From The Message Boards: My Crush Has A Girlfriend But Still Flirts With Me – What Do I Do?

It stinks when your crush is already spoken for. What stinks even more? When that same dude flirts with you… despite the fact that he already has a girlfriend. Because how are you supposed to react? You like the guy and you obviously want him to notice you – but at the same time, you know it’s wrong that he’s sort of emotionally cheating on his GF.

This happens a lot, and so when I saw it in the message boards, I knew it needed to be discussed more. This girl doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that her crush is flirting with her even though he has a girlfriend. Should she confront him about it? Should she keep flirting? Or should she drop the dude? Read what she had to say and then tell us what you think.

nothingtosee said:
I’ve liked this guy for over a year now. He’s really nice and sweet and he’s become one of my best friends. Over the past few weeks we’ve gotten really close and I’ve realized how much I really do like him… the only problem is he has a girlfriend.

We talk almost constantly in lessons and get into trouble for it, we are always messing around poking, pushing each other and fighting with pens. Recently it’s gotten to a point where other people are starting to notice it and say that he likes me. I really want to tell him how I feel, but it would just make things awkward between us and I don’t want to lose a friend. But I just can’t stop thinking about him, when he makes me laugh I get butterflies and can’t help but grin.

He flirts a lot with me (he wrote his name in a heart on my pencil case) and it’s giving me mixed messages. I really want to tell him, but I don’t want to put him in that position.
Someone please help!

MomoMomone said:
This sounds a lot like what’s happening to me right now. I like this guy, but he’s taken. What do you do? There is really not much you can do. You could tell him how you feel, but because he has a girlfriend, it might do much to help your situation. What I have been doing is, well, staying his friend. I stay by his side and he stays by mine. Nothing more than friends. And I’m not going to do anything more than that because like others would say, he’s taken. End of story. So just stay friends and if he does break up with his girlfriend, then by all means, go get him! 


Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock

Forget that dude! | Source: ShutterStock

itsmecourtney said:
Try to put yourself in someone else’s position, what if you were that girlfriend? What if you knew some other girl liked your boyfriend and was flirting with him and telling him how she feels? I am sure you would not like it, and be really hurt THAT your boyfriend was flirting with someone else and other girls were trying to take him.

I think you should be respectful of the fact he is with someone else, and you should try and not be so flirty with him anymore, even if he is the one initiating it. Do you really want to be the other girl? The girl who breaks up a relationship? I have been on the other end of this situation, and it really hurts and is no fun at all. You seem like a very nice girl, and I am sure you do not want to cause any hurt to this girlfriend, but try and keep your distance and don’t be the reason they break up. If they end up breaking up later on and he comes to you, then go for it, but make sure he is over it, you don’t want to be a rebound. But for now he is taken and you need to be respectful to this girls feelings.

My thoughts? Honestly, I would stop talking to his guy so much. I know it’s hard to ditch your crush, but he’s kind of acting like a jerk to both you and his girlfriend. If his girlfriend knew how much he was flirting with another girl, I’m sure she would be pretty bummed out. And that’s not something you want to get involved in.

You can stay friends with him if you want, but I would tone it down on the flirting. You deserve a guy who will give you all of his attention… not just part of it.

What would you do in this situation? Have you ever been in this situation – what did you do? Has your boyfriend ever flirted with other girls? Tell us in the comments.


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  1. avatarnikalicious says:

    I am in the same situation. I always keep reminding myself that I am just a past time and I don’t want that. Since it’s just a crush and still controllable, you can start by ignoring his flirtatious acts and just be “friends”. You can confront him of what you really feel, I swear it would make you feel better. A guy who is in a relationship should never flirt with anyone. If he has problems with his relationship, he better sort it out and stop making things complicated.

  2. avatarizzy says:

    I can tell I’m seriously clueless when I find myself google-ing “my friend has a girlfriend but flirts with me”. My situation is a bit weirder than any of the ones I have read by now.
    I have a big group of guy friends, they all are my closest friends and I love them very much. Girls don’t really like me as much, they usually hate me, so I have far fewer femal

  3. avatarSara says:

    My crush has a girlfriend too. We are always on the phone, texting, snap chatting, you name it. He’s told me I’m perfect, beautiful, etc.. So many times. He’s a year older than me and a grade higher. He’s the most caring person ever and I really like him. He likes me too and he has a girlfriend. I’m worried because half of me wants to keep flirting but the other half is concerned for Emma, his girlfriend. So what do I do? He has even told me he would kiss me. And then right after would cover it with ‘int he future’ or ‘if Emma wasn’t here’…. WHAT DO I DO?

  4. avatarNNAFG says:

    omg he sooo likes u and i have the same problem we get in trouble a lot but he has a gf but he keeps looking at me and i really like him and its so difficult coz i dont know wt to do either
    but i really do think he likes u because he wrote ur name in pencil with a heart such a big sign
    he is just trying to make u jealous same with my crush we flirt so much but the major thing he has a gf and all my friends are saying u like him and i really do but dont know wt to do and even if we do go out:):):):):) but then unfotunately break up:(:(:(:(:0:0:0 i dont wna loose the friendship

    however i feel u have a spark go for it and forget he has a gf just talk normally and he already lieks an he will more forget abot her and remember is the fututre that u to cherish the important

    hope it works for u guys and u get to gether without ruining ur friendship hope my advice helps;)

  5. avatarAnonymous says:

    Bro me too I’m into the same situation too. I like this guy but he’s taken well he kissed me yesterday at school and I felt kind of guilty cause its messed up what he is doing. I don’t know if I should tell his girlfriend because I don’t want to lose him as a friend and I really like him. he always flirts with me and he always carries me in his laps and like i’m alwayswith him we are so close but what should I do? please I need somebody to give me advice please.

  6. avatarasialee says:

    Im in the same situations but kinda different. Im in marching band*yes i a nerd lol* but i came to like this guy,name Edwin , like he’s amazing,fun, and have a awesome smile. so we start talking and we become close for a couple months , but during that time i found out my best friend liked him to and she flirts with him right in front of me but she has a boyfriend and that’s her bf’s best friend.. so that happens, me and her don’t talk for a little. Then i found out that he had a girlfriend for 9 months…my heart is broken but my feelings are to strong to give i stay a “friend” but he doesn’t know that i would do anything just to make him smile,and it breaks my heart to see him and his girlfriend together to the point of tears. Its sad but im in love with him….

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