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It stinks when your crush is already spoken for. What stinks even more? When that same dude flirts with you… despite the fact that he already has a girlfriend. Because how are you supposed to react? You like the guy and you obviously want him to notice you – but at the same time, you know it’s wrong that he’s sort of emotionally cheating on his GF.
This happens a lot, and so when I saw it in the message boards, I knew it needed to be discussed more. This girl doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that her crush is flirting with her even though he has a girlfriend. Should she confront him about it? Should she keep flirting? Or should she drop the dude? Read what she had to say and then tell us what you think.
nothingtosee said:
I’ve liked this guy for over a year now. He’s really nice and sweet and he’s become one of my best friends. Over the past few weeks we’ve gotten really close and I’ve realized how much I really do like him… the only problem is he has a girlfriend.
We talk almost constantly in lessons and get into trouble for it, we are always messing around poking, pushing each other and fighting with pens. Recently it’s gotten to a point where other people are starting to notice it and say that he likes me. I really want to tell him how I feel, but it would just make things awkward between us and I don’t want to lose a friend. But I just can’t stop thinking about him, when he makes me laugh I get butterflies and can’t help but grin.
He flirts a lot with me (he wrote his name in a heart on my pencil case) and it’s giving me mixed messages. I really want to tell him, but I don’t want to put him in that position.
Someone please help!
MomoMomone said:
This sounds a lot like what’s happening to me right now. I like this guy, but he’s taken. What do you do? There is really not much you can do. You could tell him how you feel, but because he has a girlfriend, it might do much to help your situation. What I have been doing is, well, staying his friend. I stay by his side and he stays by mine. Nothing more than friends. And I’m not going to do anything more than that because like others would say, he’s taken. End of story. So just stay friends and if he does break up with his girlfriend, then by all means, go get him!
Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock
itsmecourtney said:
Try to put yourself in someone else’s position, what if you were that girlfriend? What if you knew some other girl liked your boyfriend and was flirting with him and telling him how she feels? I am sure you would not like it, and be really hurt THAT your boyfriend was flirting with someone else and other girls were trying to take him.
I think you should be respectful of the fact he is with someone else, and you should try and not be so flirty with him anymore, even if he is the one initiating it. Do you really want to be the other girl? The girl who breaks up a relationship? I have been on the other end of this situation, and it really hurts and is no fun at all. You seem like a very nice girl, and I am sure you do not want to cause any hurt to this girlfriend, but try and keep your distance and don’t be the reason they break up. If they end up breaking up later on and he comes to you, then go for it, but make sure he is over it, you don’t want to be a rebound. But for now he is taken and you need to be respectful to this girls feelings.
My thoughts? Honestly, I would stop talking to his guy so much. I know it’s hard to ditch your crush, but he’s kind of acting like a jerk to both you and his girlfriend. If his girlfriend knew how much he was flirting with another girl, I’m sure she would be pretty bummed out. And that’s not something you want to get involved in.
You can stay friends with him if you want, but I would tone it down on the flirting. You deserve a guy who will give you all of his attention… not just part of it.
What would you do in this situation? Have you ever been in this situation – what did you do? Has your boyfriend ever flirted with other girls? Tell us in the comments.
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Hmmm….that’s really hard situation, me myself my crush has a girlfriend but I told him about my feelings though it was damn hard but then he doesn’t realy like his gf but his friends and people that surround him are the once wh0 are pressuring him,and he told me that he got feelings for me and I should wait for him but for now I try my best to not make any mistake that would change him 0r his feelings for me….and advise from me to you is that don’t flirt around with him that much because its seems like he’s just using both 0f url and g0od luck!
I’ve got a similar yet also more complicated situation. So on this bus ride ( it was like four hours long) I was sitting by myself and I was lonely and everything. Didn’t have anyone to talk to. But then I realized that this guy who was sitting behind me was pretty cool, and not bad looking. So we talked and he ended up giving me his jacket later on bc I was cold and everything. Then the next day he made it really obvious that he liked me and ppl were jokingly teasing me. I didn’t want to look like THAT GIRL whoa easy to get and who nobody respects. So, I convinced myself that I didn’t like him and that I shouldn’t.
