This is a proud day because science has finally proven me right. Finally! Finally. I have always said that men and women can’t be just friends without at least one person crushing on the other person, and now new research has backed me up. It’s pretty much official, girls: researchers have stated that guys and gals can’t be simply friends without the opportunity for “romance” hanging out and waiting in the corner.
I know plenty of people are going to disagree with both me and these researchers on this. I’m sure there are tons of you who have guy friends who you would never dream of hooking up with or dating officially. But let’s face it, do you really know how they honestly feel about you? Because here’s the thing: as I’ve always suspected, men think about opposite-sex friendships much differently than women do.
This study looked at 88 pairs of opposite-sex friends and discovered that the majority of men were attracted to their female friends. The majority of men believed that their female friends were attracted to them also – but those guys were wrong. It turns out that majority of women were not attracted to their male friends and also had no idea that their male friends were attracted to them.
I’m not saying that I don’t think men and women can be friends at all. I do! I just think that in these friendships, one person is always going to have more than platonic feelings for the other person. Maybe your guy friend secretly thinks you’re hot and sort of wants to get in your pants. Maybe if the opportunity presented itself, he would take the chance of full on dating you.
Why do I feel this way? I’ve seen the evidence way too many times, and I’ve also discussed this with plenty of dudes who have agreed with me. Most guys I talk to about it say basically the same thing: they would date and/or hook up with any of their female friends if given the chance. Even our resident guy expert Ethan pretty much agrees! Do you know how many times I’ve heard dudes say that it’s not possible for girls to be friend-zoned because their friend would always be willing to try to take things to another level?
It’s also happened to me on numerous occasions. When I used to waitress, I was friends with most of the guys that I worked with. At work, we joked around and also talked about more serious stuff; after work, we hung out together with everyone else and had a good time. I had zero romantic interest in most of these guys. Almost all of them ended up hitting on me at one point or another. It was super disappointing, because I really wanted to believe that we could be just friends without having any awkward romantic situations going on. And I’m not trying to sound cocky, like it only happens to me – no, I’ve watched it happen to all of my girl friends at one point or another.
So what’s the definitive answer on this? Based on this research, it seems like guys are more likely than women to have romantic feelings for their opposite-sex friend. And while they might not come right out and say that they have a crush or that they would be willing to hook up, they would take things to that level if they had the chance.
But keep in mind that this research was only done on a small group of people. This doesn’t mean that every single guy out there thinks his female friend is hot. It doesn’t mean that there is no girl ever who feels friend-zoned by a guy. Still, I find myself pretty convinced: unless someone can prove otherwise, I truly don’t think guys and girls can be just friends without one of them sort of crushing on the other person.
What do you think – can guys and girls be just friends? Have you ever been in a totally platonic friendship with a guy? Do you agree or disagree with this study? Have you ever been friend-zoned? Tell me in the comments.
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