Adam Levine knows how to do a lot of things: He’s an amazing musician (not only can he sing and play guitar, but he plays drums and more, too). He’s an awesome songwriter. He’s a great coach on The Voice and comes across as a pretty nice guy. He’s also not a bad actor, as evidenced by his gruesome turn on American Horror Story.
But there’s one thing I know firsthand that Adam Levine doesn’t know how to do: He has no clue how to pick up girls.
Ok. So, here’s the story. I was at a music festival one July with my flamboyantly gay male BFF, who works for an entertainment news show. He had laminates for us, which pretty much grant all-access to wherever you want: backstage, photo pits, anywhere short of a band’s personal trailer (because those are usually controlled by the band’s own security).
We hopped over to the catering tent, which was where the bands and media ate, because we were starving. The guys from Maroon 5 were there, and my pal started geeking out a little bit, but he was quiet about it and maintained his composure–at least on the outside. We were waiting in the buffet line for our food when Adam Levine approached us. He was shorter than I expected (but I’m barely 5’0″, so I can’t really talk), and he seemed a little out of it and looked sort of dirty–I figured it was the heat or something. In any case, my buddy tried chatting him up, but Adam clearly wasn’t having it: a lot of “Mmmhmms,” “uh huhs,” and “huhs.” He was more interested in my boobs, which were actually pretty well-contained that day.
My buddy was asking him about their set for that day and asked politely if he Adam would sign a photo he had. Adam Levine, who wasn’t yet dating supermodels–or maybe was just bored because none were around that day–scribbled on the pic while staring at my boobs the whole time, then tried getting me to leave my pal and hang out with him in their trailer: “C’mon, beautiful. Let’s get outta here . . . he’ll be okay without you for a while.” Seriously. Nothing before that. He just wanted me to go with him.
Uh, didn’t happen. For a few reasons: First off, he was so spacey and off that I had no clue what I’d be getting into. Again, it could have been the heat or just jet lag from traveling around so much, but it was still weird. Second, Adam Levine is old enough to know that he should at least pretend to know where a girl’s eyes are, if only momentarily. Third, my friend is and was my top priority. Just to clarify: I don’t think Adam Levine was rude to my friend because was gay. I don’t think that made a bit of difference to him at all, and I don’t think he’s homophobic by any means. I think he just didn’t want to talk to anybody that he didn’t plan on having sex with. But you know how the Spice Girls were all like, “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends?” It’s a good rule to live by. If a guy is a douchebag to your friends, he can’t possibly give a crap about you. And if he doesn’t give a crap about you, he’s probably going to be a bad lay. Even if he sings about having moves like Jagger.
Would you ditch your friend to make out with a celeb? Have you ever been hit on by someone famous? Has a celeb ever been rude to you? Would you have left your pal to make out with Adam Levine? What advice do you have for Adam Levine on how to pick up girls? Tell us in the comments!