The Funniest Lies You Tell When You’re On Your Period

If you’re in any way, shape, or form prone to a little fibbing, then your period can quickly turn into a lying bonanza about everything from your mood to your weight and everything in between! And who can blame you for telling a few half-truths when you feel like hell–amirite? Of course I’m right!







Food Cravings


She said: I’m soooo hungry I totally skipped lunch today.











She meant: As in, I skipped the line and ordered two meatball subs and now two hours later I could inhale a whole pizza if no one was watching. FML.









Sex Cravings


She said: What are you doooooing? Come overrrrrrr…











She meant: If you don’t come lay on top of me in the next 20 minutes, I’m texting you that you kiss like a vacuum cleaner (I’ll decide what that means later) and deleting your number. Tick tock, bro. Oh but don’t touch my boobs because they hurt like hell.







Your Mood


She said: Oh I have lipstick on my teeth? Cool thanks for the heads up. Uh can you excuse me for a minute?











She meant: I’ll just be in the bathroom sobbing for the next 20 minutes. I AM A HIDEOUS UNLOVABLE LIPSTICK BEAST.









That Pesky PMS Bloat


She said: MOMMMMMM WTF is wrong with the dryer they totally shrunk my jeans!











She meant: I’m so fat that no one will even notice my smeared lipstick. I wonder if my dad has an extra car cover I can fashion into a dress…









The Day You Get It


She said: Ugggggh Jules do you have an extra tampon? I’m, like, a walking autopsy right now.











She meant: I’ve been mensturating for the last, what, 7 years? I can’t own ONE pair of underwear without ruining them?? Sigh.













She said: No DAD I can’t help you put on the Christmas lights. I AM IN SEVERE PAIN IN MY LADY AREA!











She meant: I took a Midol an hour ago. I’m fine. I just really want to watch the new RHOBH.





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  • Meow

    Why cant i be a guy.