Oral Sex Question: Is It Normal Not To Orgasm?

What’s normal is all about what’s normal for you! | Source: ShutterStock

Is it normal if oral sex doesn’t really do anything for me?

ChickRx expert Evelyn Resh, Certified Sexuality Counselor and Nurse/Midwife says:

What’s normal when it comes to sex really boils down to what’s normal for you. And while oral sex is wonderful for a lot of people, oral sex just isn’t for everyone. Women of all ages have told me that it’s just not their thing and they never have orgasms from oral sex.

And yeah, this can get complicated if your partner just loves oral sex and you don’t share his or her enthusiasm. But, depending on your reasons why it’s not first on your list, you can sometimes change those circumstances to make the experience more appealing. For example, if the big hold up for you is that you’re worried that you don’t smell or taste right down there, you can take a shower break before getting into oral sex. (Let me just jump in here and say that your vagina totally smells and tastes like a normal vagina, but I understand that vagina odor insecurity can factor in bigtime when it comes to oral sex.)

Another issue could be that you’re not relaxed enough during oral sex or comfortable enough with your partner. Oral sex is very intimate, some would say it’s even more intimate than vaginal sex. And for it to be enjoyable and end in an orgasm, you need to be comfortable and relaxed. That could just come from spending more time getting to know your partner or it could come from practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing.

If you don’t have a specific oral sex hold up, and you’re thinking, “I just don’t like oral sex,” that’s fine too. You’re facing an important fact that we all discover when it comes to sexual preferences: You can’t have it all. You may like other parts of physical intimacy better and just not be into oral sex at all. You don’t have to like everything. This is why finding a way to communicate with your partner about sex is so important. Let him or her know what feels good to you and what doesn’t.

Figuring out what you like and what you don’t when it comes to sex is something you’ll be exploring forever and your tastes may or may not change, depending on your partner. The most important thing to remember is this: You should never be forced to do anything that you don’t want to do. If this is happening with you guy or gal, get out of the relationship and don’t look back.

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  • Sagar v

    This is the first time i gone threw your website. Quiet interesting and very good for all positive and negative doubts about SEX.

  • BleedingSun

    See, I’ve never enjoyed oral sex. Receiving just didn’t do anything for me – I could hardly feel it. I get WAY more pleasure out of them just usng their hands. And giving it is just plain uncomfortable – gagging, neck gets sore, they just lay/sit there and do nothing. It’s boring.
    I’ve never understood how it could possibly be more intimate then vaginal sex (baring of course lesbian sex, where their sex is just as intimate as any hetro couple. I don’t mean any offsense). How is one person enjoying, basically doing nothing while the other works more intimate then both enjoying and having someone LITERALLY inside you? To me, that’s the most intimate a human can get – actually being within their partner or having your partner in you.