It’s the greatest time of year! Seriously, I love Christmas shopping. But the truth? No I do not always love telling the truth, especially when it comes to my shopping habits. But still ’tis the season to hang by the fireplace, eat a ridick amount of cookies with frosting, and best of all, spending way too much money to show you care! Weeee! But whether or not you adore Christmas shopping, you may find yourself being a little less than truthful about what goes on when you’re playing Santa for the ones you love. Ho ho hope you saved the receipt!
Taking Advantage of Sales
She said: But mommmmm I can’t stay home and help you untangle the Christmas lights–did you not see that Bloomingdale’s has, like, 50% off practically everything. Everything that just happens to be on your list…
She meant: And what a coincidence my list too! I mean, how could I not buy myself a little something? With such good deals it’s like I’m making money!
Avoiding Lectures on How Much You’re Spending
She said: Mom don’t look in that bag! It’s full of Christmas goodies you’re not supposed to see!
She meant: I don’t want you seeing how much I spent on that cashmere sweater that I bought…for myself :/
Dropping Hints to Your Boyfriend
She said: So did you hear that the new It color for 2013 is emerald? Lucky for me I look great in emeralds. Oh what’s this? The Zales catalogue? Huh, how’d that get in your truck…?
She meant: If I don’t unwrap some sick earrings on Dec 25 then I’m tearing up the Giants tickets I got you. JUST TRY ME, CONNOR.
She said: Ooo Dad, um I’ll catch up with you, go on ahead to Macy’s. I’m gonna run into Justice and get something for Lucy.
She meant: My little sister has enough crap already. But I spy a Harry Styles lip balm that I kind of need in my life.
Dealing With the Mall
She said: OMFG. It was a complete fiasco, you guys. I can’t believe that someone would actually throw elbows, ram someone with their cart and cuss like a sailor just to grab the last Monster High doll for their little sister.
She meant: But I did it anyway.
Going into Debt
She said: Hmm…do I want to open a Target card? Sure, why not. It’s good to build credit, right?
She meant: Uh I have plenty of credit thanks to my Capital One, Macy’s card and Victoria’s Secret card. What I do not have, apparently, is self control. SIGH.
Checking Your Bank Balance
She said: I know! Let’s all just make each other presents this year! Why get so caught up in the commercialism of the holidays, ya know?
She said: I hope you like a macaroni portrait of yourself or a re-gifted candle I got from my cousin Sarah’s wedding because that’s about all I can afford. Damn you cashmere, why are you so irresistible?!
What’s on your mind when you’re Christmas shopping? Do you ever buy gifts for yourself? Tell us in the comments!