My Boyfriend Is Bi And I’m Confused

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KaylaMay said:

My boyfriend is bisexual. Can someone help me? Today, my boyfriend told me he has had sex with a guy… but a couple of days ago he told me he was a virgin. I’m getting really uncomfortable. What should I do?

How would you deal if your boyfriend told you he was bisexual? Do you think it’s a big deal or it shouldn’t matter? What advice would you give this girl?

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  • skylar

    Hey,
    So a couple of days ago my boyrfiend who I have now been dating for 6 months told me he was bisexual and has known this for about 4 years. I first feel really hurt that he waited 6 months to tell me (literally told me the day before our 6 months) and second, now he is more open and I told him to now be completly honest with me so ive been asking questions about his experiences, how he knew last time he got with a gy etc.. and by the end of the day i always end up crying and I dont know how to process all of it because i do want to know, because he is my frist love, both of us had our first time toegther so he is very special and means alot to me. I think I am confused and hurt and need help on how to process it and not be hurt … :/

  • August eve

    It does not matter if he is bisexual or straight. What matters, is his commitment to you . Is he willing to focus on you alone as a mate and sexual partner? Also are you okay being in a relationship with a bisexual man? if this is a problem for you then you have to make the best decision for yourself.

  • Monica

    Before I started dating my boyfriend, I already knew he was bi… We’ve been dating for 6 months &’ last night he told me.. That lately he’s being loosing interest in girls. He said he is really confused and is questioning everything.
    I don’t know what to do! Help?

    He doesn’t want us to kiss nor have sex because that will influence the decision he is going to take on weather he chooses to be bi or gay

  • katie seymour

    guys I need some advice here. my ex broke up with me after telling me hes gay will cut a long story short and give you what you need. me and a mutual gay mate asked if hes totally gay or bi his response was you’ve known me that long and only just figured that out when we said we think hes bi,when we left and were sobering up he said hes gay and he ended up staying at mine and asked me for a blowjob and even though I didn’t go the whole way he let me rub.about a week later I asked him and he said he can assure me hes not.But what makes me think he is hes said he wants me to be happy and when I talked about guys he’s changed the subject,just said yeah,kk or something like that when I check out men,our mate has picked up before hes been jealous and a few weeks ago he couldn’t keep his hands off me like touched my arm,leg and rubbed my boob which meant nothing and think its bullshit,touched my face,held my hands and when doing this he was trying to hypnotise me apparently and the next day when I got off the train he touched my bum. we met up a few weeks ago and were messing around like usual and he said about having a sexy pic of him on his phone and when I said put it in my mouth coz I smoke around him we laughed it off after he called me a dirty bitch and he moved out of the way so he didn’t have smoke in his eyes and we were standing as close as you can get had a arm around eachother and looked into eachothers eyes for about 3-5 seconds and said nothing. The other week he was jealous on the phone when I mentioned a fit guy and hes response was Who’s fit? your suppose to be picking up your laptop not checking out men and anyway wheres my invite and e sorta laughed but it wasn’t his normal laugh. The thing that frustrates me is hes with a bloke who is a arsehole and engaged to after meeting,hearing about and seeing stuff about is why do all this and act concerned like hes asked me twice what I want in life,1 time when I asked where he wants to be his response was job,cant remember the 2nd and then said house of his own or living with me,although he had mentioned living with me when my mum moves,he asked me about moving again yesterday which made me think if I’m just a mate why keep asking,hes acted jealous several times when I’ve mentioned guys and when I had a night out with a mate and pretended to kiss someone he acted like he was happy for me and did recently but he barely shows interest at all seen as he wants me to be happy etc.the same weekend he couldn’t keep his hands off me the next morning he nearly said because I’m bi and said because I’m b and stopped himself and right now I can see him trying to get back in my good books as he’s said we need to go for a drink and catch up after I pretended to meet a guy.Also he introduced me to his aunt and nan not long after we broke up and his best mate,have talked about going on holiday together,hes always the 1 making plans.1 time we went to see a film and he was resting his head against mine,let me rub his leg,both had a arm around eachother and on the way home his hand was very low on my back and has let me touch his crotch I could go on and on. sensible answers please and I am being careful.

  • Sandra

    My boyfriend is also interested in men. He doesn’t call himself bi, he’s just tried it here and there. He’s totally into me. I’m not worried about that. I just don’t know how to get him to believe it doesn’t bother me. I feel like we’ve been having troubles in our relationship because he doesn’t see how I could still care about him the same way as I did before and be willing to stand by him and help him through whatever he’s going through. He’s younger than me and I know sexuality can be difficult to understand and deal with, but I don’t know how to show him I’m here for him and it’s okay. I don’t judge him for his personal feelings, but his insecurity about his feelings is causing problems for us and heartache for me. I really love him and don’t want to end things. Help?

  • Ashley

    My fiance and I have been together for years now and told me he was bi sexual and that hes had se with a few guys,he has never had a guy put his dick inside him but he has put his dick inside someone and has given oral before,he still flirts with guys while hes with me. What do I do? Help!!!

    • John

      Hey Ashley. I realize it’s been quite a while since you asked this question and that it may already have been answered through other sources. But just in case you still want help, here’s my answer. I myself am a bisexual guy. I’m currently dating a woman. Lots of women (my gf included at one point) make the mistake of thinking that because their bf also is attracted to guys, there’s some part of their boyfriends that they’ll never fulfill. That’s simply not true. That’s like saying that because straight guys are sexually attracted to all women, their gf isn’t enough. There is no one, guy or girl, that I would rather be with than my girlfriend. The flirting thing, is a separate issue. I would talk to him about that. It’s no more acceptable than flirting with other women. Maybe he feels entitled to flirt with men because he’s not dating one. If that’s the case, explain to him that you should be enough for him, bi or not. if you two can get past this, eventually his being bi won’t seem weird to you. all it means is more options in the bedroom, if you get my meaning 😉