From The Message Boards: My Crush Has A Girlfriend But Still Flirts With Me – What Do I Do?

It stinks when your crush is already spoken for. What stinks even more? When that same dude flirts with you… despite the fact that he already has a girlfriend. Because how are you supposed to react? You like the guy and you obviously want him to notice you – but at the same time, you know it’s wrong that he’s sort of emotionally cheating on his GF.

This happens a lot, and so when I saw it in the message boards, I knew it needed to be discussed more. This girl doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that her crush is flirting with her even though he has a girlfriend. Should she confront him about it? Should she keep flirting? Or should she drop the dude? Read what she had to say and then tell us what you think.

nothingtosee said:
I’ve liked this guy for over a year now. He’s really nice and sweet and he’s become one of my best friends. Over the past few weeks we’ve gotten really close and I’ve realized how much I really do like him… the only problem is he has a girlfriend.

We talk almost constantly in lessons and get into trouble for it, we are always messing around poking, pushing each other and fighting with pens.ย Recently it’s gotten to a point where other people are starting to notice it and say that he likes me. I really want to tell him how I feel, but it would just make things awkward between us and I don’t want to lose a friend. But I just can’t stop thinking about him, when he makes me laugh I get butterflies and can’t help but grin.

He flirts a lot with me (he wrote his name in a heart on my pencil case) and it’s giving me mixed messages. I really want to tell him, but I don’t want to put him in that position.
Someone please help!

MomoMomone said:
This sounds a lot like what’s happening to me right now. I like this guy, but he’s taken. What do you do? There is really not much you can do. You could tell him how you feel, but because he has a girlfriend, it might do much to help your situation. What I have been doing is, well, staying his friend. I stay by his side and he stays by mine. Nothing more than friends. And I’m not going to do anything more than that because like others would say, he’s taken. End of story. So just stay friends and if he does break up with his girlfriend, then by all means, go get him!ย 

 

Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock

Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock

itsmecourtney said:
Try to put yourself in someone else’s position, what if you were that girlfriend? What if you knew some other girl liked your boyfriend and was flirting with him and telling him how she feels? I am sure you would not like it, and be really hurt THAT your boyfriend was flirting with someone else and other girls were trying to take him.

I think you should be respectful of the fact he is with someone else, and you should try and not be so flirty with him anymore, even if he is the one initiating it. Do you really want to be the other girl? The girl who breaks up a relationship? I have been on the other end of this situation, and it really hurts and is no fun at all. You seem like a very nice girl, and I am sure you do not want to cause any hurt to this girlfriend, but try and keep your distance and don’t be the reason they break up. If they end up breaking up later on and he comes to you, then go for it, but make sure he is over it, you don’t want to be a rebound. But for now he is taken and you need to be respectful to this girls feelings.

My thoughts? Honestly, I would stop talking to his guy so much. I know it’s hard to ditch your crush, but he’s kind of acting like a jerk to both you and his girlfriend. If his girlfriend knew how much he was flirting with another girl, I’m sure she would be pretty bummed out. And that’s not something you want to get involved in.

You can stay friends with him if you want, but I would tone it down on the flirting. You deserve a guy who will give you all of his attention… not just part of it.

What would you do in this situation? Have you ever been in this situation – what did you do? Has your boyfriend ever flirted with other girls? Tell us in the comments.

 

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  • Alaysha Easter

    I had a crush on my Ex boyfriends nest friend before we started dating but after finding out he had a girlfriend I started to distance myself from him and started dating my ex. 3 months after I broke up with my ex we started to get to know each other and he later admit to liking me and he was single at the time and so was I. My best friend told me she liked him and text him that and he later responded that he had feelings for me which almost killed our friendship. Over fall break we texted a lot more and he really got to know me and we eventually met up at the park to hang out and we end up making out on the swings. I later found out that 2 hours later he went over my best friends house and had sex with her. It really crushed me and I yelled at him for a ling time and cried. I end up getting over it cause eventually they started to date after a week of them dating we met up again and talked and had a really good time. He later broke up with her the same day and said he really liked me and wanted to keep me close and had more feelings for me than her. After going back to school he got a girlfriend and now is still flirting with me but I really like him even after everything and now my Bi friend wants to date me to

  • Molly Brittle

    Ok.. So. I met this guy by dating his best friend and unfortunately breaking with him 2 days later. But anyways. I was a dumb girl and decided to like “the guy” and he had girlfriend and to this day still does. So I liked him for about 2 weeks. And then decided to get my friend tell him. (Not a smart move) And his gf found out. And basically came up to me and said back off he’s mine. So he seemed to hate me from then . Until one day he sed advice from a girl he knew. About relationships. So I gave him some. And another morning at 2:30 AM we texted and got to know each other all over again. Well him and I texted from then on to this day. But from then to about a week or 3 after.. He told he liked me. And he was still with his gf(still is) and so I said I kinda felt the same. Then about a week after he told me he moved on. Now we still text, play around in class, and he and I stare at each other. He has his own nick for me, and I have one for him too. And he always smiles at me, and makes me laugh. And when his best friend plays around with me, he slaps him away from me. He seems to flirt over text too. What do I do? Does he like me? I think I like him more than I thought. What should I do?

  • soraya carrasco

    I Need help,i like this dude and he likes me a little but he has a GF but he likes to ft me and chat with me a lot,and he told me he wished i came to his school to meet his friends and then he can hang with me more.He is my hockey teammate,but im nervous i dont want to make anyhting akward he asked me out but it wasa prank,i dint know but i acted like i knew but he said he likes me.What do i do what does this mean helppp anyone.

  • Vargas

    Hi, I’m in a similar situation, I’ve been talking to this guy and originally it started out as just friends. Like we would talk on end for hours about anything and everything and we always laughed at each others corny jokes. The funny thing was we didn’t realize how cool the other one was because we just disliked the other so much for no apparent reason. However, it got physical a few times and we’d flirt more after that, but still had the same goofy conversations as before. One day I touched something and had a horrible reaction to it and had to take off my shirt and he let me borrow his jacket for the day. The next day he refused to take it back and when I asked why he said so you’ll always remember me. Naturally I was confused so I asked him what he meant by that and he said there was this girl he really liked and after Christmas he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend. He said he still wanted to be with me just not as intense as before. I like him a lot, and a guy like him has been my dream guy since like kindergarten. Some of the things he said and done with me he’s never done to her like he refuses to let her keep his jacket and doesn’t call her love or anything like that. I am so confused is he just using me, does he like and the other girl, does he actually like this girl?

    • Ruth Seevers

      Be careful who you play with . You never know who you really are getting in the long run

  • Jk0299

    Hi, I’m in the same situation. When I first started to like him I didn’t know he has a girlfriend because of the way he acts. After 2 or 3 months I told him I like him, I know I’m not supposed to but I couldn’t hold it in and we were good friends. I wasn’t hopping he would break up with his girlfriend and come to me but I just wanted him to know. He said nothing would change. He always tell dirty jokes and stuff like that, he said that’s the way he is and I’m like “ok whatever I’ll just give up on him” It was hard because even though he knew I like him he still acted the same which sucks. One time my friend asked him if he wouldn’t mind dating me (after 4 or 5 months) he said “he wouldn’t mind” now his having trouble with his girlfriend he says she’s getting annoying, he don’t feel the same way, and she’s acting way different. Ever since all that happening we started to kind of flirt more and hang out more and I started to like him more more. He told my friend that he wants to break up with his girlfriend but idk should I wait? He saying that he wouldn’t mind dating me. I really like him but do you guys think I should wait?

    • soraya carrasco

      yes wait gurll u never know patience is the key, good things happen to people who wait

