10 Love Lessons I Learned From Rory Gilmore

To say I was a fan of Gilmore Girls is not enough. I was obsessed with that show. I wanted Lorelai and Rory Gilmore to be real so bad, so they could be my best friends who would talk really, really fast to me and teach me all about the hip pop culture things they were always referencing. I watched Gilmore Girls religiously while it was on TV and I could never decided if I wanted to be more like Lorelai (Spontaneous! Carefree! Irresistible to men!) or Rory (Smart! Organized! Irresistible to guys!). When the show ended, I cried like a baby and then watched the entire thing on DVD three times.

So, yeah, I guess you could say that I learned a lot from Rory Gilmore. She was sort of my role model and I was insanely jealous of everything about her – especially her love life. Say what you want about Dean, Jess and Logan, but those dudes were hot and they adored her. Since everyone could use a little more Rory Gilmore in their lives, here is a list of 10 love lessons she taught me:


Don’t say “I love you” if you don’t mean it

Dean and Rory always seemed like the perfect teen couple, but it was also always obvious that Dean liked Rory more than she liked him. When Dean first told Rory he loved her (after he built her a freakin’ car), she couldn’t say it back because she wasn’t ready. They broke up, but got back together once she realized how she really felt, which lead to one of the best Gilmore scenes ever (I so wanted to dramatically recreate this). Lesson learned? Saying “I love you” is a big deal. Don’t say it just because he did – say it only if you mean it, even if it takes a little while to realize it.


Never let a guy hold you back

What two things were always the most important parts of Rory’s life? Not one of her boyfriends, but school and her mom. Rory almost never let a dude get in the way of her dreams. She didn’t let Dean distract her from becoming high school valedictorian or going to Yale, she didn’t let her heartbreak over Jess get in the way of school and besides for that time she quit Yale to hang with Logan (more on that later), she didn’t let him mess up her future. The series ends with Rory rejecting Logan’s proposal to fulfill her own dreams. Pretty awesome.


Do put friends and family over your boyfriend

Remember when Rory and Lorelai weren’t speaking? That was the absolute worst. Rory might have put her relationships with Logan and Jess before her mom and her BFF Lane, but in the end, she realized how important both of them were to her. What did I take from this? Boys can come and go, but your BFF’s will always be there. Corny, I know. Go ahead and make fun of me.


Don’t be the other woman

Rory lost her virginity to Dean… when he was married. Um, not a good idea. Not only did she almost ruin Dean’s relationship with Lindsay, but she also made herself feel pretty crappy. Things were super awkward for a long time, to say the least. So, losing it to your married ex boyfriend – not something I’d recommend.


Chasing after a guy who ditched you isn’t a good idea

I totally felt Rory’s heartbreak when Jess left her to go to California. And even though I know she wanted to run after him, she didn’t. Smart move, Rory! She also didn’t play games when he randomly called her and stopped by. The lesson: if a guy is going to be a big enough jerk to leave like that, don’t let him in your life.


Don’t overlook your dude BFF

What would have happened if Rory fell for Marty instead of Logan?! We’ll never know. But we can learn from Rory that sometimes your guy BFF is in love with you and might be worth a shot. Don’t overlook your sort of geeky friend – he might be secretly awesome.


Step outside of your dating comfort zone

If Rory wanted to be really boring, she could have stayed with Dean forever. But instead, she took a chance on both Jess and Logan. Even though they didn’t seem like her type and Lorelai did not approve, she still tried it out. And even though those relationships didn’t work out, she still learned a lot and didn’t regret them. Sometimes it’s good to step out of your comfort zone and take a chance.


Don’t do the friends with benefits thing with a guy you really like

Remember when Rory and Logan first started hanging out and they tried the whole FWB thing? Yeah. Rory was all like, “I don’t care if he sleeps with other girls, we’re just casual” and everyone else was like “This is so not you Rory”. And it wasn’t. Rory had real feelings for Logan and in the end, she was too miserable trying to be casual to keep doing it. Things worked out for Rory, but that’s because it’s Gilmore Girls, and not real life.


Big gestures don’t mean love

Logan did a lot of cool stuff for Rory, because he had a ton of money and was raised to believe it could get him anything he wanted. During their relationship and before it, Logan bought Rory a coffee cart and a Birkin bag to impress her. But none of that worked because Rory is the coolest chick ever. When they broke up, she only got back together with him when he went to Lorelai for help. Moral of the story? Don’t fall for things money can buy – fall for guys who swallow their pride to impress you.


Don’t let yourself get totally sucked into your boyfriend’s life

The one thing I always hated about Logan was that Rory became a different person when she was with him. She did everything with Logan and basically dropped her Stars Hollow life to immerse herself entirely in his. That wasn’t his fault – it was Rory’s choice. But it was a stupid one (sorry Rory). She dropped out of Yale, didn’t talk to her mom, lived with her grandma and drank every night. SO NOT RORY. Don’t become a different person when you’re with a guy. Just don’t.

Are you a Gilmore Girls fan? What did you learn from Rory and Lorelai? Which of these lessons do you agree with most? Tell me in the comments!


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  • amber

    I completely understand. Every year or so I sit down and watch all seven seasons and just cry. It was and is such a huge part of my life.

  • amir reza

    i love someone but she don’t love me