The Funniest Lies You Tell When You’re On Your Period

If you’re in any way, shape, or form prone to a little fibbing, then your period can quickly turn into a lying bonanza about everything from your mood to your weight and everything in between! And who can blame you for telling a few half-truths when you feel like hell–amirite? Of course I’m right!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Food Cravings

 

She said: I’m soooo hungry I totally skipped lunch today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: As in, I skipped the line and ordered two meatball subs and now two hours later I could inhale a whole pizza if no one was watching. FML.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sex Cravings

 

She said: What are you doooooing? Come overrrrrrr…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: If you don’t come lay on top of me in the next 20 minutes, I’m texting you that you kiss like a vacuum cleaner (I’ll decide what that means later) and deleting your number. Tick tock, bro. Oh but don’t touch my boobs because they hurt like hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Mood

 

She said: Oh I have lipstick on my teeth? Cool thanks for the heads up. Uh can you excuse me for a minute?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I’ll just be in the bathroom sobbing for the next 20 minutes. I AM A HIDEOUS UNLOVABLE LIPSTICK BEAST.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Pesky PMS Bloat

 

She said: MOMMMMMM WTF is wrong with the dryer they totally shrunk my jeans!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I’m so fat that no one will even notice my smeared lipstick. I wonder if my dad has an extra car cover I can fashion into a dress…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Day You Get It

 

She said: Ugggggh Jules do you have an extra tampon? I’m, like, a walking autopsy right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I’ve been mensturating for the last, what, 7 years? I can’t own ONE pair of underwear without ruining them?? Sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cramps

 

She said: No DAD I can’t help you put on the Christmas lights. I AM IN SEVERE PAIN IN MY LADY AREA!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I took a Midol an hour ago. I’m fine. I just really want to watch the new RHOBH.

 
 

 

 

 

Do you ever lie on your period? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Posted in: First Period
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29 Comments

  1. avatarMoo! says:

    So how bout those cramps and moodiness. They are great, you know flipping out on loved ones and the urge to punch everyone in the face that’s the ice cream that will soon be gobbled down also. You eat anything and everything and you can’t help it. Then u lay in pain wondering what it’ll be like the second day, but you know it’ll be the same, same routine for 7 long stressful days.

  2. avatarValencia says:

    I hate periods like when u get them during science and that look on your face when your asking for a tampon across the room to your BFF and you accidently say it out loud and the class has all the hot guys and popular girls then your teacher takes u to the bathroom and explains it all

  3. avatarAnna says:

    I Hate Being On My Period. I’m The Type Of Girl That If I’m In Pain. Everyone Is. && Bye That I Mean If You Talk To Me, Tickle Me, Or Anything. Your Injuries Are On You. I Perfer To Sleep On My Stomach With The Pad Towards The Front Of My Panties. Tight Booty Cloth Shorts With Pajama Pants. Sleep With A Towel Or Light Blanket Under You (Perferably Colored) && Sleep On Your Stomach. For Best Results Were A Tampon As Well. && Right When You Wake Up Change It. (Yes I Know I’m Late)

  4. avatarEmily says:

    for some reason, i rarely get cramps on my perios. instead, i have cramps for most of the rest of the month. it’s kind of annoying, but oh well.

  5. avatarCaitlyn says:

    i get cramps and am very sleepy so i lie there in bed unable to sleep and unable to move my mum says go for a walk it will help thanx mum if i could leave my bed i would :D

  6. avatarAnonymous says:

    I just hate asking my parents for stuff or talking about it.

    • avatarFantasygirl425 says:

      same here, I am so embarrassed to talk about it with my mom because her period is completely different than mine and I get moody on my period and she dosent so she dosent understand what happens to me. I like talking to people who understand bad cramps and moodiness.

  7. avatarLauren says:

    I get the worst cramps! All I want to do is curl in a ball and bit my tongue until the pain killers kick in. Chocolate helps. Horny??? Yeah right, I feel way to gross to be horny…

  8. avatarahhh says:

    ahhh
    you can not believe how much it hurt me
    i stay at bed without moving
    holding my pillow so hard
    and it seem my mom does not go through this pain as me
    she call me to stay with them to watch tv even when i tell her it is really painful to move from the bed

  9. avatarMonsterUnicorn says:

    Totally agree!

  10. avatarSuperbandgeek says:

    Mother of pearl, this describes me. Hormonal Munchy Monster is what my mom and I call our food cravings.

  11. avatarkhikhi says:

    LOL!! completely accurate.

  12. avatarLissa says:

    this is all pretty much true!

  13. avatarLissa says:

    This is all pretty much true haha!

  14. avatarabc says:

    My periods don’t hurt at all.
    However, I wish to say something:
    Dear girls,
    You would not be having your period if you weren’t born. You wouldn’t be born if your biological parents hadn’t had sex [even protected sex can result in kids, you know.]
    To spare your hypothetical daughters any form of pain, do not have sex.
    When the world stops having kids, all our problems would be solved.
    Sincerely,
    KindlyUseYourFreakingCommonSense

  15. avatarICanMakeYouSmile says:

    Normally I don’t really like these “She Said, She Meant” things but this one is actually funny and pretty true :D

  16. avatarA_Glow says:

    what the hell why can’t guys go through this shit they say they’re so tough i wanna see them bleed for 7 days straight and still servive

  17. avatarHalsey says:

    I haven’t started mine (: know you all hate me lol

  18. avatarRobin says:

    Ew….periods. i have the worst bloating and cramps ever. like it hurts so bad all i can so is curl up on my bed and grind my teeth. thanks mother nature…
    and i dont get how you all get so horny while on it. i feel so disgusting that any horniness is just the urge to pee lol.

  19. avatarmackenzie says:

    i always think~~
    WTF I HATE BEING A WOMEN THIS SHIT IS STUPID GOD I FUCKING HATE HAVING PERIODS WHY DO I EVEN WALK ON THIS EARTH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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