Are You Too Grossed Out By Sex?!

grossed out sex 1

If sex really grosses you out, you may have bigger problems than you realize! | Source: ShutterStock

Let’s put it out there: Sex can be pretty gross, but it can also be pretty awesome, and that sort of cancels out a lot of the inherent nasty stuff. But it turns out if you’re really, really grossed out by sex, you may have a bigger problem.

A new study revealed that feeling disgust at sexual situations can actually physically prevent you from having or enjoying sex at all. Women who suffer vaginismus are more likely to be grossed out by sexual, sexual situations, or just the idea of body fluids being exchanged. (Okay, when you put it that way, it is pretty gross.) Vaginismus is a disorder that makes your pelvic muscles involuntarily contract if and when they’re penetrated–meaning it usually prevents vaginal sexual intercourse from happening at all.

The research says that if you feel disgusted by sex, vaginismus may be a subconscious defense mechanism that the body uses to prevent it from going down (or in, as it were). And disgust is something tough to control–think of how seeing someone else puke makes you gag. You can’t help it, right?

Researchers did a bunch of surveys on sexual disgust on normal, healthy people and some on women and men with sexual disorders including vaginismus. They found that the women with vaginismus reported a lot more disgust at sexual situations than sexually healthy people or people with other sexual disorders did.

However, it’s sort of unclear in a chicken-or-the-egg sort of way which causes which. Does disgust trigger the body into shutting down the possibility of intercourse through vaginismus? Or does the discomfort and embarrassment that comes with vaginismus lead to being disgusted with sex in general? It can–and probably does–go both ways.

Which isn’t to say it’s abnormal to think sex is a little icky. It is. But it’s also amazing when it’s right. If you experience physical discomfort and disgust during sex, though, you may want to talk to your gyno, because it’s never supposed to feel bad. (If it was, we’d all be extinct by now!)

Do you think sex is gross? Have you ever experienced disgust or discomfort during sex? Do you think one leads to the other? Tell us in the comments!

You’re not the only person grossed out by sex!

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Posted in: News & Reviews, Sex
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  • Eli

    I’m 29, married with one child. I had a lot of sex before I met my husband and in the beginning had a lot of sex with him. In 2009, I just stopped wanting sex. It’s gross and uncomfortable. Him and I fight ALL the time about it. He gets mad at me and tells me that I just need to get over it because he HAS to have it. My anxiety spikes and I feel very vulnerable and sometimes physically ill when he tells me to “think about it”. Even sexual scene in movies or tv make me uncomfortable. My gyno doesn’t think anything is wrong and just blew me off when I mentioned it. I’m actually ok with never having sex again (except to have another kid), but that just won’t fly with my husband obviously.

  • Robin

    I’m a 23 year old sexual abuse surviver. That in itself has cause some sexual problems, but my husband and i have worked together to overcome that and i truely enjoyed sex for a time though i got no physical sensation out of it. Then i learned how to get sensation. Recently, though, i still enjoy the idea of sex, and i’ll flirt and snuggle but as soon as things get serious i get grossed out and just want it to be over asap… i still love my husband and want to enjoy sex again but i dont understand whats cyanged 🙁

  • MagiZombi

    “A new study revealed that feeling disgust at sexual situations can actually physically prevent you from having or enjoying sex at all.”
    i dont honestly see how this is a problem lmfao

  • Justin

    So I’m in my 30s now, and I’ve had a dozen or so girlfriends, and I love sex a great deal, can never get enough. Literally. My problem is with the oral part. BJs don’t really do much for me, I’d much rather be on top of her. Where it gets weird is I can’t figure out how to enjoy going down on her. I’ve tried with several girls, and this last time, I literally almost threw up after. It’s not that it tastes especially bad or anything, but it’s just in my head I feel like I’m a gorilla flinging feces and making out with another’s genitals and it starts to turn me off, which in turn turns her off.

    I seriously do want to make her happy, my heart’s in the right place, I just can’t figure out how to enjoy oral. I almost feel like there’s something wrong with me. It really f*cks with my head cuz I’ve always been kind of a loner and never really approached or talked to many girls and kinda got the invisible treatment a lot so it’s just a whirlwind of “what ifs” messing with my emotions. I’m pretty sure I’m not gay as I’m obviously attracted to women vastly more than men.

