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Me, the Queen of Clueless!
I am good at a few things: eating Nutella with a spoon, hoarding lip gloss and writing about my love life. One thing I am not good at? Managing my love life - this has become painfully clear. I have a pretty popular YouTube channel where I dispense dating advice to teens, but when it comes to my own life, I’m totally clueless. It’s weird how advice works that way, isn’t it? You have so much clarity with other people’s problems but your own are, like, SO COMPLICATED YOU GUYZ.
So I figured I’d enlist y’all for help. Each week, I’ll update you on my love life and then ask you how I should handle certain situations. And unless you tell me to shave my head or something, I’ll obey.
First up: The Saga of My Ex Boyfriend.
M and I dated last year and it was magical, the stuff of happy Taylor Swift songs. It was a sleeping puppy on your lap, the best movie on TV, a pantry full of your favorite snacks type of wonderful. But when he “got scared” and ran away, it was the stuff of bad Taylor Swift songs. It was sitting in a dry bathtub and crying for two hours. It was pure, uncut misery.
I’ll admit it: I’ve never gotten over him. But lo and behold, he came crawling back last week wanting another chance. He says he’s grown up and is ready for a real, mature relationship.
“I just want the chance to prove to you that things can be different,” he said. And, because I’m still in love with him, I told him I’d give him that chance. I was cautiously ecstatic.
LOL JK! “The New M” lasted one week. One. And now he’s back to his usual crap—flaking on plans, not really asking me out, vague pointless texting—and it’s killing me.
Here’s where the plot thickens. There’s another guy, B, who I’ve been slowwwwwly getting to know and the kid is a prince. He treats me the way M used to, but, the thing is, he isn’t M. He’s B. And I don’t know how much chemistry we have. M has cast this awful shadow across all of my subsequent romances…but is that kind of passion and intensity sustainable?
Now, the plot gets even thicker: I have a free stay at a completely adorbs bed n’ breakfast in Vermont this weekend—who do I invite?
Do I ask M and give him a second (make that 100th) chance, even though he’s been such a crap weasel? Or do I throw caution to chemistry and take B and see if I actually fall for the good guy for once? Vote! Help!
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What would you do if you were in my situation? Have you ever taken back an ex? Did it work out? Does it ever? Tell me in the comments! And visit me at my website or follow me on Twitter!
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Would You Rather?
Would You Rather?
Saw the votes and it’s pretty clear what people think… I know exactly how it is with a guy like M. They aren’t ready for any kind of commitment, but still want to have you around. And because you are blindingly in love you always forgive them and think they can change. Every time you think you had enough they come back and want’s to start over, because they get scared when they realize you might move on. But a real relationship? No. I know it sucks, but the best thing is to let him go…
The other guy, B, is worth giving a chance! I know it’s hard, but I really hope you can do it!
Blarrrgh you are so right! They just want you on the hook IN CASE they feel lonely or need an ego stroke. Or any other kind of stroke for that matter, I imagine. Jerks.
I know that you should probably go for B and look back (or at least try him out
), but I also know that you could have some doubts and wonder about M. So I would simply tell him that if he is more mature like he says he is, than he has to cut the crap and prove it by treating you the way you deserve!
Basically, make M cut the crape or invite B (who sounds great
<3 ) . Hope it works out well for you!