My Boyfriend Is Bi And I’m Confused

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KaylaMay said:

My boyfriend is bisexual. Can someone help me? Today, my boyfriend told me he has had sex with a guy… but a couple of days ago he told me he was a virgin. I’m getting really uncomfortable. What should I do?

How would you deal if your boyfriend told you he was bisexual? Do you think it’s a big deal or it shouldn’t matter? What advice would you give this girl?

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  • Paige

    Hey I need some advice, me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 years and last night he dropped the bomb saying he “thinks” he’s bi sexual, he’s not sure sometimes he watches gay porn but he still loves me. I’m just a little confused on how to deal with this. He wanted to break up and explore his options then 2 hours later he changed his mind and wants to stay with me. He’s 73% sure he’s bi but not to sure. I don’t know how to help him with this confusing time, do I say? Do I go and tell him to explor his options?

  • Ashley

    My fiance and I have been together for years now and told me he was bi sexual and that hes had se with a few guys,he has never had a guy put his dick inside him but he has put his dick inside someone and has given oral before,he still flirts with guys while hes with me. What do I do? Help!!!

    • John

      Hey Ashley. I realize it’s been quite a while since you asked this question and that it may already have been answered through other sources. But just in case you still want help, here’s my answer. I myself am a bisexual guy. I’m currently dating a woman. Lots of women (my gf included at one point) make the mistake of thinking that because their bf also is attracted to guys, there’s some part of their boyfriends that they’ll never fulfill. That’s simply not true. That’s like saying that because straight guys are sexually attracted to all women, their gf isn’t enough. There is no one, guy or girl, that I would rather be with than my girlfriend. The flirting thing, is a separate issue. I would talk to him about that. It’s no more acceptable than flirting with other women. Maybe he feels entitled to flirt with men because he’s not dating one. If that’s the case, explain to him that you should be enough for him, bi or not. if you two can get past this, eventually his being bi won’t seem weird to you. all it means is more options in the bedroom, if you get my meaning ;)

      • Simone

        Hi John,

        No I don’t really get the meaning… What do you mean more options in the bedroom? I was dating a bisexual man up until a few months ago and while he believes it was the fact that he was bisexual as to why I didn’t trust him, it wasn’t. I was unimpressed that he wasn’t honest with me from the get go about his sexual orientation. That can be quite a big bomb to drop on someone – I assumed he was straight and only into women. To hear that your partner is also regularly sleeping with men is a bit of a tough pill to swallow. But I treated it as I would a friend telling me he was bisexual, I would never judge a friends sexual orientation. So I moved on. Anyway who cares who he USED to sleep with – as long as he only ever had eyes for me in the future. But it was his insecurity with being bisexual that tore us apart. He was so insecure and had a terrible drinking problem. Instead of showering me with love and trusting me he treated me poorly. He said things to degrade me, insinuated he was seeing other people and then would take it back once I walked out. We would make plans and he would change them to suit himself. I always came second to everything – his job, his friends, alcohol, and early on in the relationship – other women. It was toxic and horrid. He called me an emotional vampire, a whore and even kicked me and pushed me onto furniture. He felt to keep me he had to push me down and keep me down as low as he was. And the worst thing is he still isn’t out of my life because he chooses to hang out with my friends. So I have had to pretty much cut everyone who has any association with him as he just will not leave me alone. So my advice to Ashleigh is if this man is making you feel insecure – don’t marry him. If he isn’t lifting you up and making you feel secure in his love then this is not a forever relationship. If he isnt secure and in love with himself enough to love you and same for you – if you are not secure enough to be with a man who sleeps with both sexes – don’t get married. F%$k around – have threesomes and gangbangs like I believe John is insinuating. But don’t get married. Getting married is a big deal and marrying the wrong person can wreck you – emotionally, physically and financially. Just wait and work out your issues.