What can I do if my boyfriend doesn’t last long enough during sex? How can I get him to last longer in bed?
First, know that this is a common problem among guys, especially young men and teens who are new to sex. This isn’t anything he or you should be very worried about. However, I understand that a little more endurance during sex can make the experience much more pleasurable for both of you. So, let’s get to troubleshooting.
Start off by talking about it with him. To fix a problem, especially one in bed, you need to address it. And if you’re going to be trying new techniques to change his staying power, you need to clue him into what you’re up to.
This is obviously a very touchy subject and you should approach it very delicately. I might throw it out there casually like, “Hey, I read about this thing that can make us last longer when we’re having sex. Want to try it?” This doesn’t put the blame on him or his performance and makes trying something new sound fun and easy. Of course, you know what will work best with your guy though. So, bring it up however feels right to you.
Ok, now onto solutions. You could switch out your normal condom for one with added climax control lubricant like Extended Pleasure by Trojan or Performax by Durex. These really do help guys last longer.
Many AASECT-certified sex experts–like myself–can help guys with premature ejaculation, which is what it’s called when a guy orgasms and ejaculates earlier than he’d like. Our role is to gain insight into the situation and help retrain their minds and bodies through conversation and activities that are done alone or with a partner at home.
These techniques often include understanding how to identify sensations leading up to the “point of no return” (the time when a guy realizes he’s about to orgasm and ejaculation is inevitable) and developing the ability to control his arousal.
One tactic I suggest regularly is called the stop-start method. This method requires him to stop the in-and-out motion before he has the feeling he is going to climax, and start again once it subsides.
Another approach, called the squeeze method, works by applying pressure at the base of his shaft or the corona (ridge under the head of the penis) with the thumb and index finger before climax is imminent.
Also, a doctor can prescribe medications to help with premature ejaculation. This is really a last resort and, like I said above, probably isn’t needed if your guy’s issue is more inexperience and being new to sex than an actual medical problem. I suggest talking and trying one of the three methods I listed above before seeking medical help.