Waiting For A Kiss Under The Mistletoe

I have a slight addiction to holiday TV movies. It’s not even so much that I find ones often that I think are particularly good, but rather it’s just that I am in love with love. During the holidays, everything seems so magical, making the season an amazing setting for an epic love story. I can put aside my gripes over poor plots and bizarre dialogue if it means somebody gets that perfect kiss under the mistletoe.

I think all the TV movies I watch during the holidays have made me think that mistletoe is more common than it is. I think I have only seen it hanging in a doorway once in my life. Needless to say, I did not get kissed under it. I don’t know if I even know how to kiss under mistletoe without being super creepy. I may have this elaborate idea of a fantasy mistletoe kiss in the style of the great holiday romances, but I also know that I am pretty socially awkward with a streak of bad luck.

Basically this is pretty much how I imagine me at a party with mistletoe would go down:

I arrive ready to have some low-key, no-stress fun with my friends.

That low-key attitude lasts about ten seconds because then HE casually walks by me – the guy I’ve been crushing on for a while now. And FYI, our last three conversations had some sort of flirtatious element (not that I am keeping track). I swoon.

And then across the room I spot it, hanging just on the other side of the room. MISTLETOE. A plan is starting form. I am going to make my own TV movie holiday kiss dreams come true!

I hustle on over to the mistletoe and just casually stand there. I realize that this is also a prime snack table location. Seriously could my life get any better tonight?! I grab a big handful of whatever is on the plate next to me.

The second I bite in, I have the most horrific realization that a wannabe kisser can have. THERE WAS GARLIC IN THAT SNACK!! WHYYYYY???

Ack, who serves that at a holiday party? I think there’s half a piece of Trident in my clutch. As I fish for the gum, I sense someone starting to walk toward me. Unfortunately, it’s just my friend’s brother who always seems to be weirdly lurking around me.

I see his eyes fixate on the mistletoe, and I know that he has the same idea that I had (you know, just not with him). I stop that one before it even starts. Must stay focused on my mission here.

I keep hanging out near the mistletoe and glancing over at my crush across the way. Then, a holiday miracle happens.

ACK! He just saw me staring. I have to recover quickly.

Okay let’s be honest, I probably just kept looking like this.

Should I go over there? No, I can’t lose this prime mistletoe spot. OMG HE IS ON HIS WAY OVER. He just said hi to me. Now it’s my turn.

He says he likes my outfit. I make a mental note that our number of flirtatious interactions is now up to four. Wait, how do I respond to this?? I don’t want to seem too desperate, so I settle on a very casual response.

What is wrong with myself?! By a stroke of holiday luck he keeps talking to me. I think I manage to respond enough to keep a conversation going, but only one thought it running in my head.

All of a sudden, he comments that we are standing under mistletoe. I act like I never even noticed it.

To me, this seems like an obvious sign. A guy wouldn’t bring up kissing with someone they don’t want to kiss, right? Ah, do you think that little piece of gum did the trick to fix my snack breath? No time to think about that – he starts leaning in. I’m just going to go for it. Mistletoe is awesome!

ANDDDDD turns out he was just reaching over me to grab a snack. I decide to give up on my “foolproof” mistletoe kissing plan. I excuse myself to go find some of my girlfriends so I can give them the highlights of what just went down with my grand attempt at a mistletoe kiss.

Okay so maybe I didn’t get my kiss under the mistletoe like the characters in my TV movies, but New Year’s Eve is right around the corner and you can bet I’m going to go for that perfect kiss at midnight. TO BE CONTINUED!

What do you think about kissing under mistletoe during the holidays? Have you ever had a mistletoe kiss? Was it as awkward as this? Let us know in the comments!

The Lazy Girl’s Guide To Good Kissing

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter

Posted in: For Laughs
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
  • Angie

    I’ve always wanted a guy to kiss me under mistletoe!! It’s pretty much my dream first kiss (I’ve never had my first kiss! And I’m 16!!!). I either want it to be under mistletoe, at the strike of midnight on New Year’s Eve, or in the rain!! Where is my gorgeous Prince Charming?

  • Lentil soup

    Is that Elaine from Seinfeld on the second GIF? Oh, and the Incredibles GIF is very true

    • Sydney

      No it’s the Nanny 🙂

    • Katie

      No that’s Fran from The Nanny

  • Melanie Reed

    i have never been kissed under the misle toe. i would like to be kissed under it but it has not happened yet. im still waiting for the ” Mr. Right ” to come along but this waiting get very boring. i want to know who he will be and when we meet. but to everyone out there who is also looking around for that one to show… well dont keep looking for just one guy, get to know someone and go for it if its right then you have found him.

  • DesiHeart

    Omg I love mistletoe kisses! They’re so romantic. I’m a writer and I’m writing a story about that right now.