From The Message Boards: I Told Him I Like Him, He Never Responded – Now What?

Imagine if you finally got the nerve to convince yourself to tell your crush that you like like him (not just as a friend). Then imagine that instead of the fantasy daydream you had happening in your head where he confessed his undying love for you, he just sort of… never answered. At all.

How do you deal when you kind of, sort of get rejected, but you’re not really sure because you haven’t heard a yes or no at all? That’s what this girl is dealing with right now, and I know she’s not alone. So what is she supposed to do – bring it up again to get an answer, or drop it altogether and move on? Read what some girls had to say, then give us your opinion.

dolce_amore said:
I’ve been crushing on one of my guy friends for a while. I had a feeling that he liked me too because of how much time we spent together alone just talking and having lunch, so I decided to tell him how I felt. When I told him, he just kept smiling and seemed to be at a loss for words. All he really said was, “I don’t know what to say” so I slowly strayed away from the topic . He has never had a girlfriend so I can’t help but think that maybe he just doesn’t know how to handle the situation. It’s been about a week and neither one of us have reached out to the other, but I really want to talk to him. How can I bring it up to him without seeming desperate?

pumpkinspice said:
Get to know him better. You could try flirting and see how he responds. If he seems to give in and tag along, then he likes you and you guys can ease into a relationship. When you flirt and he inches away or pulls away…then he wants to stay friends. And be cool with it, you don’t want to lose your best friend.

chunkier_munkey said:
If I were you, I would prepare myself to take a hardhit. This could go either way in which it would either go you two become boyfriend and girlfriend or you guys could never talk to each other.  Prepare yourself mentally so at least if it turns out the way you didn’t want it to, you can move on easily. Then definitely talk to him face to face, and just make it a casual talk: “hey, I like you and I think that we should hang out sometimes more than just a friend, what do you think about that?” If its a no-go… on to the next one, but if it goes well make sure he’s comfy with it since it would be his first.

Let me just congratulate you on having the guts to tell your crush how you feel. I’ve personally never made the first move like that, and I admire anyone who does it – and it’s something you should be proud of, regardless of how things turn out.

That being said, the only way you’re going to get a real, concrete answer to this is if you talk to this dude again. You can say something like, “Hey, have you thought about what I told you at all?” or “Are you interested in being anything more than friends, or no?” If he still doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s time to forget it and move on. If he rejects you, it’s your decision whether you want to stay friends or not. And if he says yes? Yay! But I’d say the best thing you can do here is talk to him – otherwise you’ll forever be wondering what’s going on in his head.

What advice would you give this girl? Have you ever been in this situation? What do you think this guy is feeling? Tell us in the comments.

 

He has a girlfriend, but still flirts with you. What do you do?
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14 Comments

  1. avatar Laura says:

    So I’ve been having a crush on my friend for a long time. I finally had the guts and I told him how I feel. He NEVER replied! But when we see each other we smile and when I pass by him he pushes me and smiles. We still talk like we used to back then. We are still close friends but I really don’t know if I should move on or just wait.

  2. avatar Sarai says:

    Yep. I’m 14. He’s 13. (I’m 7 months older. We’ve known each other for 3 years). Today I was telling everyone what I think of them in my usual blunt manner. Told him I like him. He smiled, said he liked that I was honest and chuckled a bit. Everyone then without skipping a beat continued on with throwing sour jellybeans into our mouths. We didn’t speak of it again. Later he asked me my pet peeve. I told him. We argued a bit about sexism (I’m not feminist because labels are for cans, but I hate sexism) – he says hitting girls is wrong even if they start the fight and you just have to block their blows and it’s not sexist to think that. I say if someone attacks you, fight back whether girl or boy. We argued more. We got annoyed at each other and each walked off pretending we weren’t mad. He watched a movie. Me and his sister talked about a bunch of stuff. I left without saying goodbye or talking to him again. No idea where we stand now – friends, frienemies, mutual or one-sided likedom or I’m-going-to-avoid-you-forever-goodbye-now. Please respond. I need answers.

  3. avatar Jasmine says:

    This happened to me. I have a crush on this guy and I thought that he liked me back because hes always flirting with me at school, so I told my friend to tell him how I feel and he never mentioned it to me… What should I do?

  4. avatar Lisa says:

    I am facing the exact same situation. I told a guy that I like him and he didn’t reply back. We are still friends and I am wondering how I can bring it up without being pushy. Anyone brought it up again and willing to share the outcome?

  5. avatar im hurt! says:

    ummm.. a few days ago I told my guy best friend I like him. he didn’t answer so I sent him, “did I knock you off your feet or why the silence” he then answered, “im reding, so yea”. we haven’t talked since then. im heartbroken. can someone reply I need to know im not overdoing it.

  6. avatar Lee says:

    I don’t know what to do. I told my crush I liked him and he just walked away without saying anything. I still wonder but deep down inside I know he doesn’t like me back but I actually need to hear him say it out loud for it to sink in. I told him I wanted to move on and it’s been hard so far.

  7. avatar Loren says:

    I told a guy that I have known for a long time that I liked him and he completely blew me off! I was so hurt and heartbroken because even if he didn’t like me back, I wasn’t emotionally/mentally prepared for him to blow me off the way that he did. It’s been about 6 months and I’m moving on and happy now. But, now he is starting to have feelings for me and I’m really confused as to what to do. All I want to say to you is if it’s meant to be it will.

    • avatar Vida says:

      If your happy continue to be happy and move on.
      Guys have tendency to try and come back when they really see you moving on. And in my opinion when guys do that it’s just not genuine

  8. avatar jen says:

    Sometimes when the guy accepted your feelings, don’t be so trusting. He might be using you for his benefit. Like, to make his ex-gf jealous, use you for some financial reasons, and worse is that he’s hanging out with just for fun. I suggest that if you noticed their sudden change and it’s on the bad news. you better start thinking about yourself’s welfare. you might not be able to take it….

  9. avatar Katherine M says:

    basically the same thing happened to me. we havent brought it up at all since. i hate how awkward it is now. gahhhh.

  10. avatar Kiki says:

    I actually had the exact same thing happen to me, and trust me, it was really rough to deal with it. I actually had one of my close guy friends (who is also his best friend) ask him about the situation, which worked out but might not for you. The best thing to do is to assume he doesn’t like you and bring it up casually when you guys are alone together eating lunch or something. Putting it like “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, so have you thought about what I said?” I’ve heard a lot of horror stories, but sometimes, it works out in the end (me and my guy friend have been together for 2 months now).

  11. avatar Bleah says:

    I told my crush I liked him. We were alone at his locker… He said “okay” probably six times throughout my sentence and then a final “see ya” and locker slam :/
    Screw him! Haha and then he flirted with me even more and that really pissed me off!

  12. avatar Lisa says:

    You better prepare for the worst, just in case. He could be thinking of a way to turn you down nicely, or maybe he just tries to figure out what he feels. There’s a chance (obviously) that he likes you back, but he would probably have said something if he did. He is most likely thinking something through and when he has he’ll probably answer so just be patient!

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