  • jewlzy.gurl

    I
    am currently in a very similar situation. I have been talking to this guy,
    “Josh” I have known since middle school, we are both 24 now, he currently
    has a girlfriend who he’s been dating for 5 months, and she’s pregnant. I knew
    his situation from the get go, but I chose to ignore it because he has never
    once in the entire time we have been talking has he mentioned his girlfriend or
    the baby. The only reason i know about them is because theyre on his facebook
    and instgram. i wont mention them either, and i know its wrong but you see he’s
    not just some guy, we have history.You see this man is more than just some guy,
    he was the first boy to ever tell me he liked me, to ever write me a love
    letter, to ever tell me I was pretty, he was the first boy to ever make me feel
    like something other that the strange outcast ugly girl in our seventh grade
    class. Unfortunately because none of his friends liked me they’d constantly
    taunt me by saying he doesn’t like you, he’s just messing with you, he’s
    playing you, don’t believe anything he says, things like that, and each time
    josh would reassure me that they were just saying those things to keep us
    apart, and every time I’d believe him. Well eventually Josh forgot all about me
    thanks to his friends, they made up things about me that made josh pull away
    from me, he stopped writing me notes, he stopped meeting after classes, he
    eventually stopped talking to me completely. It came to a point where he would
    go out of his way to avoid me in the halls. this broke my heart and I honestly
    believe because of him and what happened I built an impenetrable wall that no
    one can get through to protect myself. Despite what we went through in middle
    school as kids i have overcome that and still hold a very special place in my
    heart for him. We recently started talking again, I added him on Facebook and
    he immediately accepted the friend request, not knowing who I am of course, he
    still doesn’t know I was his middle school crush. One day i posted my snap chat
    name and asked people to add me if they had it, I kid you not, not even 3
    minutes after posting, he added me on snap chat. We snapped for a few weeks and
    everyday anything I’d post on my story he would immediately look at. That’s
    when I started to suspect that he liked me. It went on like that for a few more
    weeks. Then one night out of nowhere he starts liking all of my pics vids
    comments everything on my facebook, and I decided to message him. Not even 3
    minutes into the conversation he asks me to text him, gives me his number, and
    of course I sent him a text! We have been texting for about a month now
    flirting back and forth sending pics and funny videos random things, its chill
    so far but then 2 weeks ago he asks me to hang out, I agree and the day comes
    and he blows me off, says his aunt died. its all good, we continue to text, and
    days later he asks me to go over to his place and watch a movie, this time I
    agree but I am well aware that he may blow me off again, and sure enough he
    does, no text no call to cancel nothing. at this point I think its over, just
    like in middle school, he just up and left. well nope, he came back Easter
    night. And you know what he says to me? He apologizes for not texting me says
    he feels awful and has missed talking to me, i of course do too. i do. cuz i
    like him a lot, despite what happened in middle school over a decade ago I find
    him devastatingly attractive, and we have so much in common, the conversation
    is great, so of course i forgive him and we continue to talk. I know all of
    this is wrong, he has a girlfriend, a baby on the way, why on earth would he
    want to talk to me?!?!?! ive asked a couple of friends, and they all say the
    same thing, if hes risking his girlfriend and the baby on the way he likes you
    more than a little, no one risks that for someone they don’t like or want to be
    with. at the same time im very confused because although my friends may be
    right, if he really liked me that much he would’ve made an effort to see me
    instead of blow me off. maybe he just wants a one night stand, but its been
    weeks of flirting and sending pics, he calls me beautiful and gorgeous and
    asked me to go to England with him we’ve made plans together for the future,
    and yet he never mentions his girlfriend. A large part of me wants to believe
    my friends and just believe he really likes me and theres a chance we can be
    together in the future, but an even larger part of me feels like im being
    played like im just around to pass the time. I don’t even really know, and i
    don’t know if i wanna find out for sure. But i do know, that i like josh a lot
    and for the time i am given with him i am going to enjoy it, just like i did in
    middle school. Who knows, he may be real and want to be with me in the end and
    if not then oh well ill move on. Like i said i know this is wrong and i feel
    for the girl hes with but the heart wants, what the heart wants, and our hearts
    want each other.

