Ask A Guy: Do Guys Talk About Sex Stuff With Their Friends?

guys talk about sex

Are they talking about YOU? | Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan,

What do guys tell their friends about sex? Do they explain every detail? Do they lie about stuff they’ve done? Do they talk about it like girls do? Do you think my boyfriend is telling his friends all the stuff we do? HELP!!!!!

First of all, breathe, girlfriend, BREATHE!

The truth is, if it’s is a one-night-stand we’re dealing with, then all bets are off – he may, indeed, reveal every little detail about your encounter to his friends. I wish I could vouch for my gender and assure you that we are all virtuous and respectful – but most guys are not, especially when we have no intention of hooking up with a girl again. And, unlike girls, who talk about sex plenty with each other, but often focus on its more romantic aspects and use euphemisms for private parts, guys do talk about the specific sexual acts which are done to “tits,” “asses,” and other words unfit for print here. You will never hear a guy refer to a girl’s genitals as her “thing.”

While dudes who discuss intimate details with their closest friends are often inevitable annoyances, guys who can’t be stopped from gossiping in public should simply not be trusted. And guys who lie about sexual encounters, while far less common, should be avoided altogether. Their motives may vary from case to case, but the vast majority of guys who lie about this type of stuff are merely insecure and trying to impress their friends. Unfortunately, it’s often at your expense – so while you don’t have to wage war against them, no guy has the right to brag about something that never happened. Not cool.

Relationships follow an entirely different guy code. The general rule is that the longer the relationship, the deeper the love, and the more private the sex. After my first date with my current girlfriend, I couldn’t resist telling my best friend every little detail about the makeout session. Now, two years later, I wouldn’t be caught dead telling any of my buddies what color underwear she owns (stop asking, Dave). Ultimately, if your boyfriend is incapable of keeping your sex life in the bedroom, he’s too immature to be a boyfriend.

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

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  • Anonymous

    I know for a fact my boyfriend of almost a year still talks about almost everything with his best friend – he told me so, and I don’t see it as a problem. They talk about what ‘techniques’ they use and how best to ‘get us off’ (his friend is also in a long term relationship). In turn, he doesn’t have a problem with me discussing certain things with my bestie (though I would agree we are far less likely to be so specific). If he were to be talking to people that can’t keep stuff private I would be annoyed, but I know his friend is a nice guy who isn’t about to tell the rest of school about us, and I get the benefits of his being confident and knowing what he is doing(: