made him a card and was sending it to him soon.

    So, it gets to be Valentine’s Day. I was 19 at the time, and when you spend 20 Valentine’s Days without anybody ever giving you anything, you get really, really excited when somebody likes you and is gonna give you something cute. FINALLY, it was my turn to partake in this happy, sappy, stupid holiday I’ve always liked.

    So as soon as the mail came that day, I ran outside to check it. I opened the mailbox, expecting my card, but nothing! Drat. It’ll come tomorrow.

    The next day came, and again, nothing!

    By Wednesday I was SURE it’d be there. Then Thursday, Friday, and Saturday came, and there wasn’t a single thing in the mail for me.

    Finally after a week and a half went by, I asked him, “Did you even get me anything for Valentine’s Day?”


    And then I asked him why he lead me to believe he’d gotten me anything.

    He said he didn’t know, and didn’t really remember our conversation, but he thought he may have gotten me a card but left it at his brother’s house.

    I honestly couldn’t bring myself to actually believe that, so I asked him, “Well do you remember walking into a store, picking out a card for me, paying for it, and then leaving it at your brother’s house?”

    Now he was getting irritated and said, “I don’t know, Sara!”

    We’re still together, and I know he really does love me, but he has no idea how much he hurt my feelings that year. I wasn’t expecting a hundred dollars worth of fancy chocolate or a new puppy. I wasn’t even expecting jewelry or a stuffed animal. All I thought I was getting was one simple card, and even that was too much to ask. I don’t think anybody should feel obligated to celebrate a holiday if they don’t want to, but the fact that he didn’t even think of me once when he knew I was sending him a card really upset me.

    And the worst part was, he wouldn’t even fess up to being a thoughtless jerk about the whole thing. I asked him why he lead me to believe he was getting something when he really wasn’t, and why exactly he didn’t get me anything, but the only answer I ever got to those questions was “I don’t know.” So either my boyfriend suffered some very selective short-term memory loss in the winter of 2011, or he didn’t want to admit to making a mistake.

    I know some girls will throw a fit if their boyfriend doesn’t do something extravagant for Valentine’s Day, but trust me, that’s not me. All I wanted was for him to think about me because I thought about him. Yes, it’s a dumb holiday, but I like it. Was some honesty and a stupid card really that much to expect?

  • Rose

    My reason isn’t as big as yours there not a huge story…but! I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything in 7th grade and I thought they were stupid in that grade anyway. but apparently when I wasn’t looking ALL of my good friends who I sat with were buying tickets to the dance and uying candy grams…I though one of them would buy me one as a friend..nothing happened…my other friends got one the had candy and roses and everyone was all mushy and gushy my crush had a girlfriend…I just felt so alone…I also got nasty chocolate from my parents so that was the icing to the horrible cake…I just wanted to cry because I had no escape! everyone was bragging and so so happy online every website I went on: valentine ideas, valentines date ideas, valentines music, lovey dovey, mushy gushy, ooey gooey, love! I didn’t feel that..I felt sad..I felt alone and I’ve just despised this holiday since.

  • ShayShampagne

    Oh gosh Im so sorry. My ex-boyfriend got me chocolate covered strawberries when I’ve told him on numerous occasions i absolutely HATE chocolate. I was happy I had gotten something but…. it made me sad that he hadn’t even been listening to me.

  • Maya

    im sorry to say it since it obviously was a big deal for you at the time, but i really dont see why. my school sells roses and chocolate covered strawberries, but i couldnt care less if my boyfriend got me some actually, id be quite surprised!) all i really want is to be able to spend some time with him, maybe go on a hike! i do agree with you on the fact that v-day is now a overblown commercial holiday, to me it should be pretty much like any other day, just with a bit more emotion (: