I recently got up the nerve to tell my crush I liked him. The only problem? One of my friends likes him also, and she told him she had a crush on him too. My crush ended up basically picking my friend over me. I’m so upset and I still want to be with him. How can I make him realize he made the wrong decision and change his mind?
Before I give you some advice, I just want to give you major props for having the courage to tell your crush how you feel about him. That isn’t easy and it takes a lot of guts. I know things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to, but you should still be proud of yourself for being able to speak your mind.
As for changing this guy’s mind? I hate to say this, but I’m afraid that probably won’t happen. I know you’re hurting from being rejected and I can completely understand why you want to try to turn things around here. But when it comes to rejection, the best thing to do is to move on and forget about it.
Here’s the thing: trying to change his mind is only going to make you look a little silly. If he already told you he isn’t interested and he’s made it known that he has feelings for your friend, well, then that’s that. It’s nearly impossible to change the way someone feels about someone else – that’s a personal thing and not something for you to try to mess with. Any attempts at making your friend look bad and making yourself look better are only going to come off as a little desperate and probably push both of them away from you.
But forget about what you look like to them – focusing your time and energy on trying to make someone like you is only going to make you feel bad about yourself. You don’t want to lower your own self-esteem trying to be the kind of girl this guy is into. If he’s not into you, then it’s his loss. He’s missing out! If he’s ever going to come to the conclusion that he made the wrong choice, he’ll have to do that on his own, without your help.
So for now, try to take a step back from this situation and forget about it. I know it hurts and I know it stinks, but this isn’t the last guy you’ll have a crush on. Not everyone is always going to like us in this world and that’s okay. Focus on being your awesome self rather than trying to convince him to like you. You’re so much better than that!
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org