    • DDM1

      Get a woman who doesn’t want oral sex. Plenty of women like that, and especially plenty who don’t want to do the guy. Yuck/gag factor.

  • Connie

    Sex has always disgusted me, and performing oral sex makes me throw up. I started having sex when I was 18 and I never felt as though I wanted sex, it was just something expected of me. I’ve been married twice, have two children, and never could get used to it. It smells bad, I don’t feel any different than if someone were rubbing my elbow, it makes me smell bad (baking soda baths help somewhat), and why does he want it all the time??! Gross. I even tried masturbating to see if I was doing something wrong. I can orgasm, but it’s like “ee-hmm” and then there’s stink. I don’t see what all the hoopla is about, it’s still all really gross, and I still have no urges to do it.

  • Dave H

    That’s the thing with me.As much sex on the brain as I have,i don’t get any.One,premature ejaculation,which is very embarrassing,and the ick factor involved with the scent,taste,texture of the vj.And I was sexually molested when i was 12,and it went on sporadically for about 3 years.And i haven’t seen a head shrinker about it yet.And since I can remeber ,I’ve always been shy about approaching women.Help!

    • DDM1

      Viagra would help control your ejaculation problem. Talk to your doc about getting some.

  • Athulya. SH

    Hey friends! I’m Athulya and I’m 19yrs old 🙂 I’ve never been sexually attracted to a guy before but ya, I do like a guy now ( I like him as a person ) nothing sexual at all. I also have no desire for sex. The idea of sex is repulsive to me. Even seeing couples or attending weddings is hard for me cuz it reminds me of sex. I also don’t watch romantic movies and don’t listen to romantic songs either. I’m actually, very much against all this to such a level that I developed depression and have to take cipralex tablets now. The medicine is good and I don’t feel depressed or suicidal any more. Well, I had suididal thought before cuz I hate sex, sexual attraction..everything related to it. So, I hated my life, hated for being born and hated the world. I still hate it but I’m not depressed and am not suicidal. I’m having a good life. Any thoughts……?

    • DDM1

      Look up asexual people or asexual dating on the internet and make friends with others that also lack an interest in sex.

  • Kevin

    I like the female anatomy. I masturbate regularly! But certain sexual acts seem really gross. Specially the ones dealing with anus and at times vagina. Idk, I don’t feel gross all the time but I do sometimes. It’s yucky to think of licking genitals, anus!

    • DDM1

      So don’t lick. Many women would rather not be bothered with oral sex and especially don’t want to service the guy. Years before all the porn mags got published almost no one even thought of doing oral.

  • Amanda

    Okay here’s my thing: It’s not the thought of sex generally that makes me sick (I enjoy thinking about it and watching porn like everyone) its when it becomes an option for ME to have sex.
    Im fine with self touching, but the idea of someone else doing it to me creeps me the hell out!
    As a 21 year old woman, is this weird? Like REALY weird? And is there even a name for this?

  • Me

    My problem is this. I think the female vagina is the grossest looking thing I have ever seen! I wish I didn’t feel that way. As a man of course I am horny. And as everybody knows, men are very visual. So I desire something that I can’t stand to look at! I hate it! What am I gonna do. I don’t have sex at all. It’s been 24 years for me. And to all you extremely simple minded people out there, just because I think the vj is gross does not simply make me default to being gay! I think women are hot, except for their spot. So I guess I’m single for life. Which apparently is ok with the ladies because I’m ugly and nobody wants me anyways so I can just plan on being sexually frustrated for the rest of my life.

    • DDM1

      Lights out, or just don’t look. Many women don’t want your face down there anyway.

  • xxsunshine1

    Maybe some people think its gross because of media: the way they use it to sell anthing and everything. maybe its because of the way people at their school are, sick and complaining about their “boyfriends” theyll have it with and break up later with, or maybe some people get grossed out by knowing your like 3 inches away from their small intestines, and the fact a penis and vagina are just fleshy veiny bloody-filled organ. Everyone has their reasons and i really dont have a problem, but sex isnt something thats on my mine 24/7, ive only thought of doing it with one person…so… even i still think..your touching organs and stuff..that is gross.

