Ask A Guy: How Do I Let Other Guys Know I’m Bisexual?

Dear Ethan,

I’m bisexual but I guess not everyone knows that. I used to date a girl in my school (my school is really big) and everyone knows about that but a lot of people think I’m a lesbian, I guess. Now I have a crush on a guy. How do I let him know I’m bi and that he has a chance without just making a fool out of myself and telling him? Help!

Well, you’ve come to the right place, as I happen to have firsthand experience with this subject. Take comfort knowing that a former girlfriend of mine actually dated a girl before she started going out with me, which obviously didn’t stop us from getting together!

As I’ve written about before, some guys are actually into lesbians. And while you’re obviously not gay, I know that even more guys (i.e. most guys) are anything but turned off by girls who have had homosexual experiences.

I recommend that you act towards this guy as if you were a typical straight girl. By that, I don’t mean that you should deny your female relationship or be ashamed of it in any way – I give you props for simply pursuing whoever you share a connection with. But if this guy is cool enough to actually date you, he shouldn’t be fazed by your past experimentation. So you should go after him as any heterosexual would.

There are plenty of ways to signal to a guy that you like him. (Check out my post on how to flirt with a guy by clicking HERE). If he’s still not getting the message, or you’d like to be a little bit more open with him, find a way to hint at your interest in dudes while he’s around. For example, you can casually refer to a previous relationship with a guy. Or, of course, you can also always mention outright in his presence that you’re bisexual. Sometimes honesty, paired with a little directed flirtation, just works best!

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

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  • pinkheart

    If you are bi sexual do you masturbate more than if you are straight? Or are you just more interested in sex so you explore your sexuality. Because my friends who are bi sexual seem to talk and be very interested in sex and seem to engage in sex a lot more than my straight friends do. It could be that my bi sexual friends just like to talk about sex, I am not sure.