  • jewlzy.gurl

    I am currently in a very similar situation. I have been talking to this guy, “Josh” I have known since middle school, we are both 24 now, he currently has a girlfriend who he’s been dating for 5 months, and she’s pregnant. I knew his situation from the get go, but I chose to ignore it because he has never once in the entire time we have been talking has he mentioned his girlfriend or the baby. The only reason i know about them is because theyre on his facebook and instgram. i wont mention them either, and i know its wrong but you see he’s not just some guy, we have history.You see this man is more than just some guy, he was the first boy to ever tell me he liked me, to ever write me a love letter, to ever tell me I was pretty, he was the first boy to ever make me feel like something other that the strange outcast ugly girl in our seventh grade class. Unfortunately because none of his friends liked me they’d constantly taunt me by saying he doesn’t like you, he’s just messing with you, he’s playing you, don’t believe anything he says, things like that, and each time josh would reassure me that they were just saying those things to keep us apart, and every time I’d believe him. Well eventually Josh forgot all about me thanks to his friends, they made up things about me that made josh pull away from me, he stopped writing me notes, he stopped meeting after classes, he eventually stopped talking to me completely. It came to a point where he would go out of his way to avoid me in the halls. this broke my heart and I honestly believe because of him and what happened I built an impenetrable wall that no one can get through to protect myself. Despite what we went through in middle school as kids i have overcome that and still hold a very special place in my heart for him. We recently started talking again, I added him on Facebook and he immediately accepted the friend request, not knowing who I am of course, he still doesn’t know I was his middle school crush. One day i posted my snap chat name and asked people to add me if they had it, I kid you not, not even 3 minutes after posting, he added me on snap chat. We snapped for a few weeks and everyday anything I’d post on my story he would immediately look at. That’s when I started to suspect that he liked me. It went on like that for a few more weeks. Then one night out of nowhere he starts liking all of my pics vids comments everything on my facebook, and I decided to message him. Not even 3 minutes into the conversation he asks me to text him, gives me his number, and of course I sent him a text! We have been texting for about a month now flirting back and forth sending pics and funny videos random things, its chill so far but then 2 weeks ago he asks me to hang out, I agree and the day comes and he blows me off, says his aunt died. its all good, we continue to text, and days later he asks me to go over to his place and watch a movie, this time I agree but I am well aware that he may blow me off again, and sure enough he does, no text no call to cancel nothing. at this point I think its over, just like in middle school, he just up and left. well nope, he came back Easter night. And you know what he says to me? He apologizes for not texting me says he feels awful and has missed talking to me, i of course do too. i do. cuz i like him a lot, despite what happened in middle school over a decade ago I find him devastatingly attractive, and we have so much in common, the conversation is great, so of course i forgive him and we continue to talk. I know all of this is wrong, he has a girlfriend, a baby on the way, why on earth would he want to talk to me?!?!?! ive asked a couple of friends, and they all say the same thing, if hes risking his girlfriend and the baby on the way he likes you more than a little, no one risks that for someone they don’t like or want to be with. at the same time im very confused because although my friends may be right, if he really liked me that much he would’ve made an effort to see me instead of blow me off. maybe he just wants a one night stand, but its been weeks of flirting and sending pics, he calls me beautiful and gorgeous and asked me to go to England with him we’ve made plans together for the future, and yet he never mentions his girlfriend. A large part of me wants to believe my friends and just believe he really likes me and theres a chance we can be together in the future, but an even larger part of me feels like im being played like im just around to pass the time. I don’t even really know, and i don’t know if i wanna find out for sure. But i do know, that i like josh a lot and for the time i am given with him i am going to enjoy it, just like i did in middle school. Who knows, he may be real and want to be with me in the end and if not then oh well ill move on. Like i said i know this is wrong and i feel for the girl hes with but the heart wants, what the heart wants, and our hearts want each other.

    • Shiruma Makoto

      i wonder how things are with you now? its usually not a great idea to stick around people who play both ways. either you should confront him about his girlfriend and baby, or stop all contacts with him. like you said yourself, if he cares for you really he would be ready to confront the matter, if he skirts around it or tries to avoid the talk he doesnt intend to leave his girlfriend or the baby. in which case it would be best for you to end things, you never know what opportunities lie in the future unless you let yourself move on, let go of the past. trust me, you can move on, no matter how much history you have had with this guy, if he doesnt care enough for you to be honest with you, you are not meant to be with him. good luck and take care. hope things work best for all of you :’)

  • Nun ya

    I work with this guy at my job but he has a girl he told me that she is his world and he loves her hes been with her for over a year but lately he talks to me and than the next day its like were ignorning eachother but besides that hes always telling to me to get to know him hes not like other guys and im a hard girl to handle .. That its takes someone special or whatever to handle me that hes not sure what i want , but when im on cashier hes always telling my customers that amd i doing a good job i am i bring customers in with my beauty blah blah blah .. Idk i kind have this feeling that i cannot stop thinking about him but i dont know because he has a girl and hes been with her for over a year . And i have no clue what to do. I think maybe he just gets a fun out of it to mess with me , but i cant help but smile so big and get so happy when i see him ..

  • Bianca Lopez

    My crush is my best friend and he is being a jerk to me somewhat of the time and I try not to talk to him but he always looks like he is about to cry when I ignore him for over an hour. What is worse is that he has a girlfriend, Emma and she is constantly trying to make me jealous of their relationship because she thinks I like him and I’m trying to pull away from him but it’s hard when he is constantly talking and making me laugh. Emma is a bad influence on him and I can’t handle it anymore , I can’t go a day with seeing them be lovey dovey ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”! He is a popular kid and I’m not so much. He is nice when Emma isn’t around but he is a jerk when she is. I NEED HELP AND ADVICE! !!!!!!!!

  • Gina

    I have this guy friend that has been my BFF forever. He started dating this girl in the last semester of 8th grade. She has cheated on him over 7 times and he still insists on being with her. She is a complete a-hole and yet he still loves her. Since last year we’ve became closer than ever. But his girlfriend and I have been “friends” for a little over 4 years. It sucks to start liking him now and it sucks worse when he’s flirting A LOT and he always playfully fights back and it’s really confusing but at the same time, relieving. I want to ask him why he is still with her but I don’t want to lose him. He’s been my friend since 6th grade but my crush since junior year.