But I’m happy to live vicariously through you and help! I remember those days and what it’s like. I saw this problem on the boards this week: is it okay for me to date my best friend’s ex? I was instantly transported back to my younger years. I’ll go into my story in a minute, but let’s see what y’all had to say!
Trust me when I say that you should be putting your friend first. You are a teenager. Relationships with guys will come and go, as will your feelings for these guys. Your friends are the ones who will be there for you through the difficult things in your life and I would say that you need to respect your friends feelings. Obviously, she can’t control you, but it would be pretty disrespectful to date this guy at this point. The only other option is to try and talk with her about it and share your honest feelings and see if you can come to a compromise.
I’m maybe the minority when it comes to my feelings on this situation. If she is done and over with him, and also hops guy to guy, then I don’t know why it’s any of her business. You could lose her friendship, so it’s something to think about. But if you really like this guy, then I think she’s abusing the friendship card when it comes to you spending time with him. It’s all about what you stand for in situations like these. I think it depends on how and why they broke up. If he was a dirt bag, then stand by your friend. But if not, then it’s none of her concern who you date. Just my two cents.
You definitely have to do a cost-benefit analysis here.
Your friend does not own you and does not own her ex. You can do what you want and she should respect that, especially since she is already dating someone else. However, as someone who is currently dating a friend’s ex, I will tell you that your relationship with her will never be the same. For me, I was willing to make that sacrifice because I knew she was not worth losing him over. I still feel that same way after over a year of dating him – that may not be true for you.
Ask yourself: Do you ACTUALLY have feelings for this guy, or do you like him because you’ve been single for a long time and he likes you? Is a relationship with him something that you see lasting a significant amount of time? What will your life be like without her?
This is such a touchy subject, but I have to go with NO. Even if your friend is dating someone else. You do not go after your friends’ exes. I dated a guy for a very long time, and when we broke up he started dating my best friend (like absolute-grew-up-together best friend) behind my back. Had she asked me beforehand if it was okay with me I still wouldn’t have been okay with it. It’s just not okay. And I could never imagine doing that to one of my friends.
Think about it. You’re dating someone, being intimate, sharing your life and heart with this other person, but you break up. So then imagine that person with your best friend, or even a good friend really. NO. That just doesn’t fly. The only way I would say to go for it is if you and said guy talk to your friend about it, and she gives her blessing. I still feel weird about it with approval.
Do you think it’s okay to go for your friend’s ex? What if your friend has moved on? Tell me in the comments!
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