From The Message Boards: My Crush Has A Girlfriend But Still Flirts With Me – What Do I Do?

It stinks when your crush is already spoken for. What stinks even more? When that same dude flirts with you… despite the fact that he already has a girlfriend. Because how are you supposed to react? You like the guy and you obviously want him to notice you – but at the same time, you know it’s wrong that he’s sort of emotionally cheating on his GF.

This happens a lot, and so when I saw it in the message boards, I knew it needed to be discussed more. This girl doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that her crush is flirting with her even though he has a girlfriend. Should she confront him about it? Should she keep flirting? Or should she drop the dude? Read what she had to say and then tell us what you think.

nothingtosee said:
I’ve liked this guy for over a year now. He’s really nice and sweet and he’s become one of my best friends. Over the past few weeks we’ve gotten really close and I’ve realized how much I really do like him… the only problem is he has a girlfriend.

We talk almost constantly in lessons and get into trouble for it, we are always messing around poking, pushing each other and fighting with pens. Recently it’s gotten to a point where other people are starting to notice it and say that he likes me. I really want to tell him how I feel, but it would just make things awkward between us and I don’t want to lose a friend. But I just can’t stop thinking about him, when he makes me laugh I get butterflies and can’t help but grin.

He flirts a lot with me (he wrote his name in a heart on my pencil case) and it’s giving me mixed messages. I really want to tell him, but I don’t want to put him in that position.
Someone please help!

MomoMomone said:
This sounds a lot like what’s happening to me right now. I like this guy, but he’s taken. What do you do? There is really not much you can do. You could tell him how you feel, but because he has a girlfriend, it might do much to help your situation. What I have been doing is, well, staying his friend. I stay by his side and he stays by mine. Nothing more than friends. And I’m not going to do anything more than that because like others would say, he’s taken. End of story. So just stay friends and if he does break up with his girlfriend, then by all means, go get him! 


Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock

Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock

itsmecourtney said:
Try to put yourself in someone else’s position, what if you were that girlfriend? What if you knew some other girl liked your boyfriend and was flirting with him and telling him how she feels? I am sure you would not like it, and be really hurt THAT your boyfriend was flirting with someone else and other girls were trying to take him.

I think you should be respectful of the fact he is with someone else, and you should try and not be so flirty with him anymore, even if he is the one initiating it. Do you really want to be the other girl? The girl who breaks up a relationship? I have been on the other end of this situation, and it really hurts and is no fun at all. You seem like a very nice girl, and I am sure you do not want to cause any hurt to this girlfriend, but try and keep your distance and don’t be the reason they break up. If they end up breaking up later on and he comes to you, then go for it, but make sure he is over it, you don’t want to be a rebound. But for now he is taken and you need to be respectful to this girls feelings.

My thoughts? Honestly, I would stop talking to his guy so much. I know it’s hard to ditch your crush, but he’s kind of acting like a jerk to both you and his girlfriend. If his girlfriend knew how much he was flirting with another girl, I’m sure she would be pretty bummed out. And that’s not something you want to get involved in.

You can stay friends with him if you want, but I would tone it down on the flirting. You deserve a guy who will give you all of his attention… not just part of it.

What would you do in this situation? Have you ever been in this situation – what did you do? Has your boyfriend ever flirted with other girls? Tell us in the comments.


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  • Anonymous

    Ok so, – where to start?

    I have met this German at university. He has been flirting with me taking me out for lunch dinner cinema drinks even kissed me on several occasions.

    I then, add him on fb, wait for it…. he has a girlfriend and his status is in a relationship.

    Oh what a surprise… But he still continues to flirt with me and get my hopes up, I am feeling second best and used…

    I do not know what to do – help ???

    I still have to work with him on presentations assignments and reports etc for university whatever the outcome of this situation is.

  • Georgie

    I’m in love with my best friend we are super close and he flies with me a lot and now we are cuddle buddies and a girl a grade above us likes him not just a crush she is obsessed with him and she gives me dirty looks and says I look like a guy. Help!!!

