I’m a virgin and I have never been on a date with a guy. I’ve never even been kissed. I always feel like guys are totally turned off by this. Do guys really find it a turn-off if you’re a virgin and inexperienced in relationships?
Don’t despair! For one thing, did you know that in some ancient cultures, virgins were so highly regarded that they were employed as sacrificial offerings to the Gods? …Okay, so maybe that doesn’t make you feel any better. But the good news is that in general, guys are not “totally turned off” by inexperience — though the two-part question you pose does require a two-part answer.
First, not only is virginity nothing to be ashamed of, it’s also not something you should worry about guys being turned off by. For the most part, any good guy will respect and admire the fact that you don’t take sex lightly. Of course, how each specific guy will react to this information depends both upon your reasons for waiting, and the guy’s intentions. Does your religion encourage you to wait until marriage? Are you holding out for someone worthy of the privilege? Or have you simply not had the chance to yet? Seeing as all are totally valid reasons, treat the sharing of this info with your potential partner as an opportunity to test compatibility. If he’s anything but totally understanding about your sexual history, consider yourself lucky to have avoided a relationship with a guy who’s not right for you, and possibly even a jerk.
And as for your lack of all romantic experience, I think the fact that you’ve never been kissed is really only as important as you choose to make it. It other words, a guy will less likely be turned off by the actual number of dates you’ve been on than he will by a lack of confidence over that fact. If you’re able to own your status as a dating newb, guys will be put at ease by your casually positive attitude. If you can treat your inexperience as a non-issue, he can too!
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.