The news is out there now that “Jelena” is no more, and this weekend our girl took to the stage for a UNICEF benefit concert. Apparently, she picked a couple intriguing songs to sing for the crowd – “Cry Me A River” and “I Knew You Were Trouble.” Hmmm.
While it’s not like she announced that she was directing these songs at Justin by name, it did feel a little bit like a vengeful dig in the wake of their break-up. When we’re upset, many of us want revenge to make our ex really feel like they’re missing out now. It’s a natural feeling. The only issue is that revenge can cause a whole lot of problems for you.
When you hear the word “revenge,” it can make you immediately think of mean things, but it doesn’t have to be like that. Honestly, making your ex realize how amazing you still are without him around is really the best type of revenge, and you can definitely do it without it being a total mean-fest. Here’s a few dos and don’ts on getting this kind of revenge:
DON'T Try To One-Up HimBieber sang "Cry Me A River" at a post-break concert, and now Selena is too? It could be coincidence, but it doesn't look great. Revenge on TV or in movies is sometimes showed as a competition about who can best the other person. If you do that though, you'll get stuck in this cycle forever and he'll probably think you can't get over him. If you don't move on, you really can't get any revenge. Source: Alberto Reyes/WENN.com
DO Watch Your WordsIt can be tempting to use your words to exact revenge, but especially when everything can live online forever, those words can really come back and haunt you. Think about how public Taylor is with her break-up songs. Ultimately it's her life and choice, but it does leave some people feeling not so great about the way she goes about displaying some of those guys in the songs. Just be careful with what you say about the whole situation. Source: FayesVision/WENN.com
DON'T Be A Mean GirlI know, you are probably thinking that’s basically the point of revenge. But seriously, no. The world has too many sad and bad things going on for us to keep tearing people down, even if they've hurt us in the past. We've covered this by minding what you say in public, but also think about how you act. In addition to not speaking any kinds of rumors or rude remarks, pranks or things like that are no good. He won't feel like he's missing out on hanging out with a mean girl. Source: Shutterstock.com
DO Take Your TimeWhen you're hurt, you can feel like you want to get revenge ASAP. You've heard the expression "Revenge is a dish best served cold," right? Take your time. If you try to go out there and prove how happy you are (when you're feeling anything but happy), it'll be obvious that you're trying to get a rise out of him and that won't look good. Don't feel like you need to prove anything to anybody right away, so just take some time to regroup and feel good about you. Source: Shutterstock.com
DON'T Obsess About Getting Back At HimI know, it sounds like if you want revenge you should focus on them all the time, but seriously don’t. You'll drive yourself crazy, and time does tend to help you heal. If people still see you totally dwelling on a guy you want revenge on, it's not going to be a good look. You certainly won't get any sort of positive revenge if people don't want to hang out because you continually keep scheming. Source: Shutterstock.com
DO Focus On YouBreak-ups happen and its super easy to blame the other person which is what motivates our revenge. However, focusing just on them doesn’t give you the time to think back on what went wrong and maybe things you’ll want to do differently next time around. It doesn't mean blame yourself for what happened, but instead of focusing all your energy on affecting your ex, instead focus on changes you can make that'll make you way happier moving forward (definitely good revenge). Source: Shutterstock.com
DON'T Bring In Other PeopleNo matter what happened, this is something between you and your ex - and as we just said, you really only can change how you handle the situation. Using someone else to make your ex jealous or spreading rumors about his new girlfriend may seem like ways to get revenge, but really, that's just mean. All there will be are more hurt feelings and people may not stay on your side no matter the original situation. Source: Shutterstock.com
DO Things That Make You Smile!Find the things that you really enjoy doing and just be happy. It may sound strange that to get revenge you shouldn't even think about the person, but it's really the best way. Being happy without someone is the ultimate revenge, but you won't be happy unless you get out and do all the things you love. Source: Shutterstock.com
And Finally.... DO Show Off The Happy You!Okay, so I don't mean get a whole paparazzi crew to follow you around or anything, but I do mean that you shouldn't be shy about showing off how happy you are without him anymore. Got into a great college or had a totally amazing night out for your birthday? You can let people know! Stop fixating on getting revenge and start enjoying your life. When he sees that and feels that twinge of regret, it'll be the real revenge. Source: Shutterstock.com
Have you ever tried to take revenge on an ex? What happened? Do you agree that being happy is really the best kind of revenge? Tell us in the comments!