  • Katrina

    I work with this guy ,he’s perfect ! When I first started he would try to make conversation ,flirt a lot ,and wink ,by I was always so shy because I had a crush in him and thought it could be something until I looked at his finger and saw a ring ! I’m always shy around him and just smile . Its now a year later and I’m not to shy anymore but I’m still shy bu he doesn’t really flirt anymore but he does act nervous sometimes . He flirts with my friends a lot but I know he’s not intrested in them because he’s married and he’s told me what he thinks of them. Idont know if he’s not intrested anymore or if he just shy around me now and has a crush but knows he can’t because he’s married .

  • ZZ

    I was in a similar situation too. I had a crush on my guy friend for about a year now. We’re not exactly that close now but we still text/ snapchat occasionally and hangs out together in a group (with our other friends) sometimes. Not long ago, i found out that he recently got attached and it broke my heart. His replies tend to be slower than usual but he still makes the initiative to snapchat me at times. Once, we hanged out together w/ our group of friends again and he started being very close to me physically. Like, standing very close beside/behind me until our skins touched and i could feel his breathing, ‘playing’ with my legs with his legs under the table, putting his arms around my shoulders, touching and playing with my hair etc. He has never done that before! Why he is doing this after having a gf? I actually managed to slightly get over him but what he’d done made me fall head over heels again. I suspect he’s just trying to flirt with me to make sure that i still have interest for him. I don’t really know because i’d never told him that i like him but i think he could sense it. And it’s pretty sad to think this way because he doesn’t seem to be this kind of person. And honestly speaking, before he got attached, i’d always thought he had feelings for me. Maybe i was wrong all along and we all should really keep our boundaries yeah!

    • Sam

      Same here!!! I have almost the same situation

  • Rhianna Hatton

    I have this too, except the person he is going out with is one of my friends. He liked me ever since January 2014 and I have still liked him since then. But suddenly he changed his mind and went out with HER. A couple of weeks after they started going out, I told him how I felt and he genuinely felt so bad and said it must’ve been really hard seeing them together. All of my friends say I should keep trying to get him because he really is my Mr. Perfect but if I got out with him if they break up then she’ll probably hate me for the rest if my life.

  • Anicole321

    Im in the same situation. Except this is my question/story – I just started working with this guy, well a group of guys….I’m the only girl. The one in particular is cute and we get a long really well. We hit it off right off the bat, mostly because he was training me and showing me how to do everything when the manager couldn’t. I also work with him more than the other guys, who we also get a long with and joke around with. This kid though, he has a girlfriend that he’s been dating for almost 2 years. Yet, he initiates flirting with me…or at least thats what others would call it. We joke around and he’ll push me whenever he walks by, makes goofy faces at me and ttys to block me when I walk by. Now, it seems as though everyone else is noticing it too. Our customers (who are always older men) always joke with us and say “you know what that means..boys like to pick on girls they like” or “.. uh oh, the stars have aligned and your numbers are right” hahah! … but we laugh it off. I am a girl but I like hanging with the boys and this kid has even called me a bro.. ” dude, your such a bro” ….but they way he plays with me is almost as if he likes me. or he at least thinks I’m cute, right? I’m not imagining things?… I just want to know if he only considers me as a Bro. I don’t like him. I just want to know if I should confront him or just let it go and not worry about it. I have no intentions on being “the other woman”…but i don’t mind if he wants to be friends and thinks I’m cool and just wants another friend. Its obviously okay for guys with girlfriends to have friends who are girls. I just don’t want to cross any lines. I just feel like maybe he looks up to me like an older sister or something?…he’s basically like another brother.

  • Sandra

    My situation is I have a friend who has a girl friend and everytime they have problems he always tends to start flirting with me. And from all that everytime I see him over started to gain a crush on him. my friend who’s friends with him told me that he likes me but he’s girlfriend is physco. I just don’t know how to tell him to stop telling me that I’m beautiful and stuff! like will he stop being my friend? All I want is to make him know that it’s wrong what he does! He’s my friend and I care about him very much but enough is enough.

