Ask A Guy: My Boyfriend’s Friend Is Flirting With Me… Help!

Hi Ethan,

One of my boyfriend’s best friends has been flirting with me for a while now. It always makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don’t want to say anything and start a big problem. The other day he made it clear that he wants to hook up with me. I feel totally awkward and weird. What am I supposed to do?!

A boyfriend’s female “best friend” can cause trouble, but most people don’t realize that a boyfriend’s male best friend can cause just as much. It’s uncomfortable enough when a guy you’re not into won’t let up—but when that guy is besties with the guy you like most of all, that’s one sticky situation. (Though on the bright side, at least you know you’re a hot commodity!)

Your first course of action is to ignore your boyfriend’s friend entirely. Pretend you aren’t picking up on his gestures — or if that’s impossible, demonstrate your lack of interest by not making any effort to engage him. Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys out there who don’t know how to take a hint, which means you’ll likely have to take further action.

If this guy has already “made it clear that he wants to hook up” (i.e. by saying so, moving in for a kiss, or wildly gyrating his hips in his underwear), then you have no choice but to confront him head on. Take him aside and politely explain in private that you are happy in your current relationship and have no interest in testing the waters with him. You can also remind him that he’s putting his own friendship with your boyfriend at risk.

At this point he should get the message… but if you still feel that you haven’t gotten through to him after explicitly laying out the deal, you have every right to tell your boyfriend. Don’t worry about causing a stir. You should never have to put up with harassment. Most importantly, your boyfriend will be thankful, as any guy who so blatantly betrays his “best friend” by attempting to steal his girlfriend is, in reality, no real friend at all.

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

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Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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  • OriGurl

    Tell your bf! One time my BFFs bfs BFF hooked up with her after flirting a lot and it turned out BAD!!!

  • flirting women/a>

    you have every right to tell your boyfriend. Don’t worry about causing a stir. You should never have to put up with harassment. . . couldn’t agree with this any more than I do!