Full disclosure: I can be pretty awkward sometimes. Like, worse than the TV show. Most of the times I can mask it, but there’s one area where I usually can’t get around it, and that’s on a date.
Combine my awkwardness with an equally awkward dude, and you pretty much have a perfect storm for a disaster date.
I had known this guy Louis (changing his name to protect the awkward) for a while–we’d see one another around at parties and shows with mutual friends. I always thought he was cute and hilarious, but he also has a dry sense of humor (I do too!), so whenever I’d talk to him we’d just make fun of each other and go about our business. He never asked for number or anything, so I just assumed he actually hated my guts. It turned out, though, that we basically were acting like little kids with crushes in a sandbox: “Oh, you’re hot. Let me throw rocks at you!”
After about two months of back and forth name calling, eye rolling and insults, he finally asked me to come hang out at a comedy show he was on. I went, and we didn’t hug hello or anything–and there were lots of people around. The most physical interaction we had was limited to high five, and I might have play punched his arm or something. As a result, no one around–myself included–was sure what was up.
As a result of that, while Louis was onstage, two other guys starting hitting on me separately and tried to pick me up. (This probably wouldn’t have happened twice if it were remotely clear that Louis was interested or vice versa.) This continued after he was offstage, but he didn’t seem to know what was happening until I texted him “HELP,” at which point he came over and was like, “Can I talk to you for a second? Like, all the way over there?”
At the end of the night, which was pretty consistently awkward, Louis walked me to my car, and I offered to drop him off back in front of the comedy club where he’d been performing since his friends were still there. I turned on my hazard lights and was blocking traffic and had my seatbelt on. Figuring that maybe we hadn’t been on a date after all, I went to hug him goodbye . . . and he tried to kiss me.
Almost as a reflex, I sort of involuntarily moved my head. He missed.
I hadn’t intended to diss him at all, I’d just assumed he wasn’t interested, so I wasn’t mentally prepared for what had just gone down. I was sort of mortified by the whole thing, but he just laughed, “That was awkward,” said goodnight and peaced out.
After facepalming my whole way home, I texted him apologizing: “Sorry for being awkward. If I knew that was coming, I wouldn’t have put my seatbelt on so fast.”
We’re going out again. It’s probably still going to be awkward, but at least we’re both a lot more aware of what we’re in for this time around.
Have you ever been called awkward? Have you ever gone out with an awkward guy? What’s the most awkward date you’ve ever been on? Tell us in the comments!