From The Message Boards: My Crush Is Really Shy – How Do I Talk To Him?

Liking a shy guy can be really tough. It’s easy to talk to a dude who’s happy to talk right back to you, but it’s not as easy to chat up someone who barely gives you more than a one-word answer. And forget about the talking stuff: it’s almost impossible to know if a shy guy is into you or not.

Most of us have probably been in this situation at some point (after all, not all dudes can be super outgoing and make the first move), so when I saw this question in the message boards, I knew I had to get more advice for this girl. Check out her dilemma, see what other girls had to say and offer your own words of wisdom.

SerenKairan said:
So there’s this guy in my class who I like, but he’s extremely shy around girls! I don’t know how to start talking to him, how to start something with him, or if he even would like me… I’m kind of in a frenzied state… Please! Any kind of advice is welcome.

dramagurl187 said:
Tell him he’s a sexy biatch and you should hang out sometime.

someoneeee said:
The best thing to do is first hang around the people he hangs with; like if you know anyone that knows the person you like, then tell them to help you and slowly get to know him. With shy guys, try not to overwhelm them. Start off nice, then slowly start showing him what kinda of personality you have. Good luck!

It sounds like you’re going to have to be the one that makes the first move with this dude. Don’t stress about it! If he’s really that shy, he will probably love and respect the fact that you have the guts to make a move on him. Before you tell him how you feel, start striking up conversations with him. Ask him about anything you know you have in common or schoolwork. Get him comfortable by talking about simple things that aren’t going to make him feel even more shy.

Once he seems like he’s opening up more, you can try asking if he wants to hang out sometime. If you’re feeling super uncomfortable about doing that, start slow by inviting him to hang with you and your friends at the movies or a party or something. Just take things slow and see what happens. And if you want to make a bolder move, go for it!

Have you ever crushed on a shy guy? How did you handle it? What advice do you want to give this girl? Tell us in the comments!


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  • Chantal

    Hey girls 🙂 I have a major likking for this guy in my class who is so shy but is fine talking to other girls and guys, but when it comes to me he is all distant and silent and then my friends told me that meant that he likes me back. I am shy myself but will try to talk to him more and more everyday. I did actually talk to him once and he seemed so shocked that I had the courage to. So girls you ARE going to have to make the first move when it comes to the shy guy type of boy. Just breath and remember that nothing is impossible 😉 oh and always be you ! Cause that is as awesome as you can be!

  • sujata bogati

    there is shy guys who has tell me he love me throgh online and his frens also used to say me that he love me then he tells twice that he love me through online and i also tell him that i love him through online but at college or outside we cant talk to eachother and when his frens tell him talk wid me then he tell that he become nervous infront of me and i also cant talk wid him n we both cant express our felling and now 9months happen we both know we love eachother but at college he behave diffrently that he dont like me and me too becoz we both are shy now what to do plz help me

  • Lin

    yea by boyfreind isnt super shy, he is actualy pretty dorky life does backflips and stuff in the halway, and messes around. but he is kinda shy around me….its kinda cute tho cuz he is nervous an doesnt want to mess things up. but thanks i think this will help me open him up a little more!!(:

  • SerenKairan

    Thank you so much! This is gonna help me a ton! <3

  • Maya

    ya, my boyfriend is shy, not SUPER shy, but still. I got to know him as friend first, then he actually go the courage to tell me he liked me (: we got kinda stuck together because we both run cross country and our pace is about the same, so over the summer we ran together. so, try and get to know your guy a bit first. you probably wont be as lucky with that as i was, but if youre in a class together, next group project (or something of the sort) ask if he needs a group!