Boards
One of the best bits of advice I ever received was “Don’t mistake rudeness for intimacy.” AKA, peeing with the door open doesn’t mean you and your BF are bonding. In our TMI culture, it’s uber easy to overshare, but I’ve learned the hard way that when it comes to your dating life, you’re better off zipping the lip on certain subjects…
Whatever the Dermatologist Told You
Oh you have a weird rash? Terrible bacne? Congratulations, those are just about the least sexy things to discuss ever. Discuss it with your mom, your friends, your sister. But NOT the new dude you just started seeing. He doesn’t want to hear it. Would you?
The Dream You Had Last Night
OMFG is there anything worse than someone describing a dream in all of it’s meandering nonsense? “And then there was this walrus but he, like, wasn’t a walrus but he was also kind of a walrus and then there was this big chili pepper--” I just bored myself writing that sentence. Imagine how your date feels.
Your Period
“Sorry, it’s my week off,” is my go-to statement about Aunt Flo--and that’s all I say. No discussion of cramps or tampons or ruined underwear. Menstruation is such a foreign thing for boys that trying to wrap their head around it makes the feel disgusted, terrified and confused all at the same time. Save the period talk for your girlfriends.
That Thing He Did Wrong...8 Months Ago
The golden rule of fighting is to avoid bringing up past crap. If you’ve already argued and made up about something ages ago, leave it buried where it belongs. Keep your current tiffs on current topics.
How Much You Hate His Mom
Everyone knows that you can bitch about your own family 24/7 but if someone else dares to chime in and agree? Murder! This can be hard to avoid if he’s always griping about his family--you naturally want to agree and support him--but that could put you on the losing end of a mom-girlfriend battle royale.
Your Recent Bout of Food Poisoning
There’s something about being sick that makes us want to share every gory detail with everyone we meet but please for the love of God keep any food poisoning deets to yourself on a date. It’s basically the anti-Viagra.
All The Things You Hate About Yourself
We all have that friend who can’t stop asking if she looks fat. It’s annoying isn’t it? But hey, we’re girls, we understand. Guys do not. They don't want to hear you obsess about your wobbly bits or too-small boobs. Take a cue from the One Direction song and realize that they aren’t looking at you through a critical lens--they love all those little things and you should too!
His Skinny Calves/Small Biceps/Man Boobs
This is not a joke, people. I once made the mistake of pointing out an ex’s skinny calves--BIG MISTAKE. That’s like circling a girl’s cellulite, apparently. Guys, like girls, have a whole list of things they hate about themselves that never even occur to us--scrawny forearms?? What?--so be careful what you tease him about. It just may be his Achilles heel.
His Ex
The more you talk about his ex girlfriend, the more he’ll assume that you’re threatened by her. And that will make you look weak and petty. He’s with you, not her, so unless there’s a real tangible reason to be all twisted up about her (like they’re still hanging out, he won’t put away her pics, etc) treat her as if she’s a non-factor.
Your Ex
I talk about my exes so much I wrote a book about them but trust me, the guy you’re currently dating wants no part of your past. Like, none. It’s a ridick sentiment, but guys like to try to convince themselves that you never loved/kissed/bedded ANY male before them. Do you want to hear the ins and out of his last conquest? Didn’t think so.
What do you think about keeping some things mum in front of dudes? Have you blabbed about any of the above?Tell me in the comments!
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I tell people about my dreams all the time! i made the mistake off telling a guy i liked that in my dream he was a ballerina
Stereotypical woman at her best! Boys don’t wanna hear about your dreams silly girl. You’re period? They aren’t mature to know that yet. He’s only 13 for goodness sake. I could continue because this article is craziness.
i agree, they’re equally daginamg but a guy having sex with a female other then his girl, on the side is worse. cheating is cheating babe, no doubt. it doesn’t make the situation any better, even IF you’re still giving your girl 110%. sharing you sex with someone other than your partner defeats the entire purpose of a relationship.love this post!
I talk to guys about half of these things all the time, sometimes they even ask me so idk what the big deal is. I know about the hating mom thing and his ex but some of those things are fine to talk about
Me too but maybe you are just the type of person they can feel comfortable around
“any man who feels the need to be grossed out by my vagina the one week each month that it bleeds, doesn’t deserve the chance to fuck it the other three weeks.”
LOL , Isis , best quote ever!
Well, that was the most idiotic advice I’ve ever read. So, you are supposed to have some intimacy with a boyfriend, but tell him nothing about the stuff that goes on with your body (ie rashes, food poisoning, dreams, PMS)? What do you propose that we all do, put on the perfect, no-shitting, no burping, no period Barbie facade? Get real!
And another thing: any man who feels the need to be grossed out by my vagina the one week each month that it bleeds, doesn’t deserve the chance to fuck it the other three weeks.
I totally talk to my boyfriend about weird rashes I get, the goings on of my uterus, and my dreams and he is not in the least put off by it. Some of those things I for sure agree with, but I don’t think people should be shamed for talking about what’s going on with their body and health.
I’ve never talked about those things with any guy that I have dated and I’m single now. The really funny part is that they left me to date girls that talked about those things and more…
Sorry, but I’ll have to disagree about the menstruation one: if I’m having terrible cramps, I’m going to tell my boyfriend. If he’s too immature to be sympathetic to the pain because of what’s causing the pain, then he’s certainly not mature enough to be dating girls! Honestly–menstruation has become a social taboo and has led people (women included) that menstruation makes people “dirty” and that people should feel nervous and awkward when buying pads, tampons, etc. It’s ridiculous. And I hoped that a pro-feminist blog wouldn’t encourage that idea. If we want people to accept that menstruation is a normal part of life and shouldn’t be treated how it is, then we have to stop making it a taboo.
Totally agreed. I don’t tell my bf about every single detail about my period but he’s aware when i have it, if cramps are killing me (most the time) and if i have started my contraceptive cycle. He is open about it and so am I. His mom even bought him a moon callendar.
I don’t go out on the streets telling everybody, yet when you are comfortable with your bf you can talk about it, since it is no big deal. I try not to creep him out with details about my favorite tampons or so, but i don’t make it a taboo either.
I see nothing wrong with sharing your dreams with your boyfriend. Personally my dreams are awesome and my boyfriend always loves hearing the strange stories my brain comes up with during the night.