Taylor Swift & Harry Styles Break Up So He Can Finally Be With Me

Taylor Swift Harry Styles break up 1

I was behind the Taylor Swift Harry Styles break up. Sorry, Haylor fans! | Source: WENN / My Facebook

I was in a pretty grumpy mood the past few days, but the cloud has been lifted: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles finally broke up.

No reason has been given or revealed for the split, but I have some insider info on the Taylor Swift and Harry Styles breakup: it was over me. And now Harry and I can finally quit the facades we’ve been putting up and be together.

The duo apparently called it quits during a vacation in the British Virgin Isles, and I couldn’t be more overjoyed. It’s only a matter of time now until my green-eyed prince comes for me, and when he does, he’ll even be tan!

The truth is, Harry Styles and I have been in love for a while. Sure, we each had our dalliances with others–me with douchebags disguised as nice guys and him with the biggest pop star on the planet right now–but it was all just biding our time, you know? Because we’re meant.

He’s English. I love English breakfast tea. He sings “Live While We’re Young.” I’m clinging onto the remnants of my own youth the way Taylor Swift does to most of the guys she dates. We both have natural curls. We both have tattoos. He looks good with his shirt off. I am no slouch in that department, either. He loves to party, I love to lurk in the kitchen and wait for parties to be over. He used to work in a bakery, I love to bake (and to eat cake). He introduced Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder, I play matchmaker for my pals so I can live vicariously through them. He travels a lot, I don’t mind airplane food. He’s sensitive. I sometimes have sensitive teeth if I drink something too cold. Can’t you see? This is destiny.

Sorry, Taylor Swift, but this is how it’s meant to be. I give you full license to use my name in your upcoming hits “One (Wrong) Thing,” “Not My Styles,” and “Wrong Direction.” Just please don’t tell anyone where I live.

Do you think Haylor were forever? What do you think was behind the Taylor Swift and Harry Styles break up? Did you really think I was serious and not delusional and daydreaming when I said I was behind the Taylor Swift Harry Styles break up? Tell us in the comments!

We bet this Taylor Swift Harry Styles breakup song is playing everywhere right now!

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4 Comments

  1. avatar littlebabydoll says:

    I don’t like One Direction but don’t understand why Harry is the most popular out of them all?
    I swear the media thinks he’s the only member. He looks like a little boy, /:

    But their “relationship” was fake. Everyone knows that

  2. avatar bbbbbbull s says:

    guys she is edited into the photo??? wtf?? seriously i dont get this, it seems like every other woman who is in love with one direction and wishes it was her. sorry, if it is real but it stinks of bs to me.

  3. avatar Honey says:

    I think that Harry broke up with Taylor, because he wanted a real woman. Not some 23 year old girl that has no clue on how to make a song. I believe you were behind it all.

    This is how it went: “Oh Harry I love you.” ” I’m sorry I’m in love with someone else. Her name is ( your name ).”

    I believe you were meant to be. I just need Niall to come to Oregon and pay my parents to take me with him to Ireland.

  4. avatar Parker1994 says:

    Haha this is too funny. You guys are ment to be. :)I just need Liam and Danielle to break up then I can be with Liam. :D

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