  • Alisa

    Oh well i go through the same thing but in my case, he has a girlfreind and we use to chat but now we sopped cause it wasnt working out and he is the type of guy that wouldnt flirt or fool around with yuu cause he is loyal to his girlfriend and it HURTS

  • Anonymous

    I’m in a similar situation as well. I have liked this guy for at least a year, but he is in a semi-long-distance relationship. He’s a really nice guy and he is kind and respectful of all the girls he knows, and he occasionally seems like he’s flirting but everyone knows he’s just goofing off. Recently though he has started flirting even more with me than is usual, and after one school field trip my best friend told me that the rest of the group we were walking with was commenting on how much he was flirting with me, and what a “cute couple” we would be. Additionally afterward we went out (with a group) for ice cream and he was putting his arm around me, and since we were both really tired we were kind of leaning on each other. On the one hand I’m flattered and it’s nice to be flirted with, but I know his girlfriend and I respect her and most importantly I think the two of them are really happy together, and I DON’T want to be the one to mess that up. It’s a crummy situation all around, and I know the right thing to do is shut it down, but I’m not sure how best to do that without also losing a friend.

  • eliza

    IMPORTANT: This guy is my best friend and, though I knew him before, we’ve REALLY gotten close this year. He’s my cuddle buddy and I love him to death. He got a girlfriend before all of this started happening but she’s moving over the summer. Now he wants to kiss me. Like, he’s planning out the details and telling me them. I started getting nervous about his girlfriend and he said he’s “sneaky”. I really like this guy… scratch that. I love him. But besides the fact that he’s taken, my family hates him and he’s two years older than me. HELP?

  • nikalicious

    I am in the same situation. I always keep reminding myself that I am just a past time and I don’t want that. Since it’s just a crush and still controllable, you can start by ignoring his flirtatious acts and just be “friends”. You can confront him of what you really feel, I swear it would make you feel better. A guy who is in a relationship should never flirt with anyone. If he has problems with his relationship, he better sort it out and stop making things complicated.

  • izzy

    I can tell I’m seriously clueless when I find myself google-ing “my friend has a girlfriend but flirts with me”. My situation is a bit weirder than any of the ones I have read by now.
    I have a big group of guy friends, they all are my closest friends and I love them very much. Girls don’t really like me as much, they usually hate me, so I have far fewer femal

  • Sara

    My crush has a girlfriend too. We are always on the phone, texting, snap chatting, you name it. He’s told me I’m perfect, beautiful, etc.. So many times. He’s a year older than me and a grade higher. He’s the most caring person ever and I really like him. He likes me too and he has a girlfriend. I’m worried because half of me wants to keep flirting but the other half is concerned for Emma, his girlfriend. So what do I do? He has even told me he would kiss me. And then right after would cover it with ‘int he future’ or ‘if Emma wasn’t here’…. WHAT DO I DO?

    • eliza

      I’m in the same. Exact. Situation. Like he wants to kiss me… multiple times and he’s two years older. Like, whatta I do?


    omg he sooo likes u and i have the same problem we get in trouble a lot but he has a gf but he keeps looking at me and i really like him and its so difficult coz i dont know wt to do either
    but i really do think he likes u because he wrote ur name in pencil with a heart such a big sign
    he is just trying to make u jealous same with my crush we flirt so much but the major thing he has a gf and all my friends are saying u like him and i really do but dont know wt to do and even if we do go out:):):):):) but then unfotunately break up:(:(:(:(:0:0:0 i dont wna loose the friendship

    however i feel u have a spark go for it and forget he has a gf just talk normally and he already lieks an he will more forget abot her and remember is the fututre that u to cherish the important

    hope it works for u guys and u get to gether without ruining ur friendship hope my advice helps;)

  • Anonymous

    Bro me too I’m into the same situation too. I like this guy but he’s taken well he kissed me yesterday at school and I felt kind of guilty cause its messed up what he is doing. I don’t know if I should tell his girlfriend because I don’t want to lose him as a friend and I really like him. he always flirts with me and he always carries me in his laps and like i’m alwayswith him we are so close but what should I do? please I need somebody to give me advice please.

  • asialee

    Im in the same situations but kinda different. Im in marching band*yes i a nerd lol* but i came to like this guy,name Edwin , like he’s amazing,fun, and have a awesome smile. so we start talking and we become close for a couple months , but during that time i found out my best friend liked him to and she flirts with him right in front of me but she has a boyfriend and that’s her bf’s best friend.. so that happens, me and her don’t talk for a little. Then i found out that he had a girlfriend for 9 months…my heart is broken but my feelings are to strong to give i stay a “friend” but he doesn’t know that i would do anything just to make him smile,and it breaks my heart to see him and his girlfriend together to the point of tears. Its sad but im in love with him….