Coping with a breakup is hard for anyone to deal with–especially celebs who have to deal with press asking questions and plastering pics of them and their exes all over the place. (Think Facebook drama multiplied by a million!)
Case in point: Selena Gomez was spotted sulking in a Hooter’s restaurant after her breakup with Justin Bieber. That’s gotta be rough in itself, let alone once you hear that people are going and telling everyone they saw you like that.
After a breakup, you’re angry, you’re sad, you’re lonely, and you feel like no one really gets it. Even if you did the dumping, you’re still probably pretty bummed out–at least a little bit.
While there’s no set formula to moving on from a breakup, there are a lot of things we totally know not to do if you really want to move past this rough time and get on on with your awesome life.
Here are our tips to you and Selena Gomez to move on from that dude who clearly wasn’t good enough for and didn’t deserve you. You can do better, but you won’t until you let yourself!
1. Don’t eat (or drink, or smoke) everything in sight!
Sure, those cookies and Ben and Jerry’s and hot wings (we’re lookin’ at you, Sel!) may seem appetizing now, and they might even make you feel a little bit better for a while. You may think drinking or smoking or doing some other substance may numb the pain. But here’s the thing: When the high–sugar or otherwise–is over, you’re going to feel even worse. Because not only are you dealing with a breakup, now you’re probably also sick to your stomach or worse.
If you want to treat yourself, by all means–you’re human, you’re awesome, and you deserve it. But if you’re using your treats as anesthesia for your emotions, it’s a problem. You’re pretty much putting a Band-Aid on a broken bone (or in this case, a broken heart). It may make it a little less ugly for a little while, but the problem is still there, and it’s not going to get better unless you actually deal with it instead of numbing yourself to it.
2. Don’t mope in public!
Selena Gomez, you should know better–you have a P.R. team! Even when you’re sad, you don’t need to show it in line at Starbucks or the halls at school. You know what’s gonna happen if you do? People are going to ask what’s wrong, and you’re not going to feel like explaining it all to them, right? Plus, you want to convey an air of confidence in light of the drama. You may actually care, but you don’t need the world to know (other than your diary and BFF!). If you’re really bummed, stay home–or at least slap on a smile if people are looking. You never know when a cute guy will be nearby looking for a pretty smile like yours!
3. Don’t force yourself to move on too soon after a breakup.
Rushing into a rebound relationship when you’re not over a breakup is a recipe for disaster–and will likely just lead to another messy breakup in the end. Give yourself some time to process why you and your ex didn’t work out. Keep a journal if you need to, and try to learn something from the split before you hop into a car with a cute guy just because he’s there.
4. Don’t badmouth your ex–or keep calling him!
It may feel good to tell everyone what a douchebag your ex is, but it’s only going to make you look hurt, bitter, and meanspirited. If anyone tries to bait you into talking smack, just say, “Justin is a great guy, but it just didn’t work out. Hey, did you see the Jets game this weekend? Now that was sad.”
And if you’re tempted to stay in contact with your ex after a breakup? Don’t. Even if you plan on being friends, which is great, forcing it too soon is only going to get messy. It’s a lot easier to move forward if you stop looking back. In a few months when you’re both in a better place, feel free to be buds. But by then, you probably will release that you don’t need him anyway! Remember: If he was so great, you’d still be together. And you’re not … so he’s not!
5. Don’t get jaded!
It’s tempting to look at “Forever Alone” comics and be convinced that you’ll never find anyone like your ex after a breakup. But here’s the thing: You won’t find anyone like your ex, and that’s a good thing–because if he’s your ex, he wasn’t right for you. Selena Gomez may never find another Justin Bieber, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a ton of cool guys out there who wouldn’t treat her like a queen. And if you get jaded and bitter, you won’t find anyone period. Give yourself a week for every month you were together to dwell, mope, and listen to sad songs. When the last day is up, hide all reminders of him and move it along!
Have you ever had a hard time after a breakup? How do you deal with breakups? What’s your best way to move on after a breakup? Do you have any advice for Selena Gomez after her split with Justin Bieber? Tell us in the comments!