Now, months and months later, we’ve been on the same sports team for a bit and are friends. When I found a reason to talk to him for alil during school he told me about this girl that he liked. The next day they were going out and now he’s super super happy with her. And him being happy makes me happy but I’m also a little jealous that I’m not that girl who makes him smile. So now I have a major crush on him and idk what to do. Am I just too late and missed the train or should I hang around in case things go south for them so he might like me?
And we do flirt a little sometimes like when we swim or during practice. Ahh!! This is confusing!!
I am the other girl. Been dating a guy for about 3 months. It started our rough because about 3 months in to the relationship I find out he is still in contact with a women that he met on Christian Mingle. He said they are good friends but she has feelings for him. She would text him about ten times a day and call him about once. We got into a big argument because I felt it was disrespectful to me. It felt that he was just keeping her in the background. He quit texting her back, but she still kept on. I found out later that he lied to me and she still was talking to him. He said it was slowing down but he couldn’t be mean to her and tell her no. After I threatened to walk, he flat out told her to stop. She was very upset. To this day I have to wonder if he is still talking with her. He keeps his telephone on vibrate. He lied to me once, how do I know that he’s done with her? We spend the weekends together, so I really don’t think he has time to actually see her. AT any rate, this was very good advice. It is not fun being on the other end.
I love this guy, but I don’t thinks he likes me. We are just best friends. We stay in different cities, so we chat on facebook for a long time and almost everyday. I help him with everything and now he is dating and it is really breaking me, as not to hurt the other girls feelings I don’t advice him to not to date. But day by day his stories with other girls is just breaking my heart to pieces, and I don’t have the guts to tell him how I feel. I tried but I could not send the message. I am really becoming impatient with our friendship, and I am unconsiously showing the signs that I love him. Please advice something? I really love him so much, I can’t think of any other boy.
Well, I became friends with this guy through another friend. He went on her phone and was texting me. He was funny and nice – but he was flirty and I like him a bit and he liked me a bit. He said we should talk again so the next time he and my friend met he went on her phone and was texting me, he was being funny and nice and flirty and he started calling me babes! but I found out he was also texting one of my other friends and calling her babes so he was just being flirty. But then he wanted to talk to me again and not my other friend so I thought he might actually like me a bit. (His phone was broken so he could only use my friends phone to talk to me but when his was fixed I was going to get his number)so we talked again and stuff and he said his phone was gonna get fixed the next day so I could get his number through my friend. But now my friend just told me he has a girlfriend and now I don’t know if he was just being flirty to me or if he actually liked me because I liked him! And now I don’t know if I should stop talking to him or what – someone please help me! :’(
Ok, now I’m not the only girl suffering this situation. I think it would be bad if you flirted with him. But in my opinon i would tell him, just to get it off my chest. I’m telling my crush. But after i tell him i’m gonna make it clear that i dont expect him to do anything. For me i have a reason to tell him, other than the fact i want to. For me, my crushes friend knows and my crush’s friend said if i dont tell him that he would. So i’m forced to and thats exactly what i’m telling my crush. i guess its ok to tell him but don’t make him choose! but if he does dump his girlfriend for you, you can tell his gf that your srry and all and you can also tell his gf that you told him that you didnt expect him to do anything.
I have a friend who I really like and he asked me to go to the library with him. He gave me my first kiss. The next day after, we went to the library again and made out a lot. I really started to like him and my friends told me he was no good. Then my best friend asked me what I did on a certain Saturday and I told her nothing. She told me that the guy put on his Facebook status* spent the day with the babe<3*. That's how I found out he has a girlfriend and is no good. He just played with my heart. But he doesn't yet know I know he has a girlfriend so I'm just going to be his friend. Sucks.
Gosh, I know exactly how this feels. I had a major crush on this guy, but he was already dating. Not that I was surprised, he was super hot. But anyway, after about a month after they had been dating, he started flirting with me.
So I was really happy on one hand, but I felt really bad for the girl he was dating and really guilty for flirting back.
But you know what, it was his loss in the beginning, as I had made it clear I liked him, and he wasn’t interested then, and I liked the girl he was dating, she was a good friend, so I let it be. But it is a really tough situation to be in, and there is really not much you can do about it.
