How Do I Tell My Family That I’m Bisexual?

Dear Heather,

I’m bisexual. I’m really tired of keeping it a secret and denying it. How do I open up to my family and friends without them turning against me?

It’s great that you feel ready to open about your sexuality to your family and friends. I can completely understand feeling scared or nervous about this – it’s a big step to take and can be very scary. While this may not be an easy thing for you to go through, I think you’ll feel better once you get this off your chest. I can’t promise that absolutely everyone will accept you for who you are immediately, but I can tell you that continuing to keep your sexuality a secret is something that will make you unhappy. It’s better to be honest with everyone when you’re ready.

Now, how do you tell people? I would start by telling the person you feel most comfortable with, whether that’s your mom, your grandma or your best friend. Telling one person who you feel really close to will probably help you tell everyone else – it’s good practice. Let this person know that you really want to share something important with them that’s a pretty big deal to you. There’s no simple way to go about this – you pretty much just have to come out and say, “I’m bisexual.” You can go into whatever detail you want, that’s up to you. Explain that you’re telling them because they’re an important part of your life and you would love if they could accept your sexuality.

Once you tell that one person, start figuring out who else you want to tell personally. Do it however you want, whether it’s in a group or individually. Let everyone know that this is an important part of who you are and you don’t want to have to hide your sexuality anymore.

Honestly, there may be some people in your life who don’t want to accept this about you. Please remember that that is their problem, not yours. You didn’t do anything wrong by admitting that you’re bisexual and there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual. If that’s something they don’t agree with, then they need to figure it out on their own. You have to continue to do what makes you happy, regardless of how others feel.

Good luck! Coming out takes a lot of courage and it’s really admirable that you’re ready to take that step. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about who you are, and lean on the people who support you. You can’t change who you are and you never need to defend your sexuality.

take care,

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  • Hayley

    A few days ago my best friend and I were talking and she knew something was wrong so I had to tell her, I pretty much said that for the longest time I’ve been pushing back feelings because I was scared of how people would react but now I was ready to tell her that I like girls. She was so happy and thought it was amazing of me to have the courage to tell her. Then I had to tell her-the girl I like, is her. And instantly she was thrilled! She was so incredibly flattered and thinks I’m amazing. She hasn’t told me yet what her feelings towards me are but either way we agreed to stay really close friends throughout this. It made me so, so happy. Now I’m comfortable telling my family, which I’m going to do very soon!

  • Devin

    Well im Devin.snd im bi and im a boy but I couldent com out but a court thing happend then I moved with my dad and call my mom and tould her im bi and she said she dont care sges fine with it but my dad said I fisguest him and im nasty and a fag then he got over it and now we a great conneton

  • MusicBabyDoll13

    I’m bi. I just told my 2 best friends last week. One of them is bi so they were fine with it. But i told my mom last night and she totally shut me down. oh well. just gotta keep trying to explain it to her i guess

  • ursulamb

    I’m bi and I have come out to my family but i am so scared to come out to my friends at school… I have this crush on a girl and I don’t know what to do. It’s like a knot in my stomach but if my friends don’t know how to be around me then I’ll be all alone. I’m scared. Advice?

    • Cat

      I came out to a few close friends, all of whom were super supportive! However, I did think about that maybe 2 of my friends wouldn’t take it so well, so I’m not going to tell them until I plan to fully come out. I haven’t told my family yet… They are supportive but I’m worried they will treat me differently, like worrying that I’d be in relationships with my friends. (I’m in grade 8 by the way)

  • Nychii

    I always wonder when I read things like this, because I never really ‘came out’ – so to speak – as anything, to anyone. Everyone kind of just knew and I never got questions about it or people asking ‘really?’. Then again, I come from a REALLY odd town where nothing even close to stereotypical ever happens so I’m going to shut up now…

  • Hasn’tComeOutYet

    i have told some of my closest friends but cant bring myself to tell my mum. I have a gay uncle so she should accept the fact that i’m bisexual. I have no idea why i cant tell her 🙁 would you suggest waiting till i’m in a girl on girl relationship? or tell her now? if so how can i tell her? we live with my granddad and i don’t know if he would approve as i don’t know his views on gay relations, how can i find out his views and/or tell him?

  • Calzona

    I agree with Allison. Thank You!! I’ve been trying to decide about coming out to my family and now that I’m in a serious relationship, hiding is not something I want to do. I get jealous of straight couples because they get to just be out and about and post stuff and all that stuff I wish I could do with my gf. but you’re right Heather, if people can’t accept me that’s their problem not mine.

  • Allison

    Thank you to whomever asked this, and thank you heather. Great question and answer.