A Christmas Tree Vibrator! (But, It Isn’t Meant For Going Down There)

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The Christmas Tree Vibrator probs isn’t what you were thinking. | Source: Shutterstock

Well, a Hello Kitty vibrator exists, so I wasn’t really all that surprised by the idea that a Christmas tree one would be out there in the world, as well. As it happens though, my mind was going in the wrong direction – turns out that the “Christmas Tree Vibrator” is literally a device to make a Christmas Tree vibrate.

Slate’s The Vault blog tipped us off to the existence of the “Christmas Tree Vibrator” (indeed, that exact word order), for which a patent was filed by Leo R. Smith back in 1947. So why would you want one of these, you ask?

Well, apparently the idea was that you’d attach this device to your tree and the vibrations would boost the overall “wow-factor” of a Christmas tree, both in terms of sights and sounds. The vibrating would making all the shiny doodads decorating it shine even more and as those decorations moved, it’d also provide an enjoyable natural soundtrack. Hmmm… If you’re intrigued, have a look at the patent and invention drawings.

At least for me, the sight and sound of my Christmas tree rank a distant second and third when it comes to my Christmas tree enjoyment, because obviously the number one important thing is the amount of presents under it (Right? Right?). You could give me a sad Charlie Brown tree and if there are presents, I’ll think it’s a million bucks. I’m kidding – I think a beautifully decorated Christmas tree is lovely, but I think I’d have to see the invention in action to become a real believer in the magic of the Christmas Tree Vibrator.

If I had to guess, back in 1947 when Leo filed the patent it didn’t cross his mind that the name “Christmas Tree Vibrator” might cause some people years later to do a double take and ask, “I’m sorry – a what?” Nope, the man probably just wanted to make your Christmas brighter with a shaking tree, and now here we are in 2012 with many people probably thinking that with that name, his product could be a sex toy.

What if these had really caught on and “Tree Vibrators” had become a totally common turn of phrase by now? I guess we’ll never know, but this little bit of trivia I learned today has reminded me that history is truly full of fascinating (and random) things.

Did you immediately think “sex toy” when you heard the term “Christmas Tree Vibrator?” Do you really think a vibrating Christmas tree would be any better than a stationary Christmas tree? Let us know in the comments!

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1 Comment

  1. avatarAllison says:

    So far, I’m liking this newish writer. Cool articles Meg! :)

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