Okay, full disclosure: I was pretty chunky for the better part of a year. I gained a bunch of weight–a good 10 to 15 pounds–and since I’m only 5’0,” it looked like a lot. For reference: I was never terribly skinny to begin with–I was actually mistaken for the gloriously curvy Kim Kardashian in a Tokyo airport once.
Here’s how it happened: I was home alone, and I have a habit of sitting with one leg curled under me. As a result, that foot falls asleep a lot. My doorbell rang, I ran downstairs to answer, and wound up twisting the heck out of my foot. Because it was asleep, I didn’t feel it right away–but when I got to my front door, I thought I was going to die. (For the record: It was a stranger asking me if I needed Jesus. After yelping in agony, I informed him that he would meet Jesus if they didn’t get off of my porch.)
I wound up breaking a bone in that foot (my metatarsus, which sounds like a dinosaur, doesn’t it?), so I couldn’t work out much . . . so I taught myself how to bake to pass the time. I’m not sure why I didn’t expect the end result to be none of my pants fitting, but whatever.
In any case, during that year, I got hit on more than I ever have in my entire life. I figured, “Okay, Jess. You look better with some more meat on your bones. Maybe that’s how to get a boy to like you.” Everywhere I went–the mall, the movies, parties–dudes wouldn’t leave me alone. I went to one concert and left with three different guys’ numbers. It was insane.
Thing is, the guys were all sort of creepy. The ones I bothered calling or answering were all very forward and clearly only after one thing. And it was sex. Apparently eating cake isn’t how to get boys to like you anywhere other than bed. (And none of them got me there.)
I had an epiphany this afternoon about that whole time, though. Once my foot healed, I didn’t get hit on as much–even though I didn’t shed all that weight right away. I realized: Maybe it wasn’t my change in weight. Maybe it was my limp.
My theory? If you’re desperate to know how to get a boy to like you and you don’t really care if he has creepy vibes, injure a lower limb, or maybe just stub your toe really hard. If you have a limp, guys will approach you. Not necessarily because they think you’re super cute (even though you are), but probably because they don’t think you’ll be able to run away fast enough to reject them. You’ll be beating them off with a stick. Or, you know, crutches.
(If you’re wondering how to get a boy to like you who isn’t a creep? Keep being you. You’re awesome.)
Have you ever had a guy approach you for a weird or unexpected reason? Have you ever resorted to crazy measures trying to figure out how to get boys to like you? Tell us in the comments!