I dated this guy for about three years in college, and we had a pretty nasty breakup. We both moved on but didn’t speak for a very long time.
Well I heard from him recently. He said he still thought about me all the time, but he’s been channeling everything that went wrong into making his new relationship work. I felt like he was checking in to see if I was miserable because he was finally happy with someone else.
I didn’t want the conversation to carry on. So when he was going on about his newfound love, I said I was glad that he was happy and I truly hoped things work out for them. I meant it, but he seemed surprised.
It can be really difficult to say you’re happy for your ex, but here are ten reasons why I really am.
Our relationship became toxic
After about a year, we were fighting constantly and threatening breakups every other week. If we were still together, it would have just gotten worse every day.
He's not my mess anymore
I felt like a mom more than a girlfriend most of the time. Yes, you want to take care of who you’re dating but without feeling like a parent.
He needed someone different from me
I’m a pretty anxious and intense person, and he was super laid back about everything. Opposites attract, but sometimes not enough to last.
I didn't want to move to Florida
I’m a Southern girl, but I always had a life plan to move to New York. He wanted to move back home after college and live in Florida. Forever. My hair can’t handle that humidity.
I learned a lot
As tumultuous as it was, I can say that I learned a lot during the course of our relationship. Looking back, I know how to deal with issues that I didn’t before. Moving forward, my relationships will be much more healthy.
I grew up
Two years ago, I wouldn't have written this article. That relationship kept me in a very immature state of my life where I was trying to move forward, but I just couldn’t because I was stuck.
I moved on quickly after our relationship ended, but he didn’t. I was the bad guy. So to see him really move on with someone who’s right for him makes me feel better.
I've dated some great guys since then
I had another serious relationship after this one, which I am so grateful for even though it didn’t work out. But I’ve dated some really wonderful guys.
He's really happy
And that makes me happy. I was with him for three years, and while I don’t have feelings for him anymore, I still care about his wellbeing.
I'm really happy
If I were miserable, I’d probably get really thrown off whenever I heard from him. But I’m not, so all is well.
There are some exes that I don’t like to hear from ever, but it’s really nice to have those that still care about how you are. I’m not going to go hang out with this one in my spare time or anything. It’s comforting to know that we don’t hate each other like we did right after our breakup.
It takes a while to get to the point where you can be happy about your ex being with someone else. Or just being in general. Most of the time it has to do with you being happy with yourself.
Is your ex dating someone new? How do you feel about it? Are there any exes that you’re truly happy for? Tell me in the comments!