  • Nd

    this article resonates with me. i suffer both vaginismus [painfully impossible penetration — and pain for him, also, if he persists] and an intense ‘yick’ perception of sex. i also identify as asexual (since don’t really mind missing what i’ve never found genuinely appealing, as the idea turned out to be more attractive than the mood-killing actuality)…

    however, i am newly in therapy to remedy the vaginismus — wondering that perhaps removing the pain will likewise invite some enjoyment, if not just sufficient tolerance………..

    just food for thought.

    • DDM1

      Do a couple of alcoholic drinks help? Not that I recommend it, but those who drink seem to get turned on rather easily.

  • Violet_Rain

    The tone of this article bothers me somewhat. Just because someone is grossed out by sex, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a health issue. Now, if somebody finds sex disgusting but *wants* to be able to enjoy it and stop thinking about it that way, then maybe that’s an issue to be dealt with. However, if somebody is grossed out by sex, but is perfectly happy that way and has no desire to have sex with anybody, then that’s not abnormal.

    • Sarah

      Sex is the most natural basic instinct we have as humans.
      To have sex is to reproduce which is what we are meant to do
      As humans. If it seems normal to have no interest in or care if
      you find sex disgusting then there is something wrong. For you to
      think think that’s “normal” is not just abnormal it’s sad to. There is
      either a hormonal issue or a mental/emotional issue.

      • G

        This is me! I was sexually abused by my own father and I want to feel normal but can’t;(

    • Allen

      I understand how you feel cause I feel the same. I just don’t see the big deal about sex anymore. I did when I was younger until I started having it, and I just never got some huge thrill, and I always thought actually getting close to the private body parts was disgusting, by look and smell. When I look at naked women bending over with their assholes looking right at me, and the viginia too, it’s gross looking, and i am reminded of the smell (from when I’d done it) even when I see pictures on the web, I just can’t get turned on by it anymore. And NO I am not gay. I’m still just as grossed out and even more by a dick and a man’s ass. I don’t see why some of you want to label us rudely. I’m not interested, I’m now 42, and I’m fine with that now. NO, this is not some sour grapes thing where I’m feeling this way cause I couldn’t get any. As I stated before, the few times I had sex grossed me out from it, and I’ve had women offer it and I’ve said no. I’m not interested. There are so many other non sexual ways to entertain myself; watching movies, playing an instrument, playing video games, reading, posting film reviews, cooking and eating good food, the list is endless. Sex is NOT necessary for happiness.

  • Bobbie

    Or you could just be asexual, nothing wrong with that.

    • jeff

      There’s no such thing as an “asexual” human being. It’s just throwing a term around to make an abnormality socially acceptable. While the mechanics can be gross, it truly is a sign of psychological issues. If it was “normal” for humans to be “asexual” then we wouldn’t exist as a species.

      • Chris

        Jeff, asexuality.org. Yes it’s real. Deal with it.

        • OS

          Oh something is real if it has a website, cool. Also its real and its abnormal by definition.

      • DDM1

        Yes it’s real. Person can have less hormones than usual, especially testosterone. Hormone change after childbirth can turn off, even cause depression and mental debilitation (murders, suicides). Taking antidepressants also often turns off sex drive.

    • not new at this

      Im 37. I have 5 kids.. four teenagers and a toddler. So clearly.. my husband and i have had LOTS of sex. The amount has deindled again since our recent addition.. and eventually it just stopped. I didnt enjoy it and was able to avoid it. But now.. it grosses me out. My husband doesnt understand it. I will cry because i feel pressured into having intercourse with him (silently sob). The sounds he makes, the sounds of body fluids, the feel of body fluids.. the thought of him and me naked.. it literally grosses me out.

      • DDM1

        Maybe you could ask him to at least stop the sounds. My parents had 7 kids and we never heard anything going on in the bedroom.

  • Cherri

    Sometimes I think these words are just labels to people to say they’re not normal. If they like the idea of having sex, they don’t have to. It’s a main message on this message on this site, but once a ‘name for it’ pops up, everyone’s image suddenly changes. I mean, no matter which way you look at it it, it is kinda yuck, but some people feel different about it than others.