Boards
If you’re in any way, shape, or form prone to a little fibbing, then your period can quickly turn into a lying bonanza about everything from your mood to your weight and everything in between! And who can blame you for telling a few half-truths when you feel like hell–amirite? Of course I’m right!
Food Cravings
She said: I’m soooo hungry I totally skipped lunch today.
She meant: As in, I skipped the line and ordered two meatball subs and now two hours later I could inhale a whole pizza if no one was watching. FML.
Sex Cravings
She said: What are you doooooing? Come overrrrrrr…
She meant: If you don’t come lay on top of me in the next 20 minutes, I’m texting you that you kiss like a vacuum cleaner (I’ll decide what that means later) and deleting your number. Tick tock, bro. Oh but don’t touch my boobs because they hurt like hell.
Your Mood
She said: Oh I have lipstick on my teeth? Cool thanks for the heads up. Uh can you excuse me for a minute?
She meant: I’ll just be in the bathroom sobbing for the next 20 minutes. I AM A HIDEOUS UNLOVABLE LIPSTICK BEAST.
That Pesky PMS Bloat
She said: MOMMMMMM WTF is wrong with the dryer they totally shrunk my jeans!
She meant: I’m so fat that no one will even notice my smeared lipstick. I wonder if my dad has an extra car cover I can fashion into a dress…
The Day You Get It
She said: Ugggggh Jules do you have an extra tampon? I’m, like, a walking autopsy right now.
She meant: I’ve been mensturating for the last, what, 7 years? I can’t own ONE pair of underwear without ruining them?? Sigh.
Cramps
She said: No DAD I can’t help you put on the Christmas lights. I AM IN SEVERE PAIN IN MY LADY AREA!
She meant: I took a Midol an hour ago. I’m fine. I just really want to watch the new RHOBH.
Do you ever lie on your period? Tell us about it in the comments!
One Way Your Period Actually Helps You
Public Sex Disasters
NOOOO!!!
