Guys who cheat are generally selfish douchebags. That goes without saying: If you make a commitment, break it and are dishonest about it, that’s a pretty scumbag move, right? So then why do we get so mad at the other girls when it’s the guys who cheat on us? Even when that guy is . . . Zayn Malik from One Direction! (Gosh, it pained me to write that, because I love them.)
Here’s what supposedly went down: Zayn has been dating Perrie Edwards from the U.K. girl group Little Mix for a while now–well over a year–and they even live together. Now, a girl named Courtney sold a story about having sex with Zayn to a tabloid. She said she didn’t know he had a girlfriend and that he insisted he was single, but that when she got to his bedroom, she saw a lot of Perrie’s things around–fake eyelashes, shoes, even a photo of them together (yikes!). Of course, once she pieced it all together she could have peaced out, and it’s a little shady that she sold her story knowing Perrie was going to see it. Courtney got a lot of vitriol from Internet commenters and Directioners when the story broke (she took pics to prove it, which–again–is a little shady, but still. It takes two to tango.)
But here’s the thing: She’s not the one in the relationship. Zayn is.
Courtney and “the other girls“ didn’t cheat on Perrie or you or anyone else. Guys who cheat often try to spin it to get the two girls involved pissed at each other, but really, guys who cheat are the ones who owe you something–not the girls they cheat with!
Think about it this way: Guys who cheat usually lie to their girlfriends about it, right? So chances are, they probably lied to the girls they’re cheating with, too.
Being cheated on sucks. It hurts. It makes you sad, it makes you angry, it makes you embarrassed–and it kind of tears you up, because you don’t want to think that someone you liked or loved a lot has it in them to play you out. You might try to channel that frustration into hating or even slut-shaming on whoever he did his dirt with while you were together. That’s a somewhat normal reaction, and I can sort of understand it–but it’s not the healthiest or best one.
Guys who cheat are tricky to deal with, and every situation is different. But if you suspect he’s a real rat, bashing the girl (or worse, girls) he hooked up with won’t fix anything. If someone cheats consistently, you don’t need to look at or blame anyone else. You just need to get out of that relationship–or at least ask yourself why you don’t think you deserve someone who cares about your feelings, because guys who cheat don’t care about you, and have very little regard to your feelings when they’re getting it in somewhere else with someone else. And for the record? You do deserve better. And chances are, so does she.
Do you blame guys who cheat or the girls they cheat with more? Do you think girls should take back guys who cheat? Tell us in the comments!