Same situation here as well. I had gotten to know this guy very well and we became great friends very quickly.It started out with simple flirting like basic joking and teasing. Then, it got a little bit more noticeable.He met me in the hallway every class changing and started messaging me regularly. One day in class someone mentioned his girlfriend and I was in total shock. I had felt so guilty that I was flirting with a guy who was already tied down. So what I did was tone down the flirting I stopped messaging him and began to make it clear we are friends only.I then became interested in another guy in class and it turns out he likes me.The point is don’t flirt with a guy who is already taken its wrong because you wouldn’t want it to happen to you.
why are guys such flirts?? It’s sooo frustrating…I wish they could be focussed on their gf ONLY…it makes me wonder, if guys can love anybody truly…:(
This is my life story. Not even kidding. My really close guy friend had always treated me differently than other girls or at least from what I could see. He really seemed to like me, he had complimeneted me so many times I can’t even keep count, he was super super nice to me while to my other friends he’d always make fun of, he’d tell me I’m the best and encourage me at literally anything even if I said I couldn’t do it, reassured me, texted me the cutest things, carried my books when I came back to school after being sick and was really worried about me when I was sick and even when I was getting better he was super concerned. I legit thought he liked me. And when summer rolled around, he had met this girl who not even long after became his girlfriend.
I was soooo hurt when I found out. Especially since when he told me about her later, he called her really really clingy and obsessive, and not even pretty but he liked her mostly for her personality. It killed me when later, when summer ended and the school year began, he gave me his jacket at a football game because I was really cold. And he and I were really close together under the blanket that my friends brought for all of us to sit under on the ground. So close that his leg was touching mine. And my bestie saw it and she told me later lol. I was full of lust for that boy who fooled me once already. And he fooled me in to falling for him several times while I was battling with my mind to get over him. But now I finally see he doesn’t deserve me, he doesn’t deserve any girl. And now he’s after my other best friend (even tho he told us personally he doesn’t like her), cause I’m darn sure he can sense when a girl likes him. And my friend is crazy for him, even tho he has a girlfriend still. We’ve tried telling her but it’s no use. I realized that I was in the same spot as her just a while ago. And I hate it. But now I think I’m over him cuz a new guy moved to our town who is S-E-X-Y. and Im pretty sure single.
I have this problem only its a bit different. My first boyfriend broke up with me after a rather smooth relationship, but we kept in close contact and were in an open relationship before he found a new girlfriend. a month after he did i found a new boyfriend. while we were both dating other people he came back and flirted with me, it escalated until one time we were actually alone together and we held hands. i knew he wasn’t looking for a long meaningful relationship though, and his girlfriend came to me for advice once or twice. eventually i ended up cutting off contact with him and his girlfriend, which is probably for the best, since all it did was screw up all four of our lives. its best to think about other people instead of your own selfish intents, it might help in making the right decision in the long run.
Well, theres this boy at my highschool. Ive never seen anybody like him, everything about him i like, but sadly im in your shoes ^ he has a girlfriend too. When he says “he wants to chill” & when he complements me i always say dont and stop! but he never does. So this morning i got the courage and i told him “BOY! Leave Me Alone. Go Do That Stuff To Your girlfriend, you dont deserve me, or her and im done with your mind games” later in the day i wished i would have gave him a hug first cause his hugs are warm but i also realized if he will cheat on her with the many girls i seen him talking to today after that, then he will cheat on me & WE ALL DESERVE ( BETTER ). Would you rather keep focusing on a boy who isnt focused on you, or get over and be a little hurt for the next few days? Youll get over it. You wont die! #GirlPower lol.
I’m in a similar situation. I basically cut off contact with the guy. It’s not fair to his girlfriend, and it’s not fair to me, either. Better to remove myself from the situation than have it blow up in our faces.
Yikes! I’ve been in both situations! I had a crush on the guy when he was taken…he handled it maturely and didn’t flirt back, but as soon as she was out of the picture, he started flirting back! We started dating, and other girls started flirting with him when we were dating, and boy, did it really piss me off. Word of advice, keep the other woman’s perspective close. It makes things a lot less painful and